Hope when there was none

Mental health issues are not a thing to downplay. These issues are serious. My ex had many mental health issues from Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopath, Depression, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Anxiety, Anti-social disorder, and more. The further I told my story many others reached out and shared how mental illness was a part of their stories. Take a listen as I dive into what this loo...

Have you been told you are crazy? That everything that is going wrong in your relationship is your fault? Do you feel like you are losing your mind? These are just a few things that are called "Gaslighting". This could be something an intimate partner uses, a parent, or friend. They question your sanity. Even, turning things around so the issues with your relationship are your fault due to mental...

I'm talking about dating again after a breakup with an abuser. This can be an extremely lonely time for some Survivors. You may consider going back to your ex just because of the stress and feeling that you "need" to have someone with you. Being on your own perhaps for the first time ever can be super scary! Digging into some healing is so important at this time. Learning who you are, what you wan...

Today, I dig into the start of my healing journey from recognizing my value to picking up the pieces after leaving. What I learned and tips I share to empower, educate, and inspire you to keep moving forward on your own.  Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to kn...

I'm normally pretty optimistic, but dealing with life's challenges and drama-filled people can bring you down. I'm often asked how do I stay upbeat and positive and looking at me you would never know the darkness that hides deep in my spirit.  I could let the darkness and negativity consume me but I wanted to show my abuser that I wasn't going to run back to him. I wanted my kids to see despi...

Journaling has been one of my "go-to" tools that I use for healing. My guest, Dyanne Kelley, Soulfire Woman Author, Temple Gates of Soulfire Woman Coach, Modern Day Priestess, and Psychotherapist digs into how using journaling can help you tap into purpose and healing. You can find her here- https://www.facebook.com/midlifesoulfirewoman www.instagram.com/soulfirewoman www.pinterest.com/midlifesoul...

After leaving a toxic relationship you may go on a rollercoaster of emotions and drama. Sadly, many use children as a tool against you this is one of many "Post-separation abuse" tactics that can be used against you. Even in situations where it is not an intimate partner. An adult child can withhold visiting with Grandparents or other family members. This adds more hurt to a volatile situation. It...

Thinking of leaving your abuser but are hesitating because you fear having no job or money? Here are a few ideas to consider starting by using the skills you probably already have or tap into things you enjoy doing. Online seller/eBay/Amazon, etc... Babysitting Dog/Cat sitter or walker Tutor- Music, Foreign language, computers Teaching hobbies- woodworking, crochet, canning/preserve/baking Cake De...

I learned what Boundaries are and what they are about 3 to 5 years ago. I didn't know I could have a say in what I wanted for my life. Part of my healing journey was to learn to share my feelings, wants, and dislikes in order to keep sane. It also showed me a true light around those that didn't respect me. Tune in for tips and suggestions to start using today.  Someone out there needs to know...

This isn't what I had in mind for a video today but I was prompted by the Spirit that I needed to share this. This is also one of my top questions asked about me. If you don't watch please read the comments for golden nuggets of truth and love. Please watch without littles around as well as I dive into a bit of my story about sex. If you don't know what swinging is here is an idea- a person who en...

First and foremost, I'm sorry you went through trial and possibly a horrific relationship. In many cases, abuse can remain unseen, such as emotional or mental abuse. These leave invisible heart wounds and scars that can be hidden. If you are trying to help a person what not to do is to tell them to get over it, or to move on, or to tell them there are other fish in the sea. This is a vulnerable ti...

Trauma blocking is what many survivors use to help numb the pain or sadness they are feeling after an event (or series of events). This behavior can take the form as: * Overeating/mindless eating even if you are not hungry. * Excessive exercising to reach a goal that you are not satisfied with. * Staying in a toxic relationship and you know you should have left long ago. * Compulsive shopping. * B...

