Is she weird or just Nordic?

After an unintentional break overwhelmed by the state of the world, I’m back behind the mic. In this episode, I catch you up on life on tour — including observations about disgruntled Swedes, edgy Finns, and the time I casually suggested on Instagram that the president of Finland should father my unborn frozen eggs… only for him to follow me. So yes, dreams do come true. A Nordic fairytale, r...

In this episode, I’m pushed to the brink by my neighbours, who have apparently decided that 6 a.m. drilling is a human right. At what point does renovation noise become a hate crime? Asking for all of us. Honestly, jail. Then we move on to the most shocking thing to happen in Norway since… ever: the royal family drama currently unfolding in real time. I break down what’s going on, why th...

In this episode, I talk about the absolutely unhinged weekend I just had — including the princess… ex-princess?of Norway turning up to one of my shows, followed shortly by four security guards having to physically remove a very drunk Australian man from the room. Which is comedy. It’s live comedy. Anything can happen. Royalty in the front row, chaos in the back. From there, I spiral gently in...

On today’s episode, I start off where we’re all living right now: the low-grade terror of existing in a world that feels permanently on the brink. Comforting! From there, we take a hard left into something far more practical — my dog’s urinary tract infection, the indignity of trying to collect a urine sample from a very small dog, and the strange courage it takes to fully commit to that task desp...

So… welcome. I am currently hiding from storms. Not metaphorically — literally. The weather in Norway feels personal right now. And honestly the global political weather isn’t great either. Isn’t it kind of cringe to still be doing colonisation in 2026? Like… read the room?! Anyway — this episode is about hiding, and also about letting things go. Because sometimes the momentum just isn’t there any...

So… welcome to 2026. We are one week in and somehow already in what feels like a geopolitical thriller. Like — this is not “New Year, New Me.” This is “New Year, New Cold War.” I’ll get to that. But first: Christmas was actually lovely. I had a great holiday, I hope you did too — although the contrast between “quiet Nordic winter” and “the world actively on fire” is… jarring. On New Year...

In this episode I ramble about the Christmas holidays — wherever you are and whatever you’re celebrating, I hope it’s been a decent one. I know this time of year can be rough for people with difficult families, so genuinely: I hope you’re doing alright. I’ve actually been lucky enough to have had a really nice one myself. I talk about my grandparents, and how if you give my nana even a drop of alc...

In this episode, I kick things off by wishing you happy celebrations—whatever you celebrate. Christmas, not Christmas, something else entirely… honestly, as long as you’re okay, that’s what matters. Then things get a little weird—in a good way. I start unpacking my thoughts for 2026 and accidentally (or maybe intentionally) walk you straight into the early stages of my next show. This episode is b...

In this episode, I’m chatting all about my birthday — yep, I’m turning 37 tomorrow! I do a little debrief and reflection on what I’ve learned, the wisdom I’ve gathered, and all the things I’ve picked up while roaming around Planet Earth for 37 whole moons. It’s a fun, cozy catch-up, and yes… I still have a cold. So please bear with me if I sound like someone is pinching my nose shut — I swear no o...

Today’s episode kicks off with a heartfelt, deeply spiritual rant about my eternal feud with Valencia—yes, the city in Spain. There  is  a backstory, and no, I’m not repeating it here; you’ll have to listen to the podcast to understand why Valencia and I are never, ever getting back together. But shout-out to the wonderful audiences in Spain—you were lovely, even if your geography betray...

Welcome back to… whatever this is. Honestly, this episode shouldn’t even be a podcast because it’s basically just me complaining about being ill. I currently sound like an 80-year-old chain-smoker who’s been through 40 packs a day, so apologies in advance. This episode is pretty much me being ill, talking about being ill, and then—just for variety—ranting a bit more about being ill. It’s got very...

This week I go on a full-throttle, caffeinated rant triggered by a Ukrainian woman telling me — with great confidence — that I need Botox and should’ve started five years ago. (Thank you??) From there, we spiral naturally into why I refuse to date Norwegian men again (spiritual incompatibility is real), and then — because why not — into my ongoing anxiety about the rise of the far-right in Norway....

