How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

In this week’s Bucket Emptying episode, I’m answering the question - how do we as parents regulate our own emotions?  If you’re a regular listener you know that I've covered some really big bumper episodes around ‘how do we help our children manage their big emotions’.  One of the things I've talked about quite a lot in those episodes is about how we need to make sure that we're self-reg...

We all know how crucial communication is for raising resilient children – but how do we build them in the first place - or repair broken channels?? Here are the highlights: (03:15) Practice good communication skills yourself - 6 steps (15:25) Avoid lecturing (17:18) Invest time to learn about what’s important to your child (20:05) Be fully present (22:00) Create opportunities  (22:45) It may...

I was recently asked to share 5 valuable tips to help parents prepare their children for their first residential trip and I thought this would be a great bucket emptying topic. These tips are not only beneficial for overnight stays or sleepovers, but can also be applied to any situation that challenges our children and pushes them out of their comfort zone.  💚 Let's grow our village together...

Work-life balance does not exist, and the mum-guilt needs to stop!!! Instead let’s focus on counterbalance using these top five strategies. Here are the highlights: (2:00) A heartfelt gift from me to you (4:00) Sorry, you can’t have it all! (5:35) Build your tribe (9:08) Motherhood is just one role of many (12:23) Manage your expectations (15:29) Expect wobbly days (19:06) It’s ok to say no to you...

The purpose of my latest bucket-emptying session is to provide valuable insights to help alleviate your stress and enhance productivity, to stop your bucket overflowing.  During the school holidays you have a wonderful opportunity to start Sunday planning meetings, which can be a game changer in preventing your bucket from filling up unnecessarily. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please s...

Is parenting a constant battle? Are struggling to maintain boundaries, reasonable expectations aren’t being met, or if your child is shouting and/or using their physical self to exert their emotions? This is a must listen episode! Here are the highlights: (2:00) Let’s get some realistic context (6:19) Focus on what is out of control for you? (10:35) Choose one area for 30 days (14:57) Make a plan...

This episode features a unique bucket-emptying resource created on the spot during a chaotic school holiday moment when my children were young.  As a control enthusiast, I always have a notebook handy, which led to the creation of this resource. It’s always been a hit with my kids, who used to request it frequently, and still talk fondly of it as adults. If you're in need of a helpful resourc...

Bed-rot and apathy are learnt behaviours, which can be unlearnt! I'll give you 5 things you can do today to break these bad habits. Here are the highlights: (2:05) Brace yourself (2:49) Choose your start date carefully (5:00) Consistency is key (7:36) Your expectations (10:35) Understand the root cause (12:41) Agree proportionate amount of time (16:11) Do not tell them how to use the time (18:29)...

Today's Bucket Emptying podcast episode delves into the powerful practice of gratitude. Research shows that our brain cannot differentiate between reality and imagination, so by focusing on what we're grateful for, we immerse ourselves in positivity and joy. This mindset not only brings small wins and happiness but also sets the right tone before bedtime. Similar to how we must secure our oxygen m...

Struggling with children or teens who can’t be bothered, spend hours on sofas/beds glued to televisions or devices, never seem to want to do anything, and could happily while away the whole day in-doors?? I’ve got you covered in this two-part episode. Here are the highlights: (1:00) Warning - it’s going to be a slow journey (3:30) Let’s look at the context behind the behaviour for your child (10:3...

Today's Bucket Emptying podcast episode is a must-listen for parents who are considering giving a mobile device to their child or teen.  In 2023, 30% of eight-year-olds had their own smartphone. Yes, you read that right - a third of eight-year-olds own their own digital device. This data is quite eye-opening as it highlights the prevalence of smartphones among young children.  It's cruci...

Helping children navigate friendships issues is all about observing the do's and don'ts I'll share. When we follow these our children feel better equipped to handle anything. A quick reminder that this is Part 3 in a 3 part series on Friendships.  Listen to Part 1 Listen to Part 2 Here are the highlights: (2:30) Listen (5:42) Ask questions to clarify (7:04) Empathise with the lens they have s...

