I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

If you thought that a movie filmed in 12 days on one beach with an undisclosed (probably shoestring) budget would be a big mistake, we're here to tell you that you're absolutely right. Flawed from the sand up, this movie posits questions it never bothers to answer, tries to get us invested in a love triangle with three of the most unlikeable humans known to man, and at the end of the day, REFUSES...

It's the wedding of the century, and everyone is invited, including frogs, locusts, assorted other Biblical plagues...oh, and Kevin. Toni and Fangs tying the knot is supposed to unite Riverdale, but instead it makes Veronica realize how sad and alone she is and distracts the rest of the gang from keeping an eye on Percival, who ends up murdering all the first-born children in Riverdale. Whoops. Wh...

This 2022 horror flick is NOT for the faint of heart (RIP Howard) but the scares have nothing to do with the bloody murders, gator attacks or eyeball kebabs and EVERYTHING TO DO with the aggressive hair brushing, the non-consensual spooning, and all that elderly nudity. This movie will burn your retinas and make your skin crawl, so if that doesn't sound like a good time, just listen to our recap!...

As a post-Father's Day treat, we bring you the mother of all daddy issues movies! This thing is a train wreck from start to finish -- the dubbing, Nurse 3D's acting, the absolutely bonkers costume design, and the thinnest of plots. Another one that has to be seen (and heard) to be believed...please do yourself a favor and check this one out so you can laugh along with us!   Don’t forget to rate an...

Musical episode? What musical episode? If you hate Riverdalians bursting into song as much as we do, you'll be pleasantly surprised with the Season 6 version of one because there were barely any musical numbers at all. Instead, we get childish curses gone awry, a worker's union sing-a-long, and an unsatisfying attempt at closure on all this TBK business. But we survived, which is more than we can...

We hope you enjoyed National Doughnut Day on June 3rd because after you watch this movie/listen to our recap, you'll probably never want to eat another doughnut again. While we did find this movie to be a fun and creative concept, we were definitely caught off guard by the gratuitous farting and graphic deaths that resulted from said farting. However, we were NOT surprised by the mediocre acting,...

Us: Omg this episode of Riverdale was SO BORING. Also us: *talks about this episode of Riverdale for almost an hour* Okay, so we underestimated just how much we'd have to say about Anthony being a baby Serpent, Percival's seemingly endless supply of mind tricks, and all the asinine batshittery that has been promised to us in the upcoming musical episode. If you didn't watch this episode yet, just...

Welcome to the episode that almost ended our podcast! We've never been so divided about a movie we've covered, and we came ready to fight about it. In case you've never heard of it, Rubber is a painfully indie movie about a homicidal car tire and the "studio audience" who watches the action unfold through binoculars in the desert. If that sounds weird, it honestly doesn't even scratch the surface....

This episode is a classic example of Riverdale's biggest problem -- not knowing when to quit. Dear Riverdale, WE ARE TIRED of the serial killer gene nonsense (it's not even a real thing universally recognized by science); WE ARE TIRED of new characters with weird/sketchy vibes; WE ARE TIRED of ghosts interfering with plans to move Pop's before Percival can bulldoze it. Okay, that last one is new,...

Welcome to yet another episode of Riverdale we hated (and watched anyway)! Were you disturbed by the weird threesome energy of that VeBArchie scene? Did you roll your eyes at the shameless retconning of Hal Cooper into an exaggerated caricature of what a serial killer would be like as a dad? And are you fed up with that spiteful old cow, Nana Rose? Well, you have friends here, because we said yes...

Normally, we stan a petty queen, but Percival takes his pestering to a whole new level in this week's episode of Riverdale by making it his mission to recover overdue library books. If we're being honest, we'd rather be charged with misdemeanor theft than be subjected to eczema bordering on leprosy, swampy ghosts of child predators past, or developing the venomous characteristics of a black widow...

We cannot overstate our adoration of this movie trilogy. It truly has everything we look for in a hate-watch: terrible dialogue, confusing attempts at a plot, enormous holes in the fabric of the story, and deeply flawed main characters who we are somehow supposed to root for. Just like its predecessor, 365 Days: This Day hits every single mark, and also THAT PLOT TWIST, Y'ALL!? The wild ride conti...

