Holding Space with Julia

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores one of the most familiar sounds in parenting: "Mom... Mom... Mom..." If you've ever felt like you're living inside that famous repetitive moment from Family Guy, where Stewie calls for his mother over and over again, you're not alone. But what if those repeated calls aren't really about getting your attention? What if they're about finding connectio...

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores what really lies beneath defensiveness in relationships and why criticism often pushes couples further apart rather than bringing them closer together. Drawing on the work of Brené Brown, you'll learn how shame, vulnerability, and nervous system protection influence the way we respond when difficult conversations arise. Discover how curiosity can so...

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores what happens when overwhelm enters a relationship and how easily couples can get pulled into patterns of pursuit and withdrawal. Drawing on the work of Donald Winnicott and Sue Johnson, you'll learn how attachment, nervous system regulation, and emotional safety shape the way we respond when our partner is struggling. Discover why overwhelm is not t...

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why setting boundaries can feel so difficult—and why we often find ourselves over-explaining in an effort to preserve connection. Drawing on the work of Carl Rogers and Alfred Adler, you'll learn how to hold clear, compassionate limits without rupturing relationships. Discover why connection isn't built through convincing, but through presence, and...

Why do children keep asking after we've already said no? In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores repeated requests through the lens of attachment, nervous system regulation, and co-regulation. Rather than seeing repeated asking as defiance or manipulation, we look at what may be happening underneath the behaviour—uncertainty, emotional processing, and the search for safety within limits....

Transitions can be some of the hardest moments in family life—not because children are "difficult," but because transitions are nervous system state shifts. In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores co-regulation through the lens of Polyvagal Theory and explains why moments like leaving the house, ending screen time, bedtime, and even reconnecting with a partner after work can feel so emoti...

When your child won't go to sleep, it's rarely just about bedtime. In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores sleep resistance through the lens of attachment and nervous system regulation—unpacking why bedtime can feel so emotionally charged for children and parents alike. Together, we look at separation, safety, co-regulation, and the small moments of connection that help children feel secu...

Managing Morning Chaos: Bringing Nervous System Calm to the Rush Mornings can feel like a race against the clock—but beneath the rushing, resistance, and overwhelm, there's often a nervous system asking for safety and connection. In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why mornings can be so difficult for children and parents alike, and shares gentle, practical ways to bring more calm, co...

Episode #46 — Listening Beneath the Behaviour: Behaviour as Memory & Motion What if behaviour isn't random—or something to fix—but a message waiting to be understood? In this episode of the series, Julia brings together the core framework of Decode–Attune–Respond, exploring behaviour through a nervous system lens inspired by the work of Bessel van der Kolk . You'll learn how behaviour is often "me...

Episode #45 — The Child Freeze Response: Completing Stress Cycles Through Safety & Play When a child goes quiet, still, or says "I don't know," it can feel confusing—or even defiant. But what if that shutdown isn't avoidance… and is actually protection? In this episode, Julia explores the freeze response through a nervous system lens, drawing on the work of Peter Levine . You'll learn how freeze i...

Episode #44 — "Manipulative" Behaviours: Adaptations for Connection Under Threat When a child or teen is labeled "manipulative," it can feel frustrating, confusing, and even personal. But what if those behaviours aren't about control… and are actually about connection? In this episode, Julia explores so-called "manipulation" through a nervous system lens, drawing on the work of Gabor Maté . You'll...

Episode #43 — "You Don't Love Me": Attachment Protest as a Safety Check When a child or teen says "you don't love me," it can feel painful, unfair, or even triggering. But what if those words aren't rejection… and are actually a bid for connection? In this episode, Julia explores attachment protest through a nervous system lens, drawing on the work of Mary Ainsworth . You'll learn how these moment...

Episode #42 — The "Ignore Me" Response: When Withdrawal Becomes Protection When a child, teen, or even partner says "never mind," "I don't care," or quietly pulls away—it can feel confusing or even hurtful. But what if that response isn't avoidance… and is actually protection? In this episode, Julia explores the "ignore me" response through a nervous system lens, drawing on the work of Donald Winn...

