Intimate Interactions

The author, podcaster, and blogger Kat Stark is back for another session. We talk about bisexuality, queerness, pegging, the fear of not being queer enough, heteromantic queer orientations, queer sex, being genderqueer and having a complicated wardrobe; and we touch on BDSM bottoming and service bottoming. You can find Kat Stark at https://onthewetcoast.com and their book “Yelling in Pasties: The...

In Emma’s first two years being kinky, she’s learned a lot. We’ll talk about what she gets out of exploring submission, how service serves her, how she’s learned about this lifestyle, and what she’s currently still learning about. We also talk briefly about rape culture so that’s your content warning.

 Kris is a friend who describes herself as "an acquired taste who talks a lot" and who I’d describe as a psychedelic taking, van dwelling, wreck beach nudist since 14, free spirit hippie - oh yes, and she describes herself as “insanely polyamorous." While polyamory is about multiple loves rather than sex partners, some folks find it empowering as a term holding sex positive space for sluts, w...

Kat Stark is an author, podcaster, and blogger at https://onthewetcoast.com . They talk about their marital renaissance, slut shame, slut empowerment, overcoming non monogamy shame through consensual nonconsent fantasy, swinging, how the book “Come As You Are” helped them, the book “Opening Up,” and their own book, “Yelling in Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut.” It’s one of my...

 Today I’m recording another session with my mother who was born in India in 1954. We dive deeper into her relationships with her parents, talk a little more about the early parts of her marriage, and about her university exams. Some of this information is also new information for me. We get side-tracked a bunch and my mother’s words can be non-linear due to her intense anxiety. I have sent t...

Today I’m practicing great vulnerability with my mother who was born in India in 1954. We touch on what her family relationships were like and how she built intimacy in those relationships. We get side-tracked a bunch and my mother’s words can be non-linear due to her intense anxiety She was always cautious when I was young of what she shared with the greater world. Truthfully, our relationship ha...

Status and shame stick with each of us differently and follow us through life. Today we meet Lisa and Paula, two monogamous, vanilla, heterosexual women of colour in their 40s. They’re both successful entrepreneurs and mothers and wives who met during their MBA programs at UBC. We talk about the issues that suburban housewives face such as wives and mothers putting their own needs last as well as...

Had the pleasure of sitting down with Adele Barclay - Stranger to me so we take some time sussing each other out - Queer femme  - Poet focusing on intimacy and power - Published: “If I were in a cage, I’d reach out for you” is already out - Has a grant for her second book “Renaissance Normcore” We talk about - The ethics of vulnerability - Articulating vulnerability and the ways we protect ou...

Tillie King is a local queer femme bootblack. She describes herself as someone with mental illness. Some would say she’s one of the community matriarchs. Her perspective on intimate violence both consensual and non consensual is nuanced and interesting. I discuss the intersections of service, bdsm, and trauma. We make it accessible for new folks by discussing the differences between top or bottom...

  - content warning: white supremacy - Ranting and off topic is usual and can help with rest - What's your trigger plan for today? What do you need if you get triggered? - calm harm app - Do you use inappropriate jokes ever to cope with the awkwardness or anxiety surrounding trauma? - How does poverty intersect with trauma in your experience? - How do you feel white supremacy intersects with...

Elle and I chat about relationship anarchy and finding baby-raising nesting partners. Non monogamy and coparenting are definitely things that can work together. Enjoy our lively conversation and possibly the dulcet sounds of my trying to discreetly eat an orange while recording. We talk about time allocation and how hard these issues can be to navigate as a woman.  We briefly discuss how the...

Service is complicated Shame is powerful It might once have been complicated The results to me feel very simple Worth is hard to foster Coping with worthlessness is hard Self care isn’t obvious to many people My journey of understanding self care began with what’s called Compassionate Communication or Nonviolent Communication, NVC for short Thinking about what I needed helped Learning words for fe...

A kinky, nonmonogamous reserve forces veteran and former MRA discusses different cultures of masculinity and what healing has looked like for him on the road to healthier relationships with himself and his intimate partners.

Yana, a criminology student, discusses addiction, shame, abuse, and intimacy from her own experience and research.

An educator and former MRA discusses SOGI (sexual orientation and gender identity), GSA (gender and sexuality alliance), and the importance of curriculum. We discuss accomplishing learning objectives using content from queer and indigenous sources.

Yana, a criminology student, discusses the intersection of prison, gender, and addiction with me. We haven't seen each other in more than a decade, so we spend some time catching up first.

Relationships of all shapes and sizes require skills. While monogamy and nonmonogamy sometimes require different skills, sometimes they suffer from the same pitfalls. Emma talks about some toxic relationship ideas and monogamous ideals that don’t serve us in nonmonogamy. My Relationship Primer is available at https://victorsalmon.com/relationships

I chat with Selena, a sex worker for an escort service downtown about the stigma and dangers of sex work. We discuss sex work types, legalities, and resources. Resources are posted on posted about testosterone in older men and how women can promote testosterone secretion in men. We also discuss STI stigma.

Emma, a woman in a monogamous partnership is currently in discussions surrounding opening up her relationship. Today we’ll talk about why Emma wants to practice nonmonogamy, what she’s interested in practicing, and the preparation / pre-work she’s been doing to try to make the transition as easy as possible. We talk about Emma’s primary partner T and her emerging queerness and kinkiness. (Episode...

Shame expert Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti discusses her experience of shame and then offers some strategies (and a worksheet linked in the description) on transcending shame.

Anxiety, emotional management, introversion, and trauma. I explain the window of tolerance and some somatic exercises that I learned in counselling to get out of my head and back into my body. Cathy Vartuli discusses the professional work she does in and around anxiety awareness and healing. (Episode 12)

In this episode, I interview Piper, a former partner and current relationship anarchist. We focus on what works for each of us and how we make what it work. We also acknowledge what didn’t work. This is by far one of my favourite episodes and I'm very excited to share this content with you! (Episode 10)

In this episode, Mark Hughes, a friend of mine talks about the impacts of socialization and scripts he learned while poor, homeless, or in prison. Content warning for those of you who just can’t: this podcast includes Mark discussing trauma he has experienced as well as the consequences and how he copes as a survivor. We talk about triggers and how Mark has overcome addiction. His honest, open, em...

My focus in relationship interviews is helping flesh out the experiences that inform where a person is today: who they are and what relationship values they hold. In this podcast, my guest excels at ruthless honesty, being self critical of her struggles, learning experiences, and failings along the way. She certainly doesn’t make herself out to be anyone special. Yet I find her vulnerable, public...

If you’re a masculine person as I frequently am, anger is sometimes frightening to others, especially if they’ve seen masculine violence which is likely. In today’s session we’ll ask guiding questions like “where is it safe to express and process anger” or is your anger productive, useful, directed appropriately, and from your immediate situation. We’ll discuss strategies and share anecdotes. Visi...