Today's Bucket Emptying episode is about navigating the challenges of decision-making as parents. We often find ourselves searching for the ‘right’ choice, aiming to minimise the chances of making mistakes for our children. But is there a ‘right’ decision??? Join me for a 10-minute conversation where I explore the concept of decision-making in parenting. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please...

In this week’s episode I’ll unpick practical ways we can support a child who might be struggling making friendships, as well as helping a child transitioning to a new school and starting afresh.  A quick reminder - this is Part 2 in a 3 part series on Friendships. Part 1 is Episode 158 Here are the highlights: (1:25) Characteristics required to make friends (6:38) Conversational skills (...

It’s a month of anniversaries, and this week we celebrate 1 year of the Bucket Emptying episode. So, I’m re-releasing the episode explaining the importance of yours, and your child’s bucket! We don't notice our bucket filling until that last drop of water goes into the bucket and the water overflows, and we get explosions, big emotions, and often tears as a consequence. But do you or your child kn...

We’ve all been there right? Whether it’s because we’ve said ‘no’ to something, asked them to do something they don’t want to do, or called ‘time for dinner, bed, bath, school, homework etc ……. and they’ve totally lost the plot. Their reaction seems so disproportionate, you’d think we’d cut off a limb, and yet to them it’s the end of their world and to us we’re struggling to know what to say and ho...

Today's bucket emptying episode comes to you in the week that is the 3rd anniversary of the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast which is now downloaded in 89 countries. I had no idea this is what was going to happen and that you incredible people would be downloading not only one episode a week, but now two, each Monday and Thursday. Thank you so much. It does not go unappreciated by me and my t...

What can we do when we find our parenting varies so drastically from our partners that’s it’s causing real issues at home – impacting our children, our relationship and making family life feel like a battleground?? Here are the highlights: (2:30) Not minor disagreements, but core values (5:00) Parenting is a reflection of what is happening in your entire life, not just your role as a parent (11:22...

Parenting is harder now than it has ever been. We are busier than ever, juggling more, and we don’t always share the same views as our partner about how to best parent. It’s then a whole different minefield to navigate if you and your partner have split and are now co-parenting; not always amicably. This podcast episode is for you if….. You want to be more consistent with your parenting You are pr...

In today's Bucket Emptying podcast episode, the focus is on parental guilt. It's a feeling many of us experience almost as soon as our child is handed to us, impacting various aspects of our lives.  To address this challenge, it's crucial to recognise when the guilt arises from a misalignment between our actions as parents and our perceived responsibilities. The first step is to identify and...

This episode follows on from Episode 160 discussing sleep, but this time I've got company; I'm chatting to the fabulous Sleep Mums. So come join us as we have a refreshingly honest conversation and share some super practical advice to help. You're in for a treat! Here are the highlights: (02:45) Do you have a routine or not? (08:37) Every child has different needs (10:46) The difference between ba...

A survey by the NHS found that 29% of six to 10-year-olds had trouble sleeping on three or more nights in the previous week. Problems getting to sleep, waking in the night or waking early were even more common among older children, affecting 38% of 11- to 16-year-olds and the majority – 57% – of young people aged 17 to 23. To me, it’s no wonder we have rising numbers of mental health challenges wi...

Today's bucket emptying episode is all an amazing breathing technique; Take 10. You can use this an adult, as well as also teaching it to your kids. I've tried all sorts of breathing techniques, and young people often really struggle with this notion of focusing in on the breath, anchoring themselves in the breath. Instead of asking them to focus on the breath itself and changing the breath, this...

This episode was originally released in 2022, but friendships are still one of the biggest challenges our girls have to navigate. It can cause so much upset and make life miserable. So, Amy and Jess wrote a book to help their daughters so they never had to struggle with friendships as they did. They hope the hard lessons they learned help smooth the road for young girls and help them walk with the...

In this series of three episodes I'll share how to help our children make good friendships, keep them, and how to avoid the dramas and toxicity. Here are the highlights: (2:55) Friendships aren’t permanent (5:27) Different friends for different seasons and reasons (9:02) One friend or lots? (11:42) Gender differences (13:18) Support the way your child likes to socialise (15:12) Core skills that ma...