Here's A Guy

It’s beginning to look a lot like another holly jolly episode of Here’s a Guy. O come o come all ye listeners, it’s time to deck the halls, jingle your bells, and rock around the Christmas tree, although not necessarily in that order. Whether it’s a white Christmas or a blue Christmas, this Christmas, and also last Christmas, have yourself a merry little Christmas with the Here’s a Guy fellas! O h...

Ladies and gentleman, in an attempt to class up this boorish podcast, I would like to present below a haiku about the title of this episode. Please enjoy, and hopefully you learn a little something from it: His job is bacon He’s salty and bad for you Also, he’s tasty Marvelous. However, we have a lot of work to do in order to culture ourselves after so many episodes. For that reason, I present bel...

134 episodes of Here's a Guy on the wall. 134 episodes of Here's a Guy. Download one, have some fun fun, 133 episodes of Here's a Guy on the wall. Hm. I was hoping I'd get more out of that bit. Unless I just kept going. But then you kinda have to commit and go all the way to zero, which I'm obviously not going to do. Plus I could have workshopped it a little bit better. I thought about doing "Spot...

After being off a couple weeks, we’re returning with a nice long episode. It’s thick. It’s stuffed. Chunky, if you will. Like the soup! From the Campbell’s brand of products. Seemingly their attempt to upscale their usual offerings, which are often from concentrate. Even the Chunky line is not that impressive as far as soups go. I’ve totally become a soup guy in the last year. Making new soups eve...

It's officially Halloween. Well, actually, it's not. I've literally said one thing so far and it was untrue. Just total scumbag behavior. Here's what I really meant: for all intents and purposes, it's Halloween, if we're confining ourselves to the context of Here's a Guy scheduling. Jeez, speaking of scary! The point is, this is the last Mayhem Month main episode for 2024, and what a journey it's...

I don't have a lot of creative thoughts to meander about this week. However, I have been watching a bunch of Tales from the Crypt, so the Crypt Keeper has been on my mind a lot lately. One of the all time great characters. Can you imagine pitching him in the writers’ room? Alright, we have an anthology horror show where characters are often tortured with cruel irony. We just need a host. How about...

It’s Week 2 of October, and I have to ask, is Spooky Season truly upon us? Something feels off. Perhaps it’s the lack of chill in the air. The leaves aren’t changing. I just drank a pumpkin ale but it gave me heartburn. Halloween decorations are out, but the spirit feels different. It’s at this time we wonder…are we no longer spooked? Perhaps…life has become just too good for everybody. Things are...

Folks, we're back with the greatest time of year in the HaG studios. That's right, it's Mayhem Month. In the past we've covered a wide variety of mayhem-filled topics, from a zombie army to a man in love with a corpse to a pizza man who got his head blown off. Through it all we've learned very little. Actually, that's true of most things, and a testament to us specifically. We have learned one thi...

Folks, we’re back in my favorite time of year: soup season. Well, theoretically anyway. The scourges of global warming are making this more challenging. There’s no reason why you can’t eat soup while it’s hot out, it just feels wrong. Why is that though? It’s not like we don’t eat other hot foods while it’s hot out. Shit, I eat hot food basically all year round. Soup has been boxed in as chilly/co...

Webster's dictionary defines three as "a number that is one more than 2." Wikipedia further elaborates "3 (three) is a number, numeral and digit. It is the natural number following 2 and preceding 4, and is the smallest odd prime number and the only prime preceding a square number. It has religious and cultural significance in many societies." It goes on to say that "A...

Something I've always had trouble squaring away is the existence of pointless maladies compared to the existence of an omnipotent god. For example, right now, I have one of those sores on the side of my tongue. As far as I know, I did not do anything wrong that led to this, and it is unclear how I could have prevented it. Thereby, there is no lesson to be learned, and I cannot fathom how this...

We're feeling a little sleepy tonight, gang. Not sure if we have the energy for a usual stream of consciousness rambling description. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I just smoked some pot and ate a Twix bar. I'm an adult, I can do things like this when I want. Point is, my subconscious is tired. If that's even a thing that happens. I don't know to what extent you...

