Intimate Judaism

The 15th  of Av , also known as Tu B'Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine's Day.  In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love. To purchase I Am For My Beloved: A Guide To Enhanced Intimacy For Mar...

Not since Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof has there been a matchmaker as famous as Aleeza Ben Shalom! Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a rollicking discussion with the colorful, engaging and entertaining host of "Jewish Matchmaking."

What happens to the sex life of couples during middle age?  Does the familiarity of long-term marriage breed sexual boredom ? Does aging reduce sexual interest?   What happens when intimacy is no longer mediated by nidah laws?  Listen to Rabbi Scott interview Talli as she presents surprising research findings and insights that will dispel myths about sex in midlife and beyond.

In our annual Q&A episode, Talli and Scott answer many questions and discuss numerous issues dealing with Judaism and intimacy, including whether avoiding sex before marriage means a likelihood of being sexually incompatible with your spouse, how to proceed when you start off shomer negiah and then... you're not, finding porn on your husband's intenet history, coping with changes in libido, defini...

The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the  Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are  definite differences between the way dating for marriage  is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities.  Recently, a research study was cond...

Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi S...

Numerous sources in our tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual, and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. However, If a woman has been taught that she must do what her husband wants and she is responsible for protecting him from sin, she will fear the consequences of saying no.  In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss how non-consensual se...

Pregnancy and childbirth are profound events in the life of a couple. The physical, psychological and hormonal changes that occur to women during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can impact both partners and affect emotional and sexual intimacy.  Couples must learn to adjust to a changed family system and a new identity as parents. Observant Jewish couples are additionally affected by laws t...

Infertility and pregnancy loss affects relationships: with self, God, partner, family, friends and community. In part 2 of this two part series, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the general implications of infertility and pregnancy loss on these relationships and on marital intimacy and sexuality. Listen  to Talli and Rabbi Scott discuss this as well as the specific considerations  for...

The liturgy we recite on Rosh Hashana includes references to fertility and childbirth. God remembers Sarah, Rachel and Chana by answerIng their prayers for a child.  The poem "Hayom harat olam," the 'birth day' of the world, evokes images of pregnancy. For individuals and couples struggling  with infertility or pregnancy loss, this can be triggering, painful and isolating. In the first of two epis...

Last month, Orthodox Jewish journalist Avital Chizhik-Goldschmidt published an article in The Atlantic highlighting the popularity of Laura Doyle's 2001 New York Times bestseller, 'The Surrendered Wife,' among Orthodox Jewish women. Doyle's book provides a practical guide to marital bliss and harmony, suggesting that women  stop being critical and demanding of their husbands, respect and trust the...

Judaism values sexuality in the framework of marriage, both for the purposes of procreation and for relational intimacy. But does Judaism sanction the enhancement of physical pleasure, or should it be minimized? Do the Sages relate to pleasure differently in men and women, and how aware were they regarding the female experience of desire, arousal and orgasm? Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenba...

According to Jewish sources, God created humans as distinctly male or distinctly female. The roles, obligations and privileges of each gender are clearly defined in our tradition. Yet, not everyone conforms to the gender assigned to them at birth and some individuals experience their gender as distinctly opposite. Can Orthodox individuals who identify as non-binary or transgender find welcoming pl...

In this month's  episode, we turn the mike over to you, our listeners, and answer a handful of the many questions you have sent in on email, Facebook and Instagram messenger. Listen to Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss what happens to queer women who don't want to miss out on traditional marriage and sexual reproduction, when you are angry at God, when babies destroy your sex life and m...

Reproductive health ensures that couples can lead satisfying sex lives, and make informed decisions regarding family planning. Decisions related to birth control methods are generally guided by various factors, including health, convenience, cost, preference, and sexual or other side effects. For most observant Jewish couples, these decisions are also informed by Jewish law. In the second episode...

Reproductive health is relevant to all couples in their childbearing years. Family planning, fertility interventions, and the use of contraception are guided by values and Halachic considerations, and involve several other factors including financial concerns, personal and professional goals, desired family size, and relationship stability. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in the first of...

In past decades, being Orthodox and gay meant suffering in the closet, or choosing to live authentically at the expense of religion. Today, more LGBTQ individuals and couples wish to retain their religious identities while embracing their sexual orientation. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a moving interview with Rachel Weinstein, Shimmy Feintuch and Joshua Brook. Become an Intimate J...

The World Health Organization defines sexual health as fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and considers sexual pleasure to be a basic human right. In Judaism, sexual pleasure is valued, but only in the context of marital sex, leaving many people in conflict between their sexual health and spiritual health. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbau...

During the month of Elul, hundreds of high school graduates flock to Israel for their gap year programs, yeshivot, and seminaries. This year offers experiences of high level learning, spiritual growth, increased maturity, new friendships, and fun. But many students experience confusion, particularly around their developing sexuality. The legendary "Night of Tears" refers to the night that some yes...

The Netflix reality show, My Unorthodox Life, has been the talk of much of the Orthodox world since it was released less than two weeks ago. It tells the story of Julia Haart, who first developed a shoe line, and quickly rose in the world of fashion. She now is the the CEO and co-owner of Elite World Group, the world's largest modeling network. As most of you probably know, the reason that her sto...

Although quite common, painful intercourse is a topic that is rarely talked about. Couples who are unable to experience pain free intercourse, or are unable to consummate their marriage, may not know why this is happening or with whom to consult. Is this problem physical or psychological? How is it diagnosed and treated? In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss causes and solu...

Modesty, lack of information, and embarrassment are just some factors that inhibit observant couples from using products designed to enhance sexual intimacy. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum host Beverly Damelin, who shares her expertise in the field of sexual enhancement products and explains how they can help improve the sexual experience. Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon...

"Forced marriage" and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren't sure about the partner, aren't ready for...

In Episode #30 of Intimate Judaism, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer practical sex questions from listeners. Among the subjects covered are: Can a couple experience sexual pleasure when intercourse is medically inadvisable? Why must couples get the first time "over with" on the wedding night? (Or must they?) Is it permissible to masturbate when your wife is a Niddah? May women fantasize...

Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of "relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment" can be t...