Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast

This is going to be difficult to believe, but Jake, a fella who two weeks ago got so drunk that he passed out in the NYC subway system and woke up in a hospital, forgot to tell me he was going on vacation this week, and he didn't set up a time to pre-record. So, in place of a new episode of Idiots on Parade, please enjoy this spoken word piece involving my sister-in-law.

Where were the Idiots last week? That's addressed right off the bat in this Frankenstein's Monster of an episode that took THREE takes, thanks to Jake's less-than-stellar internet. Not only do we discuss Jake's hospitalization for alcoholism—no, he's not cured—we opine about the unfortunate people who work for the My Pillow Guy, Michael J. Lindell.  See, it's absolutely hil...

Jake disappeared. Seriously, I don't know where he is, and I hope he's OK. When he missed our original record time, I figured it was just Jake being Jake: hungover, irresponsible, dumb... But that was 11 hours ago, and now I'm wondering if he's alright. So, instead of a new episode, this week I'm bringing you a tale I wrote years ago about an experience I had in the Upper Penin...

This week, the Idiots open with a quick look at all the horrible rulings the Supreme Court has handed down recently. What can be done about them? Nothing. Maybe a quick trip in a time machine back to 2016, when people “just didn’t like” Hillary Clinton, so they didn’t vote for her, and thus Trump packed the court with a-holes. Good job, purist voters! Also: remember that lawsuit against the tobacc...

This week, the idiots focus on last week's biggest story, the Titan underwater submersible that went missing (imploded) with 5 souls aboard. What was your favorite part of that story? It's hard to decide, isn't it? Was it the CEO not caring about safety precautions? Was it the billionaire stepson using the tragedy to hit on women on OnlyFans? Was it the fact the Coast Guard (or Navy) h...

This week, the Idiots discuss the hilarious fact that Spotify got taken by two of the useless dummies on the planet, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. For reasons no one understands, Spotify paid those two idiots $20 million to create... I don't know, content? A podcast? Spotify paid them $20 million to bomb on their platform, and now the royal (or once royal) couple is walking. Why do people wi...

The idiots recorded this one a few days early, because Jake was taking off for vacation, but... We did wake up Friday morning to discover Trump had been indicted. Again. Liberals cheered, conservatives shook their fists. Not much information was readily available, so we made what fun we could. Also: Rudy Giuliani is taking a poor approach to the lawsuit against him via his old assistant. Why? Tune...

This week, the Idiots celebrate the release of 10,000 photos from Hunter Biden's laptop to the public. Drugs, women, more drugs, more women... they're amazing. What kind of idiot documents this kind of lifestyle? I mean, Hunter Biden does, and God bless him for it. Also: Really dumb people think that drag queens and the Catholic Church are similar, Marjorie Taylor Green and Lauren Boebert...

Conservatives: they fear change, and what they fear, they attack. Now that Bud Light has faded into the background, the dumbest of the dumb are outraged because Target sold a specialty bathing suit. Should that matter to anyone? No. Does it matter with people who have too much time on their hands? Yes. You know what else is interesting about conservatives? They're so into their Dear Leader, th...

This week, the Idiots discuss the amazingly dangerous, near-catastrophic car chase that involved multiple paparazzi, and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. You know, the one that was a complete lie. (Shocking, that they would lie about something.) Also: Lauren Bobert said that women in rough marriages needed more Jesus in their life. Of course, that hasn't stopped her from divorcing her husband....

This week, the Idiots discuss Scott Baio's goodbye to California: twin middle fingers in the air... but did he do so before selling his house? Not the brightest move. Marilyn Manson is discussed, as a judge just threw out his case against Evan Rachel Wood, and Mr. Beast continues to do great things for people... and receive flack for it from jealous losers. Marjorie Taylor Green said something...

This week, the Idiots cover the biggest news story of all time, ever: The Coronation of King Charles... Seriously? This was news? Why? Who cares about a King? CNN, apparently. Those idiots made it every story on their front page on Saturday, May 6th. Mixed in with the coronation nonsense is a smattering of Bud Light controversy, which is always fun. Also in this episode: horrific piece of human ga...

What a time to be alive... this week, the Idiots discuss the (fake, generated) controversy over Aubrey Plaza's pretty funny Wood Milk campaign. Dumb people are upset/disappointed, but God it must be nice to have so much time on your hands to be in such a position. Following that, a segue into the ongoing nonsense regarding Bud Light, bigots, and Dylan Mulvaney. What should Anheuser-Busch do? J...

This week, the idiots open with the biggest news story of all time: Fyre Fest 2.0! Billy McFarland is out of jail and is ready to organize another music festival. Or, considering the first one never happened, a music festival. Hopefully, all the same rich kids fall for the scam. Next up, a small story that wasn't on very many radars: Fox News lied about election 2020 and paid $787,500,000 to k...

This week, the Idiots discuss a clickbait headline involving Dominion vs. Fox News. The trial has been pushed back! Will justice ever be served? Next up: Gamer and probable incel Jack Teixeira leaked Pentagon secrets to a gamer forum. Nothing like this has ever happened before! Wait, what? It happens all the time? Oh. Well then. Anyway, the Idiots make fun of the idea that there could be a leader...

So much news, so little time... This week, the Idiots discuss a new wrinkle in the Trump indictment: apparently, if he goes to jail—which he won't—the Secret Service would have to be in prison with him. Continuing... Trans beer is all the rage, what with Kid Rock (and other low IQ rednecks) going on a rampage after Bud Light showed their rainbow colors. People are still angry about trans bathr...

This week, the Idiots discuss the Trump indictment: why are liberals celebrating? Why are conservatives such hypocrites? This, plus tornados in Iowa, the Iowa Women's Basketball tournament, and drag queen shows in TN.

This week, the Idiots discuss everyone's favorite anti-semite, Kanye West! Except, now he likes Jewish people. He said so himself. Tune in and giggle.

This week, the Idiots discuss nathan's recent trip to California. What did he see there? Homeless people as far as the eye can see. Mental illness, addiction... these are the root causes of rampant homelessness, not high rent. Following that, they discuss Walmart shutting down stores in Portland, Oregon. Should district attorneys announce they won't prosecute certain crimes? (Hint: yes.) F...

Oh, Tennessee... you just can't stop being an embarrassment, can you? All the hate for lgbtq folk, and yet, hypocrisy of the highest order. That, and Trump is losing steam.

Tennessee is banning (or has already banned) Drag Queen Story Hour in order to protect kids. But oops, it really doesn't hurt kids, and it turns out governor Bill Lee liked to play dress up at one time. But don't compare the two situations, because when he does it, it's "funny;" when a drag queen does it, it's "OMG, PERVERTED!" Also: Trump bombed at CPAC, and hippos are the world's biggest menace.

This week, the Idiots mock the Democrats biggest public relations disaster in years, the "Defund the Police" movement. They also mock frivolous lawsuits, a new diversity hire gone wrong, and child labor in 3rd World Alabama.

If someone runs for president, and no one cares, are they really running for president? That's the question being asked by everyone as Nikki Haley gears up to take on Donald Trump. Also: Fox News anchors didn't believe the 2020 election lies, but they helped spread them. Why? Because $$$ is more important than information.

This week, the Idiots discuss the Super Bowl. Specifically, the fact that both dummies both know who Jesus is now. Thanks advertising!

This week, the Idiots discuss the Chinese weather balloon, as well as Mr. Beast and the ongoing OMG BORDER CRISIS.