Hello Dysfunction

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Leo the cat used one of his lives and vets are kinda like car salesman. The art show is next week so buy your tickets now! PeePee is a true intellectual. Some twins are EXTRA close and Crystal discovered an awful fetish.  Check out this week’s sponsors!  • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to...

Crystal has boob sweat, Pata Fria’s back is broken. Pay attention to signs from the universe, love your friends while they’re here, Pata Fria is planning yet another surgery and Crystal loves 80s mullets.  This week’s tv recommendations are: High On The Hog (Netflix) Outcry (Showtime)  Check out this week’s sponsors!  • Hella Infused  High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products.  Black w...

There’s a cat in the room and it’s Bunny’s birthday!! Crystal had a Reno getaway, Pata Fria’s had a busy busy week. DNA testing, c-sections are serious, Crystal loves the Tootsie Roll.  This week’s tv recommendations are: • 7 Deadly Sins (Showtime)  • The Accused (Hulu) Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first...

This week we tried something new and linked with the Judge Us Not podcast for some male perspective! We hope you enjoy!  Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area...

Pray we aren’t getting sick, keep an eye on creepy teachers, technology is really changing lives. There’s now a huge free resource for sex workers, don’t defend your children’s wrongdoings. A genital anomaly, let’s all educate ourselves on gender and sexuality.  This week’s tv recommendation is:  • Gender Revolution: A Journey w Katie Couric (Disney +)  Check out this week’s sponsor! • HB Crystals...

Crystal has dry socket, Pata Fria doesn’t have new brows but she does have new bras. Hackers are active on IG and we’re just constantly reminded how awful humans are. Don’t lie to AAA and don’t be afraid to ask where someone got their butt done.  Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to bett...

Crystal is a registered foster dog mom, Pata Fria had a really nice bday. Nothing ever goes smooth so just laugh.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  • Ultimate Warrior documentary (A&E) • The State of Texas vs Melissa (Hulu)  Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and...

Gemini season is upon us, don’t be outside with a dookie stain, urine therapy is not real and pregnancy fetish is pretty popular. Piercing is much worse the second time around, Crystal is still expanding her vocabulary and the human body is amazing.  This week’s tv recommendations are: • Hoarders (Netflix)  • Unhinged (Amazon) Check out this week’s sponsor!  • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is of...

Happy Mother’s Day, warm weather is upon us, Pata Fria is being responsible. Everybody doesn’t need kids, go thru your family’s texts, Crystal loves vibrating beds.  The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction   Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction   Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmai...

A day late and a dollar short. Crystal is missing her foster puppy and Pata Fria had a rollercoaster of a week. Beware of ticks, scabies and Californians may have an accent.  Check out this week’s sponsor!  • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The...

Crystal has vertigo and a close relationship with AAA. Covid is still here, Rest In Peace CY. Pata Fria is liking her meds but being around people is still rough. Noise bothers you more when you get older, be careful with life coaches.  This week’s tv recommendations are: • Insecure (HBO)  • I Care A Lot (Netflix) again lol  • The Family I Had (Amazon)  • Exterminate All The Brutes (HBO) Check out...

We had some technical difficulties recording this episode, bear with us. Pata Fria is planning another surgery, Crystal had a run in with the cops. Bra shopping isn’t a good time and don’t hoard your Meals On Wheels containers!  This weeks tv recommendations are: • 2020 (Hulu) The Chameleon and Tangled Web episodes • Them (Amazon prime) • The Lie (Amazon prime)  Check out this week’s sponsor!  • B...

Crystal’s favorite store is gone, Billy is at it again, don’t see clients in Discovery Bay and monitor your kid’s porn searches. Happy Birthday Mark and Pata Fria’s dreams are still outta control.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  Koncrete podcast’s YouTube episode featuring Mark Laita of Soft White Underbelly.  The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Join...

April Fools, Easter and making sure everyone showers. Crystal is still betraying Pata Fria in her dreams and both are fully vaccinated. Don’t rush your happiness, 30s are when the REAL fun starts and we’ve never regretted breaking up with anyone.  Check out this week’s sponsor!  • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to bet...

