I Am The Cute One

We got married in a fever, Cuties, and we did so with Kelli Williams (@laguna_biotch) of Beyond the Blinds by covering the (non) Oscar-sweeping Leighton Meester film, Country Strong. While not the darkest movie the Cute Ones have ever covered, the trio do go to low places (much like Leighton’s friends in this movie!) They also discuss the magic of Gwyneth, Donny’s dreams of a lavender wedding, and...

Buckle up, Cuties, because you’re about to be hit with a lot of information today - mostly about this season of The Traitors, but also about the birthdays in Donny’s family. Also this week, Chelsea saw The Substance, Donny saw Redwood on Broadway, and Southwest Airlines got rid of their checked bags. (The Legally Blonde prequel was not announced this week.) If you’re excited, feel free to shit you...

The episode you’ve been waiting for is finally here, Cuties! Ex-husband to the stars, Joan Crawford stan, and co-host of The Official Marvel Podcast, Quin Lamar (@thequinlamar), is BACK and ready to give every detail… about Joan Crawford and the cult classic, Mommie Dearest. Besides being their most educational episode, the Cuties also get into their mommy (and daddy) issues, Donny’s dreams of cle...

Donny is trying to get his IBS under control as Chelsea takes care of baby finches this week. Besides that, they tear apart the horrible Powerpuff Girls leaked trailer, get giddy over Broadway news, and vent about Armie Hammer being a terrible person. Also, the Cute Ones prepare their cosplay for BravoCon (they’ll never be attending - unless they’re asked, of course). WICKED FOREVER (since the Osc...

It’s Donny Appreciation Month (for 5 weeks) and while Donny’s self esteem refuses to come down, Noor joins the Cute Ones this week to try her best to take him down a few pegs. While there, the trio recap one of Donny's favorite 2004 films, “Closer,” a wonderful film about terrible people. They discuss how the ER brings people together, the meanest thing you can say to someone, and which TV theme s...

Chelsea is logged on for the whole recording this week, so Donny finally gets to discuss the rental house he found for his 40th birthday weekend: a castle with an escape room in the walls. And Chelsea gets to discuss a one woman TikTok telenovela and which homeroom she’d be in. Then, Phillip Solomon (@psolomon12) of “Deal or No Deal Island” join the Cute Ones to discuss his time on the show and ho...

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Chelsea is off her death bed, but her computer… is not. (Subscribe to our Patreon!) So while her parents learn how to live together and Chelsea figures out how to record this episode, Donny is working on breathing through his nose and trying to find a theme restaurant for his birthday celebration. Upon her return, Donny and Chelsea are joined by “Oh Mary” understudy, Hannah Solow (@babymcgoo). The...

Bunny Boiler Month cock-a-doodly continues, with the Cute Ones breaking down Stephen King’s “Misery.” While doing so, they discuss which celebrities they’d chain to a bed, pigs as pets, Donny’s phantom limb syndrome from a past life, and Chelsea’s smoking past from… this life (ew).  For AD FREE EPISODES, as well as unedited audio and video, and bonus episodes, subscribe to our Patreon!  If today's...

The Cute Ones Are sick this week, so Donny is celebrating Valentine’s Day solo! With the floor fully his, he discusses his next five tattoos, the death of the Duo Lingo owl, TWO Broadway shows, the Harlem series finale, and sleeping on the floor! Also, Chelsea may be gone, but she’s never forgotten, so her most current rabbit holes are discussed. For AD FREE EPISODES, as well as unedited audio and...

Donny and Chelsea (who are pros at terrorizing someone for days at a time) are joined by Janine (@retr0avocado) to recap the highly unhinged "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days." Well - she thought. Instead, she is filled with horror as Donny and Chelsea tell tale after tale of bad dates, movie theater etiquette, and chasing away boys with wild behavior. But somehow, they don't scare Janine away and the...

The prank war continues in Chelsea's household as Donny can't wait to talk to his therapist about his Hinge dates (HE LOVES HINGE - Oprah voice). And then, owner of thebummershop.com (@thebummershop), Madison Sinclair, joins the Cute Ones to discuss the Grammys and five year old news stories about bisexual representation in the bird community. And Alexander *******, if you're listening to this epi...

