I Said I Liked It

It sounds like a weird trope, but it's not. It combines two of my favorite things, eavesdropping and emotional damage. I'm tired, again, always, forever. Alph got hit by a horrible scooter man. I have emotions, but only at the saddest of paintings. I had to work on the 4th of July (observed). I hate being outdoors and people who riff too hard on a bass. I love Selling Sunset (not a new revelation)...

Wow, great, it's a shorter show! Sorry, or you're welcome. But I gotta find a new job and a dog sibling for Alph, and so I'm doing that thing from the Bible, I think? I dunno, again raised Catholic and Catholic people don't read the Bible. But it's about splitting the baby in half. And as Tracy Morgan says in 30 Rock, "And I will take the top half, for that is the part wit...

Hiii I forgot to read anything for this week's episode! How? Was I abducted? Maybe!  So this episode is all random romance book recommendations. They really were randomly picked, but I did heavily screen them because my mom listens to this show. Supportive parents are a blessing 🙏 Anyway, I'll let you figure out what the books are. I'm tired. Thanks to our sponsors: Fake Prison Boyfri...

I forgot to warn for spoilers for the main book, just FYI. Sometimes you take a long, hard look at your life and realize you're being too nice, at least in the past two weeks. Probably because you're too tired from allergies and living a life of lower middle-class luxury, aka you've been nodding off on your most expensive piece of furniture, which to most people would be mid-priced. Anyway, nothin...

Did you not realize that by me making 10 episodes of this show, I fulfilled the prophecy foretold at the advent of my birth? Yeah, I finally get the two gay boyfriends I always wanted, and a Sea-Doo. My prophecy was sponsored by a personal watercraft and pontoon boat lobbyist. I just hope my next prophecy is sponsored by BMX I need a bike with front AND back pegs for my two platonic gay boyfriends...

I don't wanna dieeeeeeeee I just wanna ride my mo-tor-cy-cle, it's the G.I. Joe PSA one, not the Arlo Guthrie one. Motorcycle Club Romance books with too much face touching and eye contact make me uncomfortable, but I'll be fine, I'm gonna power thru this, because I love these two books. I'm pro-cat fight, pro-MC, pro-forehead botox, pro-goth code switching, anti-too much cheese, anti-hogging the...

Am I in love with Gary, the landlord? Is Gary the landlord my dream man? There was A LOT of hissing and crying that had to get edited out of this episode. I permitted myself to be more totalitarian than usual in honor of reaching womanhood, aka turning 35. It's MESSY GUT PUNCH ROMANCE BOOKS I love emotional torture, hissing, and hate Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka. 4 messy gut punch romance book rec...

HELLO, 911? HELP, I'VE BEEN TRICKED. This episode's romance books all feature main characters I would hate to sit next to at a dinner party! They'd just keep saying euphemistic shit to me like "Wow, it's so great you don't care what anyone thinks about you, you're such a free spirit."  You know what, I'm gonna sneak out the back door and I'm taking my French torte with me.  Thank you to our sponso...

Alph ate something mysterious, and I'm waiting to see if he barfs everywhere. Happy Spring and End of the First Mercury in Retrograde for 2026!  I'm tired, chipper, might lose my job, and wearing a bald cap for my brother in arms, Stone Cold Steve Austin. 3:16 only comes once a year, but I'm keeping the spirit alive.  This episode is all about rad Historical Romance Heroines 💅 and the doofus men...

Listen, I'm tired. Someone tried to steal my puppets, I ASSUME. Why else would someone have tried to break into my apartment? Thou shalt not covet puppet neighbors or whatever. This week is about two weird books (normal books) that make me feel weird, but I still like a lot. If that's not enough of an endorsement, I don't know what to tell you Happy almost Stone Cold Steve Austin Day, and enjoy yo...

SCI-FI ROMANCE 24/7 BABYYYY BEAM ME UP BEFORE I FREAK OUT. A Sinéad O'Connor speed boat hijacking meditation right over an incel and straight into space. A plea to read romance, the cashing in of some barely touched emotional manipulation, Pool Divorces, Stop at Stop Signs, Hot Bread from Outback. C'mon, put on your hair shirt, it's Lent Alien Tyrant - Ursa Dax Strange Love - Ann Aguirre

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. If you were planning on rekindling a relationship while watching the new Wuthering Heights movie, I want you to think about racism and double coffins. They're mutually exclusive for Wuthering Heights. And in this corner, she's The Poorest, The Most Obscure, The Plainest, and The Littlest, coming in at probably like 80 Victorian pounds and a backbone of steel - GIVE...

This is a schadenfreude-forward episode! Beautiful. Special. Jackpot MASH. MASH Jackpot. My all-star main book for this episode, 'Replacing My Ex' by Jordan Silver, is just as good as Jane Eyre. The other featured book is a perfect read if you hate yourself and love being cheated on, but don't worry, it doesn't make you choose between the two! You get two horrible choices for the price of one. Har...

I probably say 1997 a hundred times. I'm bad at counting but an optimistic guesser. Happy Seasonal Depression! Christmas is OVER. NYE is OVER. It might be a good time to read some romance novels. Dip a sad, cold lil toe into the mawkish, bathetic life of Noreen Kensington in The Patient Nurse. Diana Palmer is just LUCKY that I've read and own so many of her books...like so many. Call 911. I feel b...