On today's "Soulful Sunday" I dive into "Healing Modalities" What are they? So come with me as I dip my toes into the "woo". These modalities can be applied to all-around health and needs and are not necessarily trauma-related. There is also a bit of mystery and religious controversy surrounding these. Can you use these if you are Christian? Is this of God? Asking God, using prayer, and a clergy m...

Today I have my special Guest- Natasha Carlow Author and she bravely shares her story of overcoming pregnancy and miscarriage loss in her book, "Happy Tears and Rainbow Babies". Natasha wants to create a safe space where families can openly discuss issues of miscarriage, loss, faith, God, parenthood, love, friendship, and even business. My family definitely isn't perfect but each day we pick ourse...

A question I'm asked often is, "Will the dreams and nightmares about my ex stop?!" You left your abuser and now your dreaming about him/her. It may feel like you are still being held captive. When do they stop? Why does it feel like I'm obsessed or have separation anxiety from this person? You are probably frustrated by this. How can you break free from these? Remind yourself that you are safe! Th...

If you are thinking of sharing your story for the first time, let me tell you that I'm proud of you! How can you get started?  I started by blogging. I shared posts on social media on my page and soon after I received messages from friends that were supportive and much to my surprise a handful admitted they were or had been in an abusive relationship. There were also those that shared someone...

I recently shared "Green Flags to look for in a relationship" in Episode 54 find that here- https://anchor.fm/melinda-j-kunst/episodes/Episode-54-What-are-Green-flags-in-a-relationship-e11ddbp  Let's look at warning signs you should be on the lookout for in a relationship. This applies to any type of relationship. Not just with an intimate partner. Honestly, I wish I would have known these we...

Let me start by saying I am proud of you for making this brave step!  Before you leave ask yourself this question-  Is this relationship worth saving? Now hear me out! Is it that your partner is violent or upsetting when he/she is drinking/using drugs? Are they a bully and don't realize it? Have you gone through counseling to resolve the issue? I hate for relationships to end of course a...

In this episode, I share what are good things to look for in a new or current relationship. No relationship is perfect but there are some things to keep an eye out for when starting or thinking about a current relationship you are in this could be with an intimate partner, family member, friend, or co-worker. 1) This person takes responsibility for their own actions. 2) Support things you want to...

This is pt 8 of the, "What does abuse look like?". What does physical abuse look like? It is more than just getting hit, example's below. The abuser's physical attack or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts that escalate into more frequent and serious attacks. Examples- hitting, slapping, punching, kicking burning strangula...

join me for this touching and healing chat about "Grief" with Danielle Kean-Grassi. Her book, "Grief is only Suppressed Gratitude", touched my heart and I felt that she needed to share her story. Danielle is a Certified Anxiety Strategist & Certified Mental and Emotional Coach. Danielle’s written work has appeared in mental health blogs such as Succeed Now and she has spoken about anxiety and...

Here is pt 2 of dealing with loneliness after a toxic relationship. What can you do? Find a support group near you or a virtual group. Start thinking about what "YOU" want. Have you ever wanted to take up a hobby? Consider adopting a pet! Pet's can give love, help for health issues if trained, and give companionship. Get out some pen and paper and write a note to yourself about your trauma or feel...

Loneliness is one of the top reasons victims and Survivors get into a relationship fast after a breakup with a toxic partner. Many times these relationships are fine but there could be a chance you are jumping out of the fire back into the pan. Here are some suggestions to cope with the loneliness in this 2 part podcast. Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive....

Have you heard of this phase? Honestly, it's a bit outdated. There is never a time when there is a break in abuse. Now, the cycle of promises never to do any harm can last from a few hours, days, weeks, or months, as time goes on the old patterns creep in until the other shoe drops. This can repeat over and over. Aren't you tired Sis? Broken or empty promises are a constant. Staying away is hard....

Living with mental health issues can be so hard. I dealt with Anxiety and needed to take steps to tackle this. I lived in a state of "Fight or Flight" and it was disheartening. Learning new patterns and changing my mindset was BIG! Have you dealt with Anxiety? Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an a...