Horror on the Orient Express

A Fourgon Conclusion The players choose jelly baby homunculi in preparation for the final, dramatic episode of Horror on the Orient Express . Mrs. Sunderland and Mary visit a certain Mr. Shakti who helps them out with their... problems, whilst the Colonel and Amelia say goodbye to old friends. Max goes shopping. The party board a plane piloted by the dashing Max Von Richthofen, and renew an old (a...

Darkest before the Dawn Our protagonists, minus one member, accompany Aktar on a stealthy trip into the Shunned Mosque. Aktar has time to regret his choice of companions on a short trip in a rowing boat. Within the bowels of the Mosque, Mary further hones her skills with a sub-machine gun, whilst the Colonel displays the somewhat surprising ninja prowess of a one-eyed geriatric with a gammy leg. A...

Head Games The episode starts in a familiar fashion – the party are graverobbing. They encounter the insane Companion of the Dead, who soon learns to regret sneaking up on the Colonel. Within the grave of Garaznet our heroes discover a shocking sight, and soon find themselves betrayed, and held captive in a most unpleasant fashion by the Brothers of the Skin. In a fit of panic, Mrs. Sunderland rev...

Blood, Sweat & Tears After dinner, the party actually decide to follow up on a side-plot, though there is a brief pause whilst a broken Helen repairs herself. Max and Mary head to the library together to investigate "Garaznet: the thief" amongst the narrow and cozy stacks, whilst the other members of the group pay a visit to Sir Douglas Rutherford, the British ambassador, and learn of the disa...

Keeping it in the Family The remaining party members further discuss Mrs. Sunderland's recent alliances. Col. Goodenough is less than happy. The Orient Express pulls in to Constantinople, and the group experiences grievous trouble at the station, further confirming the Colonel's opinion of foreigners. Two old friends await them in Constantinople – Amelia Scott, cousin of Violet's husband and (much...

Fenalik Mary reveals her secret to Milos, who secures her new official papers with some well-judged words, and lots of money. Violet goes shopping for drugs. The party discusses what to do with the portions of the simulacrum, and a decision is reached. Re-boarding the Orient Express, the group head towards their final destination: Constantinople. They are not fated to reach it without incident, ho...

Changes Sofia, 1925. Milos suffers an unfortunate mustard-gas relapse and returns to the hotel, whilst Violet becomes increasingly reliant on her all-too-regular morphine doses. Whilst the other (relatively) healthy members of the party visit the library, Violet keeps her cravings at bay by shopping for hats. The Colonel, prompted by his visions and certain discoveries at the library, suggests a t...

Paranoia, and the Eyes have it Sofia, 1925. Col. Goodenough proves to be a less-than-ideal patient as most of our heroes experience the delights of Sofia from a hospital bed. Violet receives some bad news from the resident doctor, whilst Grace ponders her newly-acquired arcane knowledge. Milos awakens from his coma, and fuels suspicions amongst the younger party members about Mrs. Sunderland. A we...

An Eye for an Eye Serbia, 1925. The Orient Express is delayed by snow en route to Sofia. Our heroes, by now desperate for medical attention, find an ally in Dr. Gaspari, a fellow passenger. His skill in medicine (and his readiness to use large doses of morphine) has people feeling better in record time, and soon the group settle down to play a few hands of bridge with their new companion. Unbeknow...

Saint Valentine's Day Massacre? Yugoslavia, 1925. The party stay overnight in Oraszac. After breakfast, the Colonel receives a present and an awkward social situation from a new friend. After a discussion of dressings and dressing changes, the party is ready to go into the woods today, searching for the right arm of the Simulacrum. Deep in the woods the group find a strange hut, wherein the Colone...

Fair & Fowl The party board the train for Oraszac and soon face terror itself in the form of a large black cockerel. Showing impressive restraint in avoiding any obvious jokes that may occur, our heroes immediately set about dispatching the fowl beast. Luck and the dice are not with our heroes, alas, and we soon learn the full horror of the phrase "chicken leg face". Violet buys the world's mo...

Mrs. Sunderland's Boys Belgrade, 1925. Before the action starts, The Bradford Players take pains to make it quite clear that this episode is performed entirely clothed (but, of course, we only have their word for it). Upon arriving at Belgrade, Mrs. Sunderland heads out to do some research, and sends a telegram informing the family of the victim on the train of her and her cats' fate. She makes th...

