How Did You Get Here with Verastic

This episode of How Did You Get Here with Verastic is one that truly touched my heart. I sat down with Benny Bing, a Toronto-based Nigerian contemporary artist whose story is as powerful as his paintings. We talked about grief, forgiveness, masculinity, creativity, and the healing power of art. Benny opened up about losing his brother and father, the process of letting go of vengeance, and how art...

In this deeply moving episode of How Did You Get Here with Verastic , I sit down with Kechi Okwuchi — one of only two survivors of the tragic Sosoliso plane crash of 2005 . Kechi’s story is one of unimaginable pain, miraculous survival, and powerful transformation . From surviving burns over 65% of her body to undergoing more than 100 surgeries, from competing on America’s Got Talent to becoming a...

The world is still learning about autism. And I, Vera Ezimora, know even less about autism. My first "real" experience with autism was when I got my first professional job after I graduated college. It was as a Service Coordinator, and I walked with individuals with intellectual disabilities. It seems like such a lifetime ago now. I learned so much from that job. When I came across today...

This pandemic needs to just go away. Am I right? Or am I right? A lot of things have changed permanently, thanks to the pandemic. For example, remote work, when possible, will probably always be the norm. Another thing is money: how much of it we wake, how much of it we have saved for a rainy day, etc. In today's episode, we have Ronke Adewumi, a finance expert, teaching us creative ways to s...

Infertility is one of the many taboo conversations in the African community. In the Christian African community, it's even worse. For starters, the bible says that there will be barrenness in the land, so both preachers and the congregation they're preaching to are quick to remind women who are trying to conceive of this verse. It's almost as if the infertility is thereby invalidate...

Recently, a Nigerian woman, Dr Ikea Bello, went viral for doing what we (Nigerians/Africans) would consider the unimaginable. Not only did she file for divorce, but she also dared to celebrate it --- and she did it publicly. On social media. With pictures. And videos. So, naturally, the African internet streets are offended. And also naturally, I was there to remind everyone that the divorce and t...

My people! I am here to prove to you that divorced dads who are dating do exist! It took me so long to find a divorced dad willing to speak to me about his dating life. But then Goziem happened. He was introduced to me by a mutual friend, Eloka, and the rest is history. As a divorced mom, I know what dating is like. But I did not know and what I wanted to know was how it was for a divorced dad. Wh...

Conversations are important, especially with people who are different from you. As a Christian girl, it was important for me to have this conversation with Ruth Marimo, an African Atheist - because at the end of the day, no matter who we serve (or don't serve), we are still humans with blood running through our veins. Today's guest, Ruth Marimo, isn't new to the podcast. She first c...

Divorce is like an onion; it has so many layers that need to be peeled, one after another. First, there's the layer where you realize you need to get divorced, and there are all the emotions that come with it. Then there's the layer where you go through the actual divorce. Then, finally, the layer after the divorce. Now what? What happens after the divorce? How do you heal? How do you mo...

I used to not wear shorts.  Wait, let's rewind. When I was younger, maybe between 12 and 17 or something like that, I loved my legs, and I remember how it started. I had heard my mom in a conversation with her friend who kept complimenting my legs, saying how nice they were. And that was how I started suddenly thinking my legs were the best. But at some point, I started thinking that my legs...

This is one of the first topics I wrote down when I was dreaming about starting my podcast: why Africans don't have the African American perspective. From the moment I finally began to understand my African privilege and the struggles of my African-American brothers and sisters that I previously did not know of, I have tried to use my platform to tell all my fellow Africans. African privilege...

Before I filed for divorce - in fact, before I even walked away from my marriage - I had never given a moment's thought to sex (or lack of it) during a divorce. I also did not know that the legal laws for sexing while divorcing varied from State to State. In my State, Maryland, for example, it is illegal to have sex with someone who is not your spouse, until your divorce is final. It does not...