Typically, we love the trope of "weird weather acting as a plot device," but this character-driven episode of Riverdale sadly misses the mark. Even though we finally get to address some of the forgotten plot points of the season, we're SO BORED by the predictability and repetitive nonsense that Riverdale is unfortunately becoming known for. With an impending apocalypse, our burning question is...d...

If we were chronokinetic, we would go back in time and stop this atrocious season of Riverdale from happening. From ever evolving superpowers to weird religious undertones, these two episodes are everything we hate, saved from being a total waste of time only by KJ Apa's abs. Apparently, the apocalypse is coming to Riverdale, but maybe not soon enough. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us...

Take the money and run...is NOT what Jason Segel does in this movie. And if he had, he would have saved us all a lot of time. Maybe he couldn't run in those boots that were significant for some reason that is never fully explained? Or maybe he was on some kind of personal moral quest that would have made more sense if it had ever been revealed to us? This movie provides ZERO answers, and we have a...

This week, we're actually in total agreement with Percival Pickens' plan to put an end to gang violence in Riverdale which either means we've officially gone crazy OR Percival's mind control powers work long distance. But don't worry, we still have plenty of complaints about Abigail's basket of cyanide scones, the deeply toxic relationship that is Veggie, and the return of Julien... Don’t forget t...

Here we go again, folks! It's time for Archie to rally "The Town" to save Riverdale for some inexplicable reason. But this is what we're doing, so we're here to help you break down Percival's clearly nefarious motivations, the dubious nature of the gang's  superpowers, the waste of time that is and has always been the Blossoms, and why opening a casino in a town historically plagued by greed, corr...

Let's be honest, we've all thought to ourselves at some point, "Hey. You know what would fix this toxic relationship? Polygamy. And if that doesn't work, there's always murder." No? Just this movie? Deep Water, starring Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, is 75% a very explicit How-NOT-To guide on navigating relationships and 25% a snail documentary, and if that doesn't convince you to check out this ep...

Keeping up with Riverdale this season feels like a full-time job. Episode 7 lays A LOT of groundwork, and given what we've seen so far, things could literally go ANYWHERE at this point. For now, we're focused on processing Hiram's alleged death, figuring out what the hell Nana Rose and Abigail are up to, and trying to predict exactly what the HELL is going on with TBK. (Special thanks to Lisa's de...

Ready or not -- Riverdale is back! In this aptly titled episode, some characters develop supernatural abilities, some characters die (maybe??), and some characters just aren't themselves anymore if ya know what we mean. We're very nervous about where the rest of Season 6 is going at this point but let's find out together! Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:  Twitter: @ih8itletswatch...

The Woman in the Window is one of five movies nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award in 2022...but does it deserve that title? We compare the movie to the book and discuss what worked and what didn't and tackle the larger question of whether or not the Rear Window genre of thriller movies is played out. It's a very reasonable 100 minutes (or 90 minutes, if you're Dawn), so check this one out and l...

If you are one of the millions who endured this 135-minute assault on eyes, ears and quality of life, we see you and we salute you. And we also want to remind you that therapy exists and can help you. (And if that doesn't work, there's always alcohol.) Julia Fox will tell you that she was the muse for this obscenely terrible movie, but we're pretty sure the muse was actually a flaming bag of crap....

We like to think of Canada as a friendly and peaceful country, but that is NOT the experience of this week's movie, Good Neighbours. There's cat murder, human murder and just general murder of hope and faith in humanity, so we actually don't recommend watching this one for a good time. Or any kind of time, really. But if you want to know all the gruesome details without putting yourself through th...

We're ending our month of love with a BANG. Like...a LOT of banging. We watched 365 Days, the occasionally sexy but deeply troubled cousin of Fifty Shades of Grey, and IT. IS. WILD. This movie has it all: aggressive blow jobs, a dangerous mobster with a heart of gold (or at least a penis of gold), and somehow more than one parallel to classic Disney movies. We already can't wait for Part 2 (rumore...

This is it, everyone -- the best movie we've done so far. Our month of timeless love stories continues with Killer Sofa. You're in for a WILD ride that includes occult/voodoo rituals, deeply disturbing masturbation scenes and an impressively agile murderous recliner. If you have not watched this movie yet, it is a MUST SEE.   Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:  Twitter: @ih8itletswa...