More than one way to skin a cat Trieste, 1925. Travelling to Belgrade the investigators meet the Lady Margaret Bramwell, who bears an uncanny resemblance for Mrs. Sunderland. After dinner, chit chat, and pinked Gin the ladies retire but the Colonel, Grace and Milos stay in the bar and restaurant area. Mrs. Sunderland discovers someone somehow has placed a packet on her bed and finds a letter from...

The Hamper House of Horror Trieste, 1925. The party head for the spectacular caves of the Grotti di Postumia, and secure the services of a local tour guide. Descending into the dank bowels of the Earth, the investigators are attacked by their guide and his disreputable colleagues who seek the Colonel's new medallion for some dark arcane purpose. They in turn are attacked by a gang of fez wearing T...

The longest day Trieste, 1925. While Mrs. Sunderland and the Colonel bicker about the Duc des Esseintes and the fate of the Simulacrum, the Colonel is pushed bodily down the hotel corridor by an invisible assailant and he bursts into the door of an adjacent room. The door is opened by an incredibly ugly man: none other than Margrave Milos Vilinchek, a travelling gun salesman who quickly seizes a b...

Hotel California Trieste, 1925. Our brave group visits the local branch of the House of Ausperg in order to track down Dr. Winckelmann's collection of medallions, pausing en route only to note the passing of a tall, thin man whose hair is a shock of red with a single lock of black. Herr Ausperg reports that his famous auction house was indeed involved in the sale of Winckelmann's diary, to a membe...

Where the wind blows After a short trip on the Orient Express, our band of travellers arrive in the windy city of Trieste. They take a taxi to the Moulin d'Or Hotel, where the Colonel, Grace and Violet are blown down the street by the violent wind, only narrowly missing the doors of the nearby Hotel Stupido. The following morning, they make for a local art history museum. Dr. Winstanley finds the...

An arm or a leg? Venice, 1925. During another sumptuous breakfast of Parma Kippers, the waiter tells the party alarming tales of the appearance of multi-limbed fish in the canals of Venice. The companions return to the Gremanci Doll Works and continue their investigations which are rewarded with a suggestion that one of the legs of the Simulacrum is attached to a statue in a palazzo in Venice. Mea...

A grave situation Venice, 1925. Day dawns over the city of Venice and an awful stench pervades the air. After sampling the delights of Parma Kippers, the party attends the funeral of Maria Stagliani's father. During the ceremony, they hear scratching noises from within the bow-festooned coffin and many professional opinions are given as to the amount of air present in the heavy stone tomb in which...

Bedhops & lockpicks The party decide to head to the graveyard island in Venice, where they encounter an intermittently-accented gravedigger and uncover the headstone of Alvise Gremanci. Mrs. Sunderland takes solace from her grief in alcohol, aided by Dr. Winstanley (apparently sponsored by the Pimm's corporation). Led by clues from Alvise's gravestone, the group head to the famous Gremanci dol...

Ahhh... Venice! The party board the uncharacteristically late Orient Express once more, bound for Venice. On the train they encounter the recently bereaved and rather upset Maria Stagliani and her maid. Upon their arrival at Venice, Maria is set upon by an unpleasant fascist gentleman, and the party come to her aid. Staying at the Gritti Palace, the group enjoy a night in Venice and listen to the...

Smutty for Some! (This episode was recorded before a live studio audience. Well, two people eating a Chinese takeaway). The ladies in the party go shopping for dresses, whilst the men go shopping for guns. Dr. Winstanley reveals his skill at cocktail creation, and the party enjoy a glass of Pimm's before a night at the opera. There is much discussion of ladies' monogloves throughout this episode....

A Death in the Family A Dr. Fenton Winstanley is called to our heroes to help tend to their various wounds. Tragically, his considerable medical skills fail him when they are most needed, and disaster befalls the party. Still coping with their bereavement, the party are lured into the streets of Milan by eerie singing, and learn that the Diva Caterina, due to sing in Aida at La Scala opera house,...

Smoked Herring The party spend the night in Montreaux, and in the morning load their luggage and an unconscious Grace onto the Orient Express once more, heading for Milan. Violet and the Colonel are joined at breakfast by one Col. Herring and his ineffectual wife. The two Colonels get on like a house on fire, but a luncheon with them and Mrs. Sunderland does not go well when the Duc des Esseintes...

Grace Under Pressure Penniless, Grace goes to ground in a nearby hotel. Meanwhile the Professor and Mrs. Sunderland decide to attempt to recover the scroll alleged in the diary to be stored safely in Dream Lausanne, using the preparation recovered from Edgar's room. Recorded: Thursday, 14th June 2007