In this episode, I’m running on no sleep — and it shows. What starts as a chaotic rant turns into a journey through my recent trip to the Netherlands, meeting new comedians (and what annoys me about them, mostly because I see too much of myself), and somehow ends with me doing stand-up for NATO. Yes, NATO. It’s not my proudest or calmest episode, but it’s real. Somewhere between the complaining an...

In today’s episode, I talk about two things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other — my vulva and my brand-new IUD. Only joking! Of course they are connected. I had it inserted today (ouch), and while I’m in pain, it’s totally manageable. Honestly, best invention since the traffic light. Then we get into my tour, and my complicated feelings about Brussels — a city I claim to dislike, t...

Today I’m a full-on hormonal mess — and honestly, it’s fine. It’s just been one of those days where the world (and certain creepy Christians) really get under my skin. Can we please stop enforcing outdated beliefs on everyone, especially when it comes to women’s reproductive rights? I’m over it. So, in this episode, I go on a bit of a rant — about that, about feeling suffocated by hypocr...

Today I get really personal. Like, oversharing-on-the-internet personal. I’m honestly amazed that people from all over the world are listening to this — like, hi to whoever’s in Finland right now! Thanks so much, truly. Then I talk about how I’m heading out on tour, which is wild, and how I’m trying to be better at connecting with the people I love. Translation: I’ve finally become the k...

So, apologies, this one had some technical issues. Hopefully yyou can all listen now xx Follow Pernille Haaland: TikTok  https://www.tiktok.com/@pernille.haaland Instagram  www.instagram.com/pernille.haaland YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@pernille.haaland Facebook  www.facebook.com/pernillehaalandcomedy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I cover everything — from the riots in Norway and the pro-Palestinian protests to Haaland doing what Haaland does best: scoring goals. Somewhere in between all that chaos, I’ve also started seeing someone (yes, it’s happening!). I get into the whirlwind of dating someone new — that thrilling, nerve-wracking stage where you’re trying to play it cool while your brain is do...

In this episode, I dive into the hypocrisy of our times — from the absurdity of doing stand-up comedy in Saudi Arabia (yes, that’s a thing) to the lack of backbone you see in overly homogenous societies where people just follow the herd. I make the case for staying true to yourself, having your own opinions, and speaking up even when it’s uncomfortable. I also get personal: talking about recording...

This week I actually accomplished something: I went back to the gym. Not that I’d quit, but I definitely wasn’t chasing those gains either — so yeah, small victory unlocked. Meanwhile, a grenade went off in downtown Oslo (casual, right?), the internet is still screaming about Tylenol and autism (spoiler: we’re all autistic now, apparently), and I get into why outgrowing your friends in your 2...

So today in episode four, I talk about life on tour. And, you know, nothing says ‘rock and roll’ quite like… an assassination attempt on Charlie Kirk. I cover that, then dive into NATO — because apparently Europe’s been left home alone. The US has basically kicked us out of the flat, like, ‘good luck paying rent, kids.’ So now it’s Europe: now or never. Spoiler: probably never. Then, som...

This one’s a big one. I dive into the male loneliness epidemic and my own ongoing struggle with understanding men in general. How do you even begin to make sense of them? If you’ve got thoughts, I’d love to hear. Also, side note: I’m convinced every woman should get free clothing from Uniqlo as we grow into our lioness phase. Honestly, we deserve it. The amount of WhatsApp groups we partake in as...

In this one, I cover a little bit of everything: the rise of far-right politics in Norway, my trip to Stockholm (where, honestly, every woman looks like she walked out of a fashion campaign — it almost converted me), and my shows up north Norway. Somewhere along the way, I spiral into an existential crisis about never quite fitting into Norwegian culture — and realizing that’s okay. I also gush ab...

This week I launch my podcast which I can only assume is a bit like giving birth?! It is rough and dirty work, so I hope you appreciated my (dare I say) hard work. In this weeks first episode I try not to shit my pants as I delve into my hatred of waxing, my love for having sex on a couch and then I rant about the far right. No one is any wiser, but we feel less alone if that makes sense?! Thank y...