It’s Bunny Boiler Month! To kick to kick it off, Donny and Chelsea are discussing 2009’s erotic thriller, “Obsessed.” They discuss Grammy winner, Beyonce’s… acting, as well as pussies barking, Donny’s self awareness of his sad and pathetic attempts to pick up men, harassment training, and being lucky. Also, will Chelsea be an insufferable twat or problematic with Rob Schneider this week? Listen to...

The Cute Ones were not at a place of LOL this week, but they tried their best to giggle their way through their weeks (including vet visits, communion, and as always - Big Brother Express). They do their best (or worst) Christopher Walken impressions and discuss old people technology, the night shifts of Epcot Center employees, and magazine covers. Also, if Chelsea's week wasn't bad enough - she f...

Roger Ebert is dead, and the Cute Ones do their best to apply for his job. But Donny doesn’t need Rog’s job to talk poorly about this week’s movie, “The One I Love” (Don’t worry - he hasn’t heard of it, either.) Along the way, they discuss Chelsea’s ability to be the final girl, guest books in vacation homes, cuckolding, and ugly people on OKCupid. How’s that for predictabilality?  Cuties, we want...

“I Am The Cute One” may not be a fully safe space, but it’s safe for like-minded individuals, so come escape with these two humble Cute Ones as they discuss Chelsea’s flu treatment, Donny’s future tattoo and his sister’s big news… and Travis Kelce’s involvement. They also dabble in Onyx Storm, TikTokers confessing their biggest secrets, and movies that Donny’s been watching. Kiernan Shipka Hive fo...

Walk in a zig zag pattern, Cuties! Chelsea’s daughters may not be watching “The Fox and the Hound,” but at least the Cute Ones are not covering a movie they’ve already covered (…yet. It’s bound to happen. Brace yourself for the day.) This week, they’re watching “Phonebooth,” the blue-tinted “Se7en” ripoff that asks the question, “If you could punish anyone in the world for their sins, why would it...

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This week, Donny and Chelsea reminisce about childhood cults, the shining star that is Bridgette Wilson, and prank wars; as well as cover a “nothing movie” that is made just for them - “The Wedding Planner.” In doing so, Chelsea signs up to be Donny’s Cyrano and he looks for NYC extracurricular activities. Cuties, did you know that Roger Ebert went on a date with Oprah? Our hearts are with our LA...

Donny and Chelsea’s break from each other is finally over as their first TGIF of the year has arrived! And to celebrate, the Cute Ones are wearing their podcast finest: Khloe Kardashian onesies and Delish Dish cosplay. Besides discussing Wicked (as always), they rant about Paige and Craig’s breakup and the Golden Globes. Also, Chelsea has a new favorite movie of 2025 (2014, actually) and Donny has...

What better day to celebrate a man feeling entitled to something than January 6? Enter Chelsea and Donny to cover the Ryan Reynolds holiday flop, “Just Friends.” While the Cute Ones disagree on who the biggest loser in the movie is, they agree on the importance of gatekeeping for no reason, setting their microwaves on fire, and what content a they’ll create if Donny has MS. Also, Chelsea goes on a...

The Cute Ones are back for part 2 of the Cutie’s Choice Awards, which includes the Patreon-selected “Cutie of the Year!” For AD FREE EPISODES, as well as unedited audio and video, and bonus episodes, subscribe to our Patreon!  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! We’re...

Before there was Liza Minnelli singing “Single Ladies,” before there was Che Diaz; there was the most perfect ending to “Sex and the City.” Listen to Donny and Chelsea cover the film that should have been the last time we saw our girls - but only on Patreon! That’s right, Cuties - for the first time ever, the Cute Ones are dropping a Patreon exclusive movie recap. They figured instead of hitting e...

The Cute Ones are here to wrap up 2024 by covering their favorites of the year, including movies, songs, TV shows, best worst haircut; and because it IS Chelsea and Donny we’re talking about… their favorite moments about them, such as “Best Vocal Stims” and “Best Unearthed Donny Lore.” And to end Part I of the Cutie’s Choice Awards, the duo award their Top 5 Hots and Nots. For AD FREE EPISODES, as...

While Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon couldn’t stand each other while filming “Four Christmases,” Donny and Chelsea have never got along more than while talking about. Besides the movie, the Cute Ones discuss roleplay, safe words, picking up women (poorly), and their biggest pet peeves. Also, buckle up, Cuties, because Chelsea’s past with the NAACP is brought up. For AD FREE EPISODES, as well a...