How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Today's bucket emptying episode is for your children and I'm setting you a challenge and mindset shift to help your children take those plunges and not see mistakes or failures as catastrophic.  The challenge is to start reframing mistakes and failure a full stop, and instead to start seeing it as a comma. Let me explain what that I mean. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this...

A must listen if you are struggling with sibling arguments and friction which is making life at home feel quite unbearable. The solution isn’t just in how you deal with it in the moment it’s in how your child sees themselves in your family. Here are the highlights: (1:25) Sibling rivalry is a natural part of family dynamics (3:39) How does your child feel about themselves? (5:31) What role does yo...

Children who grow up in the same family experience the family very differently. Siblings vie over the same family resources. When siblings fail to find their niche - conflict ensues. I'll help you audit your family to unravel the root of the issues. Here are the highlights: (1:40) Psychological context of individual  (7:37) Sibling rivalry is normal (8:21) Focus on needs  (10:44) Compari...

In today's Bucket Emptying episode, I want to show you a really great bucket emptying tool and strategy for your children that is the glitter jar. Now, obviously a glitter jar is rather lovely and beautiful and very aesthetic in your home, but it's also a superb way of explaining emotions to children and teens, whether that's big emotions around anger, frustration, annoyance, jealousy, or whether...

There are very real issues girls face growing up, which negatively impacts their resilience. Being a ‘good girl’ limits their potential. I’ll share my top tips for raising gutsy women who are not afraid to take chances. Here are the highlights: (2:20) Brain facts for context (12:10) Language matters (14:40) Be aware of confirmation bias & hyper vigilance (19:18) Shift the energy through action...

Self belief is the foundational layer to self-esteem and self confidence. Without it you're building on quick-sand. I will share ways to help children believe in their own capabilities - regardless of age. Here are the highlights: (5:25) I can have a go (8:47) Don’t jump in to fix (11:38) Provide options (12:54) Break challenges into bite size chunks (14:02) Feedback loop (15:45) Constructive feed...

This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode is a must-listen for everyone, not just parents!  Have you ever stopped to think how many roles you juggle each week? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control, especially when you’re trying to keep everyone happy with a limited resource - time. Listen in as I share my 3 practical tips.  Oh, and don’t forget to share with friends and fam...

How can we get a non-communicative child or teen to open up? Feels like mission impossible yet with a few tweaks, and a whole lot of faith it is possible. I'll share my top four don'ts and my top five dos. Here are the highlights: (00:45) You can’t help your child with anxiety or confidence if they won’t open up to you (1:58) Don’t ask your child about their day (3:27) Don’t expect overnight chang...

In this week's episode of the Bucket Emptying podcast I tackle a very topical listener question: “Should we ban smart phones??”  Whilst I have very strong opinions regarding children’s use of smartphones, the internet, and social media, I don’t believe that banning them is the solution. Instead, let’s teach our children how to use them safely, which starts with modelling moderation of use of...

How can we help our children and teens when they are taking tests and exams? Whether they are lacking motivation and doing absolutely no work, or they are overworking and getting themselves super stressed. Understanding some basic principles is crucial. We can then step up to be the support they need, and they can step up and be their best. Here are the highlights: (01:40) Revision should be a tim...

In this week's episode of the Bucket Emptying podcast, we tackle a wonderfully honest question: "Help! I hate playing with my children."  As parents, it's natural to feel overwhelmed at times. But, we can learn a lot from our children by being authentic and vulnerable.  Listen in to hear my top tips on how to connect with your children and make the most of your time together.  💚 Le...

How can we help our children change their constant self-critical talk? Whether it's " I can't" all the way to " I am not enough" - they become the sum of what they hear and it's time to change! Here are the highlights: (2:35) Why is this important? (6:06) A bit of science… (7:58) Self-audit (13:41) The brain mechanisms at play (15:20) Where do your child’s self-critical thoughts show up most? (19:...

As parents, we all want to cherish every moment we have with our children. But what happens when the thought of them growing up becomes overwhelming?  This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode tackles this listener question head-on. Listen in as I share my top tips on how to cope with this common fear. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚...

Being vulnerable as a parent feels counterintuitive - aren't we meant to be strong, unwavering in our confidence, and stable?? Yes, and no! I'll share why vulnerability will in fact make you a better parent and how. Here are the highlights: (1:25) What do we mean by vulnerability? (3:20) Be mindful who you’re vulnerable with! (7:20) Vulnerability encourages and creates emotional connection (8:55)...

In this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode I answer a question from a listener who is expecting her first child and is worried she won't be a good mum. Firstly, thank you! I've had some amazing questions from listeners recently and your answers help every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle and educator that listens in. Your openness helps others. Back to the episode, listen in as I share my 3 to...

Ever wished I could speak directly to your children and offer them my tips and advice?? Well this episode is just for them - alright, and you if you really must listen to it!! I share with them 5 empowering truths. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes 💚 You can watch t...

In today's bucket emptying episode, I talk about something that will help you as a parent, and that's about knowing your weaknesses, and your vulnerabilities. Children and teenagers thrive from a very consistent approach to boundaries, but our approach can relax when we are vulnerable. Join me as I explain how knowing your weaknesses and our vulnerabilities is a really crucial part to knowing and...

Course correcting 101. How can we help children from 2 - 18 years operate outside their zone of comfort without compromising their emotional-wellbeing?? This is a super practical episode with lots of how toos. You won't want to miss it!! Here are the highlights: (2:30) Reminder of importance of high expectations, agency and boundaries (4:20) Why have I chosen a toddler, 8 year old and 15 year old...

Have you heard of the "power of yet"?  This tiny word holds an enormous amount of potential, and in this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode, you'll learn how to harness its power.  Discover how adding 'yet' to a statement can unlock a world of possibilities for both you and your children. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Comple...

Have we given our children an opt-out clause, allowing them to avoid difficult things, because we're so worried about their emotional being??? I think so. How do we course correct? I'll share in this two-part episode. Here are the highlights: (1:14) Has the pendulum swung too far? (4:00) Children are a building under construction (5:55) Are you preparing them for their future? (11:16) Hold your ch...

I've got a great Bucket Emptying tip for you today - the one minute rule. This is super helpful to reset your mindset when returning home from work, collecting your children from school and is a great tip to teach your children too! I hope you enjoy the episode. Please share with anyone you think could find it helpful. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one...

Big change can feel super scary. What we might see as routine our children might feel is their biggest challenge yet! How we prepare them is crucial - remember we're raising resilient adults. Here are the highlights: (01:08) The balanced see-saw (3:44) Acknowledge your child’s lens (6:12) Be prepared (9:31) Talk about it sooner rather than later (12:40) Actively listen to your child (15:21) Build...

Why do parents need a village to raise resilient adults in the 21st century?  Listen to this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode as I discuss the premise behind the "it takes a village" proverb and its relevance in our modern world.  I'll explore the 3 key reasons we all need a village to thrive and succeed.  💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at l...

When our child is throwing the mother of all tantrums what do we do? My advice has always been not to use ‘the naughty step’ for the simple reason that it takes a child who is experiencing some pretty big, sometimes scary emotions and isolates them. However, a 'time-out' can be used effectively when the timing is right. Let me explain... Here are the highlights: (01:00) Naughty steps and removal o...

This week’s Bucket Emptying podcast episode addresses a question from a concerned parent - how to support a child who is self-deprecating after making poor choices.  Your child might say things like "I'm a bad person", "I'm a naughty person", or "I'm awful” after snatching a toy from a friend, getting angry when they’re frustrated or squabbling with a sibling. Listen in as I explain how to he...