Inspiration from the Couch

Today, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about three key and interconnected ingredients for healthy, romantic relationships -- closeness, connection/emotional intimacy, and friendship. We discuss what it means to be close and connected with your partners, the costs of intimacy, and we give pointers on how to strengthen intimacy and friendship in your romantic relationship. Do try this at home: To foster...

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy begin our podcast series on relationships. We start by reviewing changes in romantic relationships and how they have evolved across the decades, major reasons individuals divorce, and expectations that are placed on romantic partners. We then explore the love “chapters” in long-term relationships --- early idealization, fall from grace/disillusionment, and c...

Today we are talking about service to others: Why do we do it? What gets in the way? We discuss the difference between proactive giving and being "voluntold" to give to a certain cause. We also cover intentional giving, protecting boundaries while giving back, and adopting a mindset of serving. We end our conversation by reviewing different ways that we can get involved in our communitie...

Light a candle, grab a blanket, and get in your pj’s! In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of comfort. We talk about Hygge---the Danish word used to acknowledge a special feeling or moment which involves coziness and comfort. We share what we personally find comforting. We discuss possible downsides to comfort as well as ineffective comfort strategies. We also touch on th...

This week we start our conversation touching on the practice of setting new year’s resolutions. We have some feelings about this tradition! We talk about the difference between resolutions – which often fail for a variety of reasons – and goals that are more specific and reachable. We end this episode with an invitation to scrap resolutions entirely and instead focus on self-compassion and the con...

Today’s episode begins with Jamie, Lucy, and Avery exploring wonder: instances of wonder, how we experience it in the body, the benefits of wonder, and some of the cultural, personal, and developmental factors that impact our experiences of wonder. We identify 6 facets of wonder: openness, curiosity, bewilderment, hope, connection, and admiration, and we explore how creating “packs” in our lives c...

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy think back to the holiday season last year and discuss one of the things that we missed most: the “hustle and bustle.” We talk about being intentional in keeping the fun parts of the hustle and bustle this year and dropping the not-so-fun aspects of the holiday rush to preserve our mental health.  Do try this at home:  Enjoy the hustle and bustle.  Let the p...

Today Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about all things related to Joy. We explore what, exactly, joy is, how we experience joy, barriers to joy, and opportunities for increasing joy in our lives. To help us better understand this topic, we surveyed people with the following 5 questions:  How do you define joy? What are some characteristics of joy? Describe your experiences of joy? What brings you joy...

For many people the holiday season is not always the most wonderful time of year. According to a recent survey, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that approximately 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find that the holidays make their condition “a lot” worse and 40% “somewhat” worse. Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy in their discussion regarding how and why the holiday se...

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of family traditions. We discuss the characteristics of family traditions (i.e., significance, repetition, and coordination). We talk about the importance of traditions in providing predictability, connection, identity, and as a way to communicate values. We also share how the various types of family rituals/traditions (i.e., connectio...

It’s time for the holidays! Join Lucy, Avery, and Jamie as we kick off our holiday series with an episode on how to create an intentional holiday season. We explore common problems and complaints about the holidays, identifying factors that detract from a more peaceful and meaningful experience. We discuss how to be more intentional this holiday season, as well as the practice of being curious abo...

Today we wrap up our discussion of the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. We have spent the last 3 episodes taking a deep dive into 3 specific practices: Be a Yes, Give it up to Get Empty, and Embrace Naked Reality. In today’s episode, we will explore some of the highlights from the remaining 6 practices Baptiste writes about in his guide to igniting an empowered life. You do not need to have...

In today’s episode we discuss the concept, Embrace Naked Reality, from the book, Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Embracing naked reality refers to challenging the meaning making that we continuously do. Experiences that we have on a daily basis don’t really have an emotional charge to them --- it’s the meaning or the stories that we give to events or interactions that create that emotional charg...

In today’s episode we continue our in-depth dive into the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. The book offers 9 practices to ignite an empowered life. Last week we talked about the principle of “Be a Yes,” and today we are focusing on the practice of “Give it Up to Get Empty.” We talk about the excess “bricks” that we carry around, that weigh us down, and that interfere with us being our authen...

Today’s episode marks the beginning of a four-part series. In this installment, we do a deep dive into one of the topics that we found to be most helpful and relevant in the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Avery, Lucy, and Jamie explore “Being a Yes” or “being confident in your ability to turn difficulty into possibility.” We talk about what can get in the way of “being a yes” and focus on...

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy continue their discussion on perfectionism, which often stems from the belief that we are not enough or not worthy. We discuss conditional statements for worth that implicate perfectionism and explore all the sneaky ways that perfectionism can appear in our lives including school, work, parenting, intimate relationships, our environment, and physical appeara...

Our fifth book club is on Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb. In this episode we provide a brief overview of the book, discuss our own paths to becoming psychologists, talk about which characters we resonate with the most, and explain what we think are the most important aspects of the therapeutic relationship.  Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and...

In this episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about the mental health field and the process of seeking professional support. We discuss signs of when we might need outside assistance, and we differentiate professional support from friendship. We share about the mental health landscape: types of providers, levels of care, and types of interventions found on an outpatient basis. We demystify the proc...

In today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss perfectionism---the need to appear or be perfect. We discuss the various ways that perfectionism manifests as a trait and in behaviors,  share some of our own tendencies towards perfectionism, provide examples of perfectionism across the lifespan and in various activities, and discuss the downfalls and mental health consequences of perfectionism. ...

Most of us are in easy agreement that we should refrain from being assholes to others, yet we often speak to ourselves in harsh, critical, and self-aggressive ways. In today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy explore the ways that people (including us!) are assholes to themselves, both overtly and subconsciously. We talk about how we often speak to ourselves so differently than we would speak to a...

In today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about Cognitive Load. Cognitive load refers to the cognitive energy associated with planning and managing tasks.  We talk about our own experiences with cognitive load and offer some validation that the cognitive load of various roles can become quite heavy and overwhelming at times. Next, we discuss how we assess for cognitive load and attempt to di...

In today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. We discuss different topics that are brought up in the book such as the importance of clearly identifying the purpose of why we gather and being intentional about who we include in certain gatherings, where we host them, and how we show up as hosts.  As we review the book, we talk about some of our own gath...

In today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss nostalgia---the sentimentality for the past, typically for a particular period or place with positive associations. We explore the purpose, pros, and cons of nostalgia, share some of our own nostalgic memories, discuss how nostalgia gets triggered through music, fragrance, and mood states, talk about “retro” things, and discuss how nostalgia can b...

In episode 18, Lucy, Avery, and Jamie focus on change, specifically on how to cope with life transitions and changing circumstances in our lives (including both “positive” and “negative” change). We identify some common sources of change, share about our own experiences with and responses to change, and discuss resistance to change. We also explore our favorite strategies for coping with change. D...

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about gratitude! We discuss what gratitude entails, why it matters, and benefits of gratitude (physically, emotionally, and socially). We also talk about what gets in the way of gratitude, share personal examples of who and what we’re grateful for, talk about disingenuous gratitude, explore the influences of media and consumerism on gratitude, and discu...