Hello Dysfunction

Covid is acting a fool, protect your toes! Carolyn takes a fall, grieving is tough, are you being accountable for your own actions? Celebrities and their spouses being frauds, don’t stay with anyone that doesn’t clean themselves and some tardy Happy Birthdays! This week’s tv recommendations are: The Minimalists (Netflix) The Wittman’s (ID Chanel) Obsession: Dark Desires (Hulu)  Check out our spons...

2020 is trying to kill Pata Fria. Always practice fire safety. Having kids later in life might be the way to go and Pee Pee is very spiritual. Wipe your devices before gifting them. Don’t touch hot things. Tinder for corpses is unfortunately not a thing, but do you know a serial killer? Some listener questions and lots of laughs.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  Songbird Nekromantik  Diagnosi...

It’s been a rough week. The vaccine is here, register your sons for a draft?? Some breaking news in really old cases, and the best verzuz yet. Take care of your mental health, some funny work stories and cool things to watch.  This week’s tv recommendations are: Alabama Snake  Murder on Middle Beach  The BeeGees doc  On The Record  The Surgeon’s Cut  Room 1028 Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Rig...

Don’t eat the McRib. Kids say the darndest things. Pata Fria chose comfort, LOCK UP YOUR GUNS, now isn’t the time to travel and beware of secret envy.  This week’s tv recommendation is The Occupant on Netflix.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s...

It’s been a CRAZY week. Irish cream is back, our families aren’t doing well, the covid vaccine is coming. Let’s read more books, weird new citizenship requirements, listener questions and cool things to watch while inside. This week’s tv recommendations are:  Hillbilly Elegy The Kindergarten Teacher  Kennedy Assassination doc Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a dis...

Xmas is here, let the decorating begin!  Covid scares, crazy soup and a platform shoe. Astral projection, helping our communities and cold raviolis. This week’s tv recommendations are: The Art of Racing In The Rain Game of Thrones  and Antebellum  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com...

Rainy days, xmas decorations and cat capes. Independent women jumping batteries, covid is acting up again, don’t be materialistic.  Discrimination, mental health talk and tons of listener write ins!!  Enjoy Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s bett...

New car, new president, cold weather and the holidays are now upon us. A really uncomfortable revelation and tons of great listener write ins!  This weeks tv recommendations are: I Was A Child Bride ; The Untold Story (hulu) The Queen’s Gambit (netflix) Frank Sinatra doc (netflix) A Teacher (hulu)  Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction  ...

It’s election day and we’re stressed. Halloween, nightmares and menopause. Mysterious medical records, men hitting women, dark humor and managing anger.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hello...

Menopause, haircuts and skywriting. Don’t bully your kids, watch out for pipe bombs and always check the walls. Interesting groups, childhood weirdness, we got it all.  PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU VOTE!!! This week’s tv recommendations are: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm and revisiting Nurse Jackie. Join our Patreon! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction   Email us yo...

It’s our 100th episode!!  Please make sure you vote like your life depends on it, if you find money keep it, can we lean more towards home remedies?  Cleaning house and plant studies, keep an eye out for all things spooky.  Tv recommendations for this week are:  Endless, Beautiful Boy and Lovecraft Country.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our liste...

Post office drama, phone overboard, trigger warnings are important and what is the electoral vote! Raccoon babies have arrived, catfish is staged, Saturday is World Mental Health Day.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  Waves I Met The Devil Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction   Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gma...

Beware of guitar picks, Dottie is happy, baby and Carolyn are getting sassy. Halloween is cancelled, PLEASE make sure you vote.  *Trigger warning: domestic abuse is discussed* This week’s tv recommendations are American Murder: The Family Next Door, The Eddy, and The Getaway.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first mon...

We’re back! Hospital nightmares, no skin checks, vaginas do bleach panties. Monitor your kid’s zoom messages and don’t scream in the bank. Ratched is this week’s tv recommendation. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Join our...

Our new baby is here!!  The rough ride is finally over, Crystal is healing with a frustrating new side effect, please wash yourself thoroughly before receiving a service.  We can’t hang out with problematic celebrities and as a rule, let’s continue learning and becoming a better you every year.  Queen & Slim is this week’s tv recommendation.   Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now Better...

Today’s the big day!  Taco Bell KEEPS breaking our heart, Crystal is experiencing some interesting nasal changes, we share secrets on this podcast. Celebrity disappointments, the fires are consuming A LOT, please don’t ejaculate your pets.  This week’s tv recommendations are The King of Staten Island and Married At First Sight.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a...

Crystal updates us on her surgery while Pata Fria prepares for hers. Family drama, lots of bullsh*tting on OF, an injured testicle. A funny work story, a listener write-in, and you’ll never look at butter knives the same.  This week’s tv recommendations are In The Dark, 1BR, Married At First Sight, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is...

Crystal is nervous about surgery and guys are really gross. Our air quality is awful and depression is on the rise. Kittens are available! vaginas weren't made for men and please use extreme care when introducing step-parents into your family. I May Destroy You, Perry Mason and The Rain are this week's tv suggestions. Stay safe and don't forget to subscribe! Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodys...

This week we’re celebrating Crystal’s birthday, playing matchmaker and calling out bullshit. Unexpected places to blow off steam, listener write-ins and probably the worst birthing story you’ve ever heard. Stay cool, stay safe and subscribe xo Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction   Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gma...

Waking up to some bad news, Crystal is Snow White in her dreams and don't ever question what someone else is purchasing. Fruit cocktail is tied to some uncomfortable memories, new paranormal things are happening and micro penises are more common than you think.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to...

Crystal is dressed like The Ultimate Warrior, Pata Fria is having contractions. Wear clean underwear for your medical procedures. Don’t have strangers text your kids, if you want Dottie or Crystal’s attention use cheese. Pregnancy really causes some unexpected surprises and body modifications have reached shocking new levels.  Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: inst...

Welcome back...some babies have arrived, court went well, cats cast spells, watch out for things sucking your feet! Check expiration dates everywhere, don’t joke about anyone’s trauma, utilize social media now more than ever and bring back products from the 80s!  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over t...

We’re back with a bang and good news from our doctors! Crystal had a long visit inside a small chamber, spiders can’t be trusted, keep your kids close but give your doggies some space. Try new meats and always be aware of your surroundings. Some difficult news and code switching isn’t a good thing after all. Are re-born dolls doing more harm than good?  Enjoy xo

California is shut back down, we might lose the Oakland zoo, Crystal and Kevin made the news! Stop following problematic artists, Oklahoma natives are owed some rent and some listener write-ins are discussed.  Wear a mask, people.  Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discoun...

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Fires, no sleep, bubonic plague and firecrackers. Racists exposing themselves, a sad election and a couple fights. Always put your own well being first and get out of your comfort zone.  Enjoy xo.