Episode 41 — Sibling Rivalry Through a Regulation Lens Sibling rivalry can feel constant and overwhelming—but what if it's not misbehaviour at all? In this episode, Julia explores sibling conflict through a nervous system lens, drawing on the work of Melanie Klein . You'll discover how rivalry is actually a form of emotional development, where children are learning to hold love and envy at the sam...

Clinginess isn't a behaviour problem—it's a nervous system reaching for safety. In this episode, we explore clinginess through the lens of attachment theory and uncover what's really happening beneath the surface in children, teens, and adults. Learn how to respond with connection, not correction, and support deeper emotional security in your relationships.

When a child says "No," refuses, or pushes back, it's easy to see defiance as disrespect or misbehaviour. But what if it's something deeper? In this episode, we explore defiance through a nervous system lens—revealing how it's often a fight to protect a sense of agency, not a desire to control or oppose. Drawing on Virginia Axline's principles of non-directive play therapy, we unpack how power str...

In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores how what we often call "selective hearing" may actually be nervous system dysregulation. Drawing on Polyvagal Theory and the work of Dr. Stephen Porges, this conversation looks at how stress and perceived threat can literally change how we hear — making connection difficult in moments of overwhelm. Through examples from parenting, relationships, th...

In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores the role of repair as the foundation of emotional safety and connection in relationships. Conflict is inevitable — in parenting, partnerships, and even within ourselves — but healing happens in the return. Drawing on attachment research, Polyvagal Theory, and the work of Dan Siegel, Gabor Maté, Brené Brown, and Donald Winnicott, this episode explor...

In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores what happens after conflict — when we raise our voice, react from overwhelm, or hurt someone we care about — and how repair becomes the foundation for trust and emotional safety. Drawing on nervous system science, attachment theory, and the work of Brené Brown and Donald Winnicott, this episode reframes rupture as a natural part of relationships ra...

In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores one of the most challenging parenting moments — when a child hits. Through a nervous-system lens grounded in Polyvagal Theory, somatic work, and play therapy, she shares how to respond with calm boundaries instead of shame. This episode offers practical ways to move from conflict to connection while helping children safely release overwhelming "fig...

Episode 34 – When Your Child Refuses to Listen: Shifting from Control to Connection What do you do when your child just won't listen—no matter how many times you repeat yourself? In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores why resistance isn't defiance, but communication. Drawing from non-directive play therapy, attachment theory, and nervous system science, this conversation gently reframes...

Episode #33 – When Your Child Lies: A Nervous System View of Truth and Safety When a child lies, it can hit straight in the gut. Anger. Fear. Disappointment. Shame. And the painful question many parents don't say out loud: "If I can't trust them, what does that mean?" In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores lying through a nervous system and attachment lens — not as a moral failure or man...

Why does shutdown feel like disinterest—and why does it hurt so much? In this episode of Holding Space , Julia explores why a partner's withdrawal during conflict is often a stress response, not a lack of care. Drawing on Polyvagal Theory and the work of Bessel van der Kolk, we unpack what's happening in the nervous system when someone freezes, goes quiet, or emotionally disappears. You'll learn h...

Episode 31 – When Your Child Says "I Hate You!": What's Really Happening Underneath In this episode of Holding Space with Julia , we explore what's really happening beneath the words "I hate you"—and why this moment is not the end of connection, but an invitation to deepen it. Drawing on Winnicott's concept of the "good-enough parent," nervous system regulation, and real-life stories from homes, c...

Episode 30 – Flipping Your Lid: What to Do Next In this episode of Holding Space with Julia , we explore what really happens after we "flip our lid"—and how moments of rupture can become powerful opportunities for repair. Building on Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain and the concept of the window of tolerance, this episode gently unpacks why overwhelm happens, how the nervous system moves i...