It’s that time of one of every four years that the entire world turns their attention to the Olympics. Except for Hollywood, they turn their attention to the Ozempic! Is that joke still topical enough to work? I really don’t know, I think Ozempic is still a thing in the zeitgeist but its moment of being talked about seemed to have passed. It actually seemed to have passed without everyone making u...

Ah, it’s the Here’s a Guy gang, back once again with some good old fashioned family fun. [Disclaimer: please do not let children listen to Here’s a Guy]. That has to be one of the most nausea-inducing commonplace marketing terms in existence, “family friendly.” That’s code for “sucks.” It’s also disingenuous, because I remember watching plenty of annoying “family-friendly” content that my parents...

I can make very few promises in this world, but I can promise you this: In this episode of Here's a Guy, we reference a LOT of cartoons. Now, I know what you're thinking. That's every episode of the show. And you're right, that is every episode of the show. But in this one, we top ourselves. It's like every minute. We'd say we're sorry but we're not- and more to the...

Just when you thought we were out of new ideas, the brilliant minds at Here’s a Guy are back with a brand new theme episode- and it’s just what everyone has been waiting for. We’ve been discussing unheralded historical tales for 120 episodes, featuring heroic adventures and devious villains and frightening twists. What’s been missing? That’s right, horses. This show has featured a distinct lack of...

There comes a time in a man's life where he has to do the right thing. We must speak our minds in the interest of doing the morally just thing. Sure, it may be easier to stay quiet, but important things are never easy. It takes the courage and convictions of the bold to affect change in our world, and in a world in need of drastic, radical change, this is critical for the betterment of humanit...

It's so hot outside, we're practically melting. Kinda like that gal in the Wizard of Oz. What a strange movie. Talking animals and spellcasters and whatnot. I've never had a dream like that, not sure what Dorothy was smoking. I did once have a very vivid dream that a demon from Hell was throwing firebolts at me as I was trapped in a truck in the field by my house. It would have kicked...

Well, it's my favorite time of evening. Almost bedtime, I'm horizontal on the couch, I'm writing the episode description for Here's a Guy, and I'm eating some tortilla chips. That's right, out of the bag. Straight rawdogging it. Why did it develop that we eat potato chips plain but not tortilla chips? Even Fritos can be eaten plain, although it's not everyone's favo...

Some days, we’re in pain. Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain. Much like that Three Days Grace song, “Pain.” Except as a normal person in your 30s, your position on pain from a philosophical perspective is diametrically opposed to that of the freaky guy in that band. What was their deal? They were kind of a butt rock band, but they had a metally edge to them. Sort of like Buckcherry with an...

This week marks a milestone for Here's a Guy. Or, more specifically, for our platform. Or, even more specifically, for the site we use to upload the show. See, what used to happen is that you uploaded the file and all the episode information to a site called anchor dot fm. Then, it got bought out by Spotify, and it became "Spotify for Podcasters." Functionally, that changed nothing o...

I had a random state holiday off today. One of those holidays that honors a terrible person, but you get a day off work anyway, so who's gonna complain. I actually think that's more appropriate. If you were living a day named after a terrible person AND you had to go to work, that would just be insulting. Maybe that could be the compromise to get us to the 4-day work week that has been emp...

As the title suggests, we have no title this week. This was a deliberate choice, and an act of protest until our demands are met. Given the news, I should point out that this act of protest is very different than those of various college students around the country right now. The key differences are that those protests are cool and commendable, whereas this is a lame bit for a podcast. We're p...

It’s a beautiful chilly night. The house is quiet save for the pitter patter of rain hitting the windows. The sort of idyllic night they try to replicate on those YouTube live channels for you to fall asleep to. Those are some kind of racket, huh? Collect a little ad revenue from video startup, then it doesn’t matter that much what you put into the video because it either works right away or it do...

There comes a time in every podcaster's life where he must make some choices. The choice to thoroughly plan things out and put out an improved product that may gain some traction, or to continue on with the same level of quality and use that as a bit. Both have their merits. One is more noble, to be sure. But, more importantly, it's also a lot more work. It's not necessarily funnier ei...