My Sweet Potatoes! Season two is upon us! Need I say more? The real question is are you ready? Or ARE YOU READY? BEFORE YOU GO, PLEASE RATE AND LEAVE A WRITTEN REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS . THANK YOU! Let's connect: I Am African on Instagram I Am African on Twitter I Am African on Facebook Vera Ezimora on Instagram Vera Ezimora on Twitter Vera Ezimora on Facebook Subscribe to my monthly emails W...

Can women actually be divorced and happy? For some reason, being divorced and happy, especially for a woman, seems like it's mutually exclusive. I will not make the claim that all women are divorced and happy, but I can confidently say that any woman who gets divorced for the right reasons can be - and most likely is - divorced and happy. Our culture abhors divorce. Our culture also abhors a...

"Vera, you're so strong!" I've practically heard this for as long as I can remember. I heard it most when I left my marriage . People congratulated me for being so strong, for having the audacity to walk out of a marriage that was trampling me and robbing me of my peace. I did not understand why I was being congratulated. Should one not always leave a situation that is bad for...

"I believe in asking the difficult questions, starting the uncomfortable conversations, proposing outside-the-box solutions, and of course, shaking tables. No, breaking tables." Verbatim, these words are in the intro of the I Am African Podcast because they are exactly why I started this podcast. And today, I had the pleasure of speaking with Edafe Okporo about his life as an openly-gay...

Even now, I'm wondering if How Not To Say Yes When You Really Mean No is the appropriate title for this. But it's too late to change it. The podcast has been recorded, edited, and published. Perhaps, what I really should have named it is How Not To Spend Your Energy On Things You Really Don't Want. Either way, I suppose there's still an element of saying yes or no to something....

I played a game of Never Have I Ever on Zoom for Uju's birthday in April, and it got me thinking about a whole lot. Although I knew it before, this game became living proof that indeed I need to stop being so safe and live already. There is so much I still have not experienced. Half the year is already gone, but it does not mean I can't start where I am right now, right? The past three w...

Sweet Potatoes, So much is going on in the world right now. And I'm tired of starting sentences like this, but how can I be tired when some people have a worse fate? My fellow Nigerian women have been raped and killed with no repercussions to the rapist because of the rape culture in Nigeria. In today's episode, I have the very smart and outspoken table-shaker, Omolara Oriya, an activist...

Today's episode is not a regular episode, and I am not a regular Vera today either. I was so angry recording this episode. When I was listening back to it, I felt bad for the Vera who recorded it. I was angry that some Africans still don't know that they're Black in America, but I was angrier at the situation that calls for Africans to be reminded that they're Black too. Some d...

The longer I live, the more I learn. When I was a child, there were so many things that were normal to me. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know myself a lot better, and I realize that some of the things I thought were normal were actually patriarchal cultural norms that don't serve women. I'd admit that I fell for some of them, and as I live and learn, I will continue to unlearn eve...

Mercedes Okwukogu is a woman to be admired.  In the past three weeks, Nigerian Facebook has been greatly shaken. On Ola Bisi's Facebook wall, she started sharing stories of women who are divorced. She used the hashtag, #DivorceNotStigma, and I was one of the women whose stories got shared. She reached out to me to share my story, and even before she reached out, I was planning on doing so any...

Last week, I shared my marriage and divorce story again on Facebook, on Ola Bisi's Facebook profile page, as part of her #DivorceNotStigna series. It's a series of stories by women who walked out of their marriage and got divorced after enduring too much. But reading some of the comments, raised another question about why women endure bad marriages. So, of course, I am here to answer. Le...

Before we go any further, let's just agree that our African men know better. That being said, last month, I wrote a post on this blog, titled, "20 Things Women Are Not Doing in 2020 ," and while it was so much fun to write, I was once again surprised by how many women related to it. A woman sent me an email to say how she related to so many of these points, but the one that pained h...

Have you ever faced a mountain in your life that you thought was just going to take you out? Yeah, me, too. Sometimes, I sit back and remember when life was much simpler. Like when my biggest problem in life was that I did not own a cell phone. I wished for one so badly. Funny enough, at some point, I owned not just one, but two cell phones. Then I got tired of having two cell phones, and I switch...