Patricia J. Rullo

I Just Want My Life Back

Society EN ↓ 18 episodes

Raw thoughts from someone grieving. Grief is messy, confusing, and deeply personal. In this short-form audio journal podcast, I share thoughts, memories, and moments from my own journey after losing my spouse. No advice, no answers — just honest reflections for anyone trying to navigate life when it feels like it has slipped away.

Author

Patricia J. Rullo

Category

Society

Podcast website

www.spreaker.com

Latest episode

Jul 5, 2026

Where to listen?

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Episodes

Grief Brain: Episode 18 05.07.2026

Grief doesn’t just affect the heart—it changes the brain. If you’ve felt forgetful, distracted, or mentally foggy after losing a spouse or partner, you’re not alone. What many call “grief brain” is a real, natural response to profound loss—not a sign that something is wrong 🎧 Listen now and give yourself permission to heal—one moment at a time. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journa...

What the Dumpster Couldn't Take: Episode 17 03.06.2026

After renting and filling a 20-foot dumpster by myself, I discovered that the physical labor was only part of the challenge. The real work was deciding what to do with decades of belongings left behind by my husband, his parents, my parents, and even pieces of my own past. In this episode, I explore the unexpected emotional weight of sorting through the possessions of loved ones who are gone, the...

Grocery Shopping Episode 16 28.04.2026

Shopping for one is an experience filled with bittersweet memories. As I wander through the aisles, it feels like I'm tracing the footsteps of someone who once enjoyed this routine. Now it's all mine, and I don't much care for it. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the Internati...

Moving at the Pace of YOU: Finding Your Rhythm When ADHD Was Part of Your Life: Episode 15 24.03.2026

Living in someone else’s ADHD-driven rhythm for years can leave a surprising mark on your body, mind, and emotions. What happens when that pace disappears? I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet deeply connected in spirit: both are about t...

Cutting Through the Work and Silence: Episode 14 23.02.2026

Grief isn’t just emotional — it’s physical and mental. From the tasks they used to handle, to the conversations that are now missing, we explore the hidden labor of loss and the unexpected strength it can reveal. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book...

When "We" Becomes "I" Episode 13 27.01.2026

Losing your person doesn’t just break your heart—it can dismantle who you thought you were. This episode explores the quiet identity collapse that follows and the slow, gentle becoming that comes after. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, y...

Standing Whole Again - A New Year's Eve Decision Episode 12 31.12.2025

This year, grief can walk beside you — But it does not get to carry you, and you do not have to carry it into the new year. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet deeply connected in spirit: both are about truth-telling, expression, and fi...

Identity Under Reconstruction Episode 11 28.12.2025

Sadness isn’t simple—and neither is grief. This episode unpacks how layered emotions inside sadness can lead to an identity crash, and what happens when the old version of you no longer fits. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet deeply c...

When Your Co-Regulator is Gone Episode 10 13.12.2025

Grief isn’t just emotional — it’s physical. Losing a spouse disrupts the balance your nervous system relied on. In this episode, I discover co-regulation and how I’m learning to live with his absence. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet...

The Wishbone Episode 9 02.12.2025

Thanksgiving alone - Grief isn’t something I want to decorate over. In some twisted way, I want to allow myself to feel the sting of the empty chair, the silence in the room, the absence of a familiar laugh. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awar...

My Beef with Grief Episode 8 20.11.2025

Maybe grief comes back because healing happens in layers, not moments. Because the heart can only process so much at a time? Because certain truths take longer to absorb? Because some bonds leave echoes that don’t fade on command? I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the Internati...

The First Fire Episode 7 14.11.2025

The scent of smoke, the crackle of wood, the warmth of a first woodstove fire—moments that were once shared now feel heavy with memory. Today I reflect on loss, love, and keeping the hearth alive alone. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, y...

The Garage: A Museum of Memories Episode 6 09.11.2025

His garage was not just a storage space; it was a museum of memories, each item telling a story, just waiting to be unearthed. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet deeply connected in spirit: both are about truth-telling, expression, and...

Welcome to Paradise Episode 5 05.11.2025

Phantom smells are strange. They feel real, vivid, almost tangible. And yet, they come entirely from memory, from emotion, from the part of your brain that holds people and moments you can’t let go of. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, ye...

Grief Doesn't Knock Episode 4 03.11.2025

I’ve come to see grief as an uninvited guest—an unpredictable intruder who bursts into your life without warning. It fills your space with its heavy presence, only to vanish just as suddenly as it arrived. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards...

Fall Back Episode 3 02.11.2025

The time change can carry a lot of emotional weight for someone grieving, especially when everything else already feels off balance. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the International Firebird Book Awards, yet deeply connected in spirit: both are about truth-telling, expressio...

Forecast: Rain Episode 2 02.11.2025

One of the striking things about grief is that you often feel more empathy for the discomfort of others than you do for your own needs, especially when people say things that miss the mark. Empathy is complex and rough for everyone. I Just Want My Life Back is my personal audio journal — small, quiet reflections from a life reshaped by loss. It’s separate from my professional work with the Interna...

Raw Thoughts From Someone Grieving Inaugural Episode 02.11.2025

Podcast debut. Through uninvited tears, I candidly share the profound and intimate thoughts that have emerged from my journey following the heartbreaking loss of my spouse. I feel an urge to open up and connect with others through this podcast format, as I believe that sharing my experiences can foster understanding, empathy, and perhaps even healing for those walking a similar path. I Just Want M...

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