Helping.Mom

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) The Old Testament is obligatory, true and divine to 60% of world's population, to all followers of 3 great religions: to Christians, Muslims & Jews. Let us draw strength from the OT passages below, in rendering care today to our loved one.  Religious Basis for Caregiving  Revelation  Deut 29:29 SECRET things belong to the LORD the things which are REVEALED...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) 30% of American homes (40M total) provide some level of free care to loved ones. This % + # is much higher if we count caregivers who are over 50yoa. Most caregivers donate 26 hours/week. 25% are sandwiched between caring for their own children under 18yoa at same time caring for their aging parent. Men now account for 42% of caregiving. And 10% of kids 15-22yo...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Don’t pout on Pisgah; Get Perspective 14,600 days the children of God walked in circles, when they should have walked 11 days straight into the promised land. All now felt lost--Moses as the greatest caregiver of all time told he cant go in; his protoges/children in faith & work (Joshua and Caleb) who must go it alone from now on, without Moses, and; the 2M...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) PRAISE: This Helping. Mom podcast is already in Top 1% of podcasts in Eldercare category, and Top-3% in all categories--with 55 Episodes created/posted in 2-months, with 800+/- episode Downloads, from listeners in 11 countries + 97 cities. I have a website www.helping.mom with tabs of What I Do, and Podcast Topics List. I wrote a book entitled "Beginnings" whic...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Quality of Life is the mental and physical health of our care receiver. Improving QL is the basis of our $3T health care system. Everything we do as caregivers either adds to or diminishes from QL for our parent. QL is made of mixture of peace, harmony, purpose, relationships, happiness, and growth. As caregivers we can enhance the external factors affecting QL...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Today we discuss the 3 universal beliefs held by every attendee at the Harvard University John F. Kennedy School of Government Faith & Leadership Program, and what these beliefs have in common with caregivers. Stay tuned!  

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) As Senior Level Project Manager for US Army & Federal Govt I was responsible for $2BN projects in many states, & overseas. The same skills then help me now caregive for mom, including: defining overarching goal, thinking strategically + deciding tactically, developing meta-awareness about decisions made, communicating them effectively within team, and n...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Oh, Dear! This is going to get me in trouble...Come laugh with me as I share KEY lessons learned about women, by caring for my sweet, dear mama:  HOW can you talk for hours about a problem, instead of solving it in minutes?  Why marry a man, when you seem so much happier without him? How can women be so pretty within 30 seconds! To others your sons are amazing-...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) It is critical to create a signed written Caregiver Agreement to set forth who is doing what to care for mom, in exchange for what compensation or reimbursement. This will save you $200K/yr, AND improve care for your mom vs hiring an "angels" service. Today we set forth what is a Caregiver Agreement, and what provisions it should contain. If you have questions,...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Today we are blessed with Carolyn's Story of 2-X cancer, first her's, then her husband's, and what she learned through this valley of death's shadow.  If you wish to share your caregiving story, please email me at Info@helping.mom  

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Daughter Vivian helps us today answer the age-old Q: why we are here, what we are supposed to be doing, and why. These are critical to know, as caregivers. Come let us study together.  

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) I think term "parental control" applies more to regulating your aging parent's cell phone, than your childrens'. Decluttering your mom's phone is like swatting mosquitos in Summer in Indiana--you gotta stay at it. It never stops. With her phone, you must delete apps, eliminate notifiers, and remove access to bank, financial & other accounts on regular basis...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Self-pity is the self-dug grave of caregivers. Why Me, Woe is Me. I dont deserve this, I didnt ask for this. Why dont they, When will they... SP is worsened by our culture of selfishness, our online/on-phone isolation, and breakdown in family structures. SP focuses on what we are losing rather than gaining. But there are 6 things we can do to help, beginning wi...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Nothing is more untrue than, "Sticks & Stones may break bones, BUT WORDS CAN NEVER HURT US." Every pain I have suffered in life, and most I have inflicted on others, has been the result of words--hateful words, mean words, destructive words. Words that tear down, vs build.   Today on helping.mom we talk about a different sub-set of words--what I call "Waste...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) What not to think about is the epitome of positive self-discipline. Think of the squirrel who loses half by thinking of all. The weight of wrong thinking submerges the caregiver, more than the doing of required tasks; our battles are more within than without. Mental minimalism is knowing what NOT to think about, so we can channel available energy, light & f...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) At helping.mom we also love dads! In fact, my hero is the man who does the hard, silent work of being dad, who daily stands by the stuff, with no appreciation. So, how do we love him? Who is he? How does he love us--in his own way? HOW can we better develop our own relationship with him? Gary Chapman offers insight, via his 5 Love Languages: Words, Gifts, Acts,...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) "Meet the New Boss," Pete Townsend wrote, in classic 1971 song "Wont Get Fooled Again." Not sure which is greater--Roger Daltry's scream there, or my mom reading Jesus Christ here in Matthew 9:16-17. Jesus is the New Boss, and he is not like the Old Boss. He does not come to patch holes, or fill gaps. He is the cloth that covers. Take a listen today!   

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Who is this man you are caring for, are married to, or are yourself? Do you know this man who sits quiet at kitchen table, alone, looking far outside? Do you know this man whom you call "sir?" Have you thought today what he is thinking about. Do you know what he has seen--in his own father, in this world, and what he sees in you? The 5-fold duty of dad is to pr...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Widows are like homeless--we define them by what they DONT have. Forever they are labeled in sadness & want. We never hear a Cyndi Lauper song, "Widows, just want to have fun--un!" Teen boys scarce scan their father's mags for a widow centerfold. So, should I date a widow? Can I compete with a dead man? Am I marrying her for HIS money, or is she marrying me...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) HOW do we know being a man married to a wife is MUCH harder than being a wife married to a man? Listen today, as Terry shares facts about widowhood in America. There are 14M widows in USA, and 3.5M widowers (man whose wife has died), with 50,000 new widows added each month. Avg age of widow is much younger than you think--59YOA (which means most are hot!), but...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Paul says 10 things about Jesus Christ in this passage. He is image of God, God in flesh, God incarnate, thus fulfilling 10 Commandments. He is first in time and place over his Creation--which includes evil, dominions, powers & principalities. By Him all is created, and for Him it continues to exist, including all matter and spirit. He is the "gravity" hold...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) The BLUF (bottom-line-up-front) to being an effective Estate Guardian for your mom is "DONT TOUCH THE MONEY!" Her assets are not your own. Dont blend them, steal them, share them, borrow from them or lend to them. Keep a meta-awareness of your actions at all time for/on her behalf, with one eye toward NY Times and the other eye toward God, the Court, and Team y...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Being the medical guardian for your parent is a sticky-wicket, of big picture + fine detail. Here we DO sweat the "small stuff," while trying to stay on the larger path of footsteps we take each day for our parent.  Thankfully the pitch generated by our good intentions and best efforts remain the same, regardless the direction we move the bellows against the re...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) "The only cure for hoarding is a trash dumpster." --Terry  Today is practical--how to order, schedule & fill a trash dumpster. Find a local company; order the 20-yd option at minimum, schedule it at least 2-wks out; get cheap labor from your local high school athletic director; get your neighbors to help share cost; locate dumpster intelligently (you tell d...

Contact Helping. Mom (we don’t spam) Every military veteran in our country, 17 million strong, knows the "Book Answer" is the answer to a question we are required to memorize and regurgitate back, to pass the test, but which we know doesnt work. The book answer to "how to deal with a hoarder" is like this; it doesnt work. Instead, the Boesch Answer is different. Here is what I did. And, I give you...