The hot weather is not appreciated, Crystal is BACK in FB jail, Sharon Osbourne is shit, Chet Hanks is embarrassing. The universe is hella funny sometimes, spirits are acting up, let us keep our body parts and now we know how Natalia really feels.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  • Q: Into The Storm (HBO) • Seaspiracy (Netflix)  • Beauties of The Night (Netflix)  • Tina (HBO)  • The Shining (...

Crystal nearly dislocated her shoulder, Pata Fria’s dysfunctional trip to the snow, Billy loves Elvis, onlygrans, watch your mouth on the phone and keep it cute on clubhouse.  This week’s podcast recommendations are: • Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette! • Sword and Scale episodes 177, 178, and 180. Check out this week’s sponsors!  • Hella Infused  High quality handmade CBD infused products.  B...

Nostalgic cravings, an old dumb monarchy, there’s always gold in the comments. Sharon Osbourne is gross, we love positive examples of sex workers, virginity is a societal construct.  This week’s podcast recommendation is Radical Musings with Rosanna Arquette!  Check out this week’s sponsors!  • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month he...

Crystal is emotional, Pata Fria is not Italian. Stretch your butthole. Post our dead pics. How to hire a hooker and mosquito-eaters are harmless.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  •Meghan Harry Oprah interview (PBS) • Bliss (Prime)  • Biggie doc (Netflix)  •Pretend It’s A City (Netflix)  Check out this week’s sponsor!  Hella Infused  Highly recommended handmade CBD infused products.  Black wom...

Crystal got her final vaccine, Pata Fria has gerd. Don't have power trips while driving and be very careful using uber and lyft. Cute puppies, perform a random act of kindness, stalkers are no fun and some unfortunate news stories.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  I Care A Lot (Netflix)  Buried by the Bernards (Netflix) Canine Intervention (Netflix)  Allen v. Farrow (HBO Max) The number for c...

We’re entering the world of video. Crystal’s cat has fallen in love. Acid reflux feels like death is near. There’s a teen missing from Richmond. Cleaning your eyelash extensions is a must. Is there really a such thing as “just friends”? And nevermind the expiration dates.  This weeks tv recommendations are: Soft White Underbelly: “Faith” episode (YouTube)  Judas and The Black Messiah (HBO) War Dog...

Disrespectful dreams. Carolyn gets a haircut. What do you want to be when you grow up? The truth from Doug. Wishing Tessica the best. Sex work really is empowering and witchcraft won the Super Bowl.  This week’s tv recommendations are: Jersey Shore  Season 3 of The Sinner  The number for covid testing in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is...

It’s been a really dysfunctional week.  The original is always better than a copy. There’s been a horrible local murder. Awkward parenting moments, the disgusting wealth gap and some great listener write ins.  This week’s book recommendation is:  How To Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere by Larry King  The number for covid testing in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Check out this week’s sponsor! • Bette...

It’s raining it’s pouring, Crystal got the vaccine and is in Facebook jail, AGAIN! Constipated babies, postpartum hair loss and Pata Fria might not be asexual after all. Eskimo sisters, don’t tattoo animals and stay out of ppl’s trash!  This week’s tv recommendation is:  Tell Me Who I Am (Netflix)  The number for covid testing in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Check out this week’s sponsor! • Syma’s P...

Crystal blows a nervous kiss, we reintroduce ourselves and Pata Fria’s mom hates green. Michigan is taking steps in the right direction, aggressive hippos are throwing off ecosystems and don’t get braces at anyone’s home.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  Night Stalker (Netflix) Unforgotten: 25yrs after Willowbrook (tubi) An American Crime (tubi) Hard Candy (tubi)  Book recommendations:  A Chi...

Crystal thought she had Covid. Coffee is just a blindfold. Take care of your credit and cheese is more addicting than crack. Vaping isn’t safer than cigs and please don’t call our phones or do emergency break-thrus.  This week’s tv recommendations are:  Dear Mr. Gacy (on Tubi)  Surviving Death (Netflix)  The number for covid testing in your area:  1-888-634-1123 Check out this week’s sponsor! • Sy...