How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.

On today’s show I am interviewing online child safety expert and founder of Not My Kid, Jen Hoey. Jen has personal experience of how vulnerable our children can be online so just a word of warning that this episode might not be appropriate for any little ears that may be listening. You might want to put your ear buds in as we discuss online predators and themes around sex education and adult conte...

How can we can teach our children about consent and bodily autonomy? How we can teach our children that they are in control of their own bodies and also how to be respectful of other people’s boundaries? It’s never too young to start teaching our kids about consent. From the time our children are young babies we can start laying the foundations of helping our children to be aware of themselves and...

So much parenting advice centres on our children. What we should do or say to make things go more smoothly, tools we can employ to get our kids cooperating or behaving in a way that will make life easier for us. In this episode I talk about a much overlooked parenting tool - taking care of ourselves. By focusing on ourselves, noticing what we need and finding ways to meet our needs, we can transfo...

Hands up who has a battle on their hands when it comes to ending screen time? Do you avoid setting limits on screens because you don't want to deal with the inevitable meltdown? Do you wish your child could switch off without a massive fight? In this episode I share some gentle ways to turn screen time conflicts into a time of connection. So how can you turn this time of conflict into a time of co...

I’m very excited because today I am sharing with you my magic formula for overcoming parenting standoffs using laughter and play. Specifically I’m going to be looking at teeth brushing, but this applies to many different power struggles we have with our kids. I’ll help you understand what is going on with the power struggle dynamic, what emotions are behind it and what you can do about it. This is...

It can be upsetting to deal with a child who pushes you away or prefers one parent over another.  Maybe your child has a meltdown when it's their Dad's turn to put them to bed so you end up doing bedtime every night just to keep the peace. Or your child is in great form all day at school or childcare but their behaviour becomes unmanageable as soon as you walk through the door. Perhaps you ar...

Parenting stress is so normal in our society. And then on top of that we tell ourselves “If only I do more, be more patient, try harder, be a better parent”. The truth is that parenting is under-valued and under-supported. We are so often parenting within small nuclear families instead of the supportive communities we need to meet our needs and thrive. In this bonus episode taken from a Facebook L...

This week I am talking about all things bedtime and sleep. Would you like bedtime to run more smoothly without battling to get PJs on? Maybe you want to support your child to fall asleep more easily or without you right there in the room? Or you are looking for gentle ways to support your child to sleep all night in their own bed? In this episode I talk about what children need to sleep well and h...

What expectations should we have of our kids? Should a 4 year old be able to tidy up themselves after an activity? Should a 10 year old be able to shower and get dressed by themselves? Should your 8 year old know better than to lie? Is it helpful to have expectations at all? This week I talk about why high expectations aren't that helpful in parenting and what you can do instead! A child may be ph...

Maybe it hasn't happened yet and you want to be prepared, or maybe your child has started saying "I hate myself" or similar. It is heart-breaking for us as parents to see our children struggle. We want to help them, we want them to see through our eyes how wonderful they are. But often our own story gets caught up in our responses and we struggle to respond in helpful ways, or we simply have no id...

In this week’s episode I am joined by Kathryn McCabe, social ecologist and founder and director of the Change Agency . Kathryn is passionate about creating change at a systems level and in this conversation we look at how we can change our society for the better through parenting. I invite you to check out Kathryn’s website and Facebook page . We started this conversation in a workshop we jointly...

Do board games with your child end in arguments and frustration?  Is everything a race to see is first and best?  Is there a lot of competition between siblings and huge upset when someone gets more than the other? Parents often ask me - is it better to teach my child to lose or should home be a safe haven where they always get to be the winner?  Well, the answer is a bit of both an...

Today I’m going to talk about a parenting tool you can use in as little as 10 minutes. It builds connection. It brings fun. It’s practically guaranteed to bring laughter. It is the glue of your relationship with your kids. It helps with sibling rivalry, builds cooperation and helps kids overcome fears. It builds their confidence, self-control and emotional regulation. All this in as little as 10 m...

In this week’s episode I talk about whether we should make our children say sorry, please, thank you or excuse me. We want our kids to grow up to be polite, considerate and respectful to others We are brought up in a society that expects children to be well behaved, that judges parents (or parents feel judged) if their kids aren’t polite. Children learn from what we do. So if we are polite, thank...

Dealing with a grumpy child after school can be hard work. You want to connect with them after being away from them for several hours, you want to find out how their day has gone, but instead you are met with grumpiness, aggression or meltdowns. In this week's episode I talk about why our children struggle so much after school or childcare and what you can do to support them. It is so important to...

Ever wondered how you can have more peaceful, playful mornings - without all the tantrums about getting dressed, brushing teeth and eating breakfast? In this bonus episode from a Facebook Live I did this week for the Hand in Hand Parenting Facebook page, I show you how the Hand in Hand Parenting tools can inject connection into your days so you see more smiles instead of struggles in the mornings....

Whining can be one of the most annoying and frustrating things for us to deal with as parents. It often feels like our children are doing it because they know it annoys us so much! And once it starts it feels like nothing will solve it. As always when our children’s behaviour is tricky, it’s good to look behind the surface behaviour. All behaviour is communication. It is our job to decode the sign...

Today I'm talking about how we can parent in a gentle and respectful way without being permissive. It is possible to model good boundaries and limits with our children without harshness or punishments. In fact, setting limits early and often can strengthen our relationships and develop our children's emotional intelligence. Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your kids listening so you d...

Are you struggling with your child's aggression? Maybe it is directed towards you, a sibling or at other children in childcare or school. We often try explaining, reading stories about "gentle hands" or punishing our children for their aggressive behaviour. But the key to stopping aggression lies in the feelings driving the behaviour. Find out how to support your child so they can let go of aggres...

When I first became a mum, I held a cultural belief that bedsharing was wrong / dangerous etc. After 3 days of sleep deprivation, I was bedsharing and continued to bed share for several years. There are lots of advantages to bed-sharing But as your child grows you might not enjoy bed sharing any more for many reasons You can’t sleep Child is noisy or moves around a lot You want some personal space...

How do we encourage our children to be honest with us? How do we make it safe for them to come to us when they do something wrong or mess up? How do we make sure they grow up to be adults who take responsibility for their actions? There are lots of different types of lies It is helpful to remember to come from a place that your child is a good kid. It they are struggling, let’s look below the surf...

This is a bonus episode from a Facebook Live I did on the main Hand in Hand Parenting Facebook page. Today we're talking about the difference between regular play and Playlistening. All types of play are beneficial to kids but Playlistening can support your child to offload tension, build confidence, heal from fears and feel your love. It allows you to strengthen your relationship with your child,...

The thing about boredom is that it is definitely not about having nothing to do. I'm sure your house is full of games and toys and things to do. Feeling bored is a sign that your child is running low on connection. I'm sure you have tried making suggestions of things to do. These suggestions fall flat because your child has lost their sense of connection, they aren't able to think well and they ar...

What happens when your partner or co-parent has a very different parenting style to you? Maybe they parent in ways you prefer they would not - with harshness or anger. That can be very triggering for us. We don’t want to undermine them but we want to protect our child. So how do we best support our children or our partner with this? There aren’t any two parents who parent from exactly the same pag...

If you feel like poking me in the eye at the thought of being more playful and spending more time playing with your children - I hear you! As parents, we spend so much time taking care of our kids and everyone else's needs first that there is seldom time or energy left for play. I get it! But we can learn to be playful and it pays off big time!! Thanks for joining me. If you’re ready to get your k...