In the Right Direction with Deb Elbaum

In important conversations, we want to show up as clear and direct. We know what we want to say, and we want to make sure it lands in the way we intend. Too often, though, we hold back in our communication because we're worried about what others will think. Communicating confidently takes more than words – it also takes being aware of and intentional around the tone you use and the energy you brin...

Having positive working relationships can make all the difference when it comes to being productive and enjoying work. This can be hard when starting to work with new people you don't yet know or when working with people in a new reporting structure. Working together effectively requires conversation, clarity, and talking about the  how of working together. When you understand what the other perso...

Challenges – especially those that happen unexpectedly – can knock us off center. The overwhelm, fear, and frustration we might experience can stress our body and keep our thoughts focused on what we're worried about, and we feel lost. Having a way to reorient ourselves is critical. Knowing how to redirect our thinking to what we do know, what we do want, and is clear helps us see through the fog...

How we show up is in our control – this includes our words, tone, and body language. When we use the phrase "I don't know" too much, it conveys an energy of not caring or not having an opinion. This keeps us stuck, and it can be frustrating for others. The truth is that there are always things we do know. When we choose a different answer instead of saying "I don't know," it can help us be more cl...

When we are frustrated with a direct report or colleague, it's easy to slip into judgement mode. In judgment mode, we make assumptions and stories about other people's thinking, feelings, and motives. This gets in the way of the relationship and the work. Dealing with a frustrating direct report or colleague requires curiosity. There are often things you don't know about what they understand, what...

Challenges can keep us stuck in our thinking. We might have trouble making a decision or taking action. We want to be moving forward and tackling the situation, although we're not sure exactly how to do that. Having a tool to help us return to effective thinking to see our way forward through a challenge can help. We can press the pause button to ask ourselves a powerful coaching question and then...

Sometimes we need to deliver challenging information to our bosses and senior leadership, and this can be daunting. How can you make sure to show up in the right way, so that you're seen as thoughtful, objective, and confident? Having a structured way to plan can help. Coaching yourself ahead of the conversation to think through what's in your control before, during, and after the meeting can help...

Do you find yourself saying Yes to things you wish you had said No to? For example, do you work later at night than you'd like or spend too much time doing things that drain you? If so, you might want to or need to set some more boundaries for yourself. Setting boundaries is a choice. The process starts by asking yourself some key coaching questions to understand what's OK and not OK for you. When...

Leadership development is about setting personal goals and working toward them, and it's is a necessary part of becoming an effective and successful leader. Yet, for some people, thinking about their professional growth is daunting and feels too hard. What if there were an easier way to embrace leadership development? Our attitude is something that's in our control. Bringing a certain mindset and...

We make decisions every day. While some are easy to make, other decisions weigh more heavily on our mind. The tougher decisions can hold us back in life and as leaders, especially when we're scared of making the wrong choice. Having a framework for making big decisions that honors what's most important to you and what you really want can help. When we anchor our decisions in our values, purpose, a...

Most leaders are excited to take time to think strategically, and yet, during a busy week, it can be hard to prioritize time to innovate. To think expansively, we have to be in the right head space, and give ourselves permission to dream and see a situation from different perspectives. Having a structured activity can help. Question storming is a process that invites curiosity, fun, and your most...

Giving others feedback is important, and it can be anxiety-producing. You might be unclear what your goal is with the conversation, what information to share, or how to share it. Because we can't read others' minds, you also might be making assumptions about the other person's motives or thinking. Preparation is the key to a successful feedback conversation. Having a structured framework to prepar...

Starting a career transition can feel overwhelming. You're not sure where to start or what to say when reaching out to people. When you're not sure where to focus and spend time, it's easy to lose momentum and motivation. Having a structured way to think about career transition can help. Understanding the pieces to put attention to, and deciding which ones you want to start with, can help you move...

As we work toward personal and professional goals, we often come up against obstacles and barriers. These can be things outside of our control, and they can also be worries or thoughts that get in the way of us making decisions or taking action. Having a way to manage and contain obstacles makes it easier to keep moving forward and focusing on things in our control, including the conversations we...

The interview is an important factor of whether or not you're offered a job, and so you want to make your interview count. Preparing for an interview can be stressful and people often spend too much time guessing what they think the interviewers want to hear. Shifting from guesswork to preparation and focusing on all of the things in your control can help build your confidence. Preparing and pract...

Delegating is important for both leaders and their team members. Having responsibility helps people grow, and giving others responsibility frees up a leader's time and energy so they can focus on big picture thinking and strategy. Yet, despite knowing the importance of delegating, many leaders know they can do more of it. Having a framework and structure to approach delegating can help us feel pre...

Both at work and in life, we always have opportunities to share our suggestions and ideas. Sometimes those conversations are easy, and sometimes we face resistance. When that happens, conversations get derailed and we spend a lot of energy convincing someone to see our point of view. To help make these conversations more productive, it helps to have a way to share your behind-the-scenes thinking....

It can be hard when you want to have more of a conversation, and the person you're with isn't talking. They might be naturally quiet, or their brain might be too stressed or overwhelmed to think clearly. In either case, there's a missed opportunity for sharing ideas. Having a way to invite someone else's participation in a conversation helps build trust and deepen the relationship. Sharing ideas w...

Complaining is a usual part of life. We complain to others; our colleagues complain to us; and we might have a running commentary of complaints as part of our self-talk. The trouble with complaining, though, is that it keeps our thinking stuck and can prevent us from knowing and working toward what we do want. Having a way to break the habit of complaining – for both ourselves and others – can hel...

When we live and work closely with others, we think we know exactly what they're going to say, how they're approaching something, and how they see the world. The truth, though, is that we don't. Making assumptions prevents curiosity and a deeper understanding of others. What if you had an easy and simple way to assume less and be curious more? You would not only gain a fuller understanding of thos...

Most of us go through our days feeling tense and worried. We worry about others, and we worry about ourselves. The trouble with so much worry is that it keeps our thinking stuck and limited, and prevents us from seeing possibility. And if we want different things in our life, we need to see what's possible. Having a brain-focusing tool to shift from worry to calm is a critical tool in our leadersh...

When we're working toward personal and professional goals that matter to us, it's helpful to pause periodically to reflect on where we've been putting our energies so that we can be sure we're moving in the right direction. Too often, though, we forget to or deprioritize taking time for self-reflection. Having an easy structure for self-reflection can help, especially when we have limited time. Ha...

Feedback is a helpful part of professional development; it illuminates our strengths and growth opportunities. Yet, receiving feedback – especially 360 feedback from our manager, peers, and direct reports – can be daunting and overwhelming. It can send our brain to a place of fear, when we really want to stay calm and curious. Having a plan to process 360 feedback can help. Bringing an intentional...

Meetings are an opportunity to show leadership presence, build relationships, collaborate, and align around action. Too often, though, people just show up to a meeting without any intention or preparation. That's disrespecting others' time and the meeting's value. Taking a few moments to prepare for meetings – especially important ones – is a must in this meeting-heavy world. Pre-thinking helps cl...

When we sense that the people we are talking with feel unclear or uncertain, we want to be supportive. We want them to feel clear, confident, and empowered. The way to to do this is not by telling; it's by asking questions. Helping others feel empowered in the moment takes an approach, mindset, and skill set. It takes being intentional around where you put your focus and the questions you ask. In...