Heart Versus Head

In the words of the great philosopher, Dr. Gregory House, "Everybody lies." In relationships lies can erode away trust or create conflicts in values that do more harm than telling the truth. But is it okay to lie? Maybe just a white lie? Or to tell them their new shirt looks great? Or to fake it in bed? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explain why Hearts and Heads lie for different rea...

There are some defining moments in every relationship. There's the moment you fall in love. There's the moment you realize they love you. And there's THE MOMENT your partner screws it up and lets you down. In this episode, Randy and Beverly talk through the moment Beverly let Randy down... because he ain't no Nicholas Sparks. Listen with your partner and talk about the moments...

It's the peak of the summer season and that means ice cream. I scream... you scream... we all scream for ... dating to be easier. Why can't I find my person? In this episode, Beverly and Randy discuss how picking a different flavor might serve you well - in ice cream and dating.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship styles i...

In this episode, Beverly tells the story of the time she reacted out of anger and frustration and did something terrible. The story leads to a discussion about addiction, disappointment, anger and hope. Is there a murderous twist to the story? What do you do when you reach the end of your rope?  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship st...

What's the key ingredient that will predict success in repairing or improving your relationship? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explain why both partners having a willingness to learn makes all the difference in the world. And they go on a crazy aside about how infidelity isn't what sinks most relationships.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles a...

In this episode Beverly has a concept for how to be less controlling in all of your relationships. Basically, think of your partner as a space alien. Listen and learn why thinking this way could really, positively change your relationship with your partner, your kids and even your best friends.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship st...

While Heads will often focus on the emotional chaos of being in a relationship with a Heart partner, there's something important that can get missed beneath all that. In this episode, Randy tells the story of the moment he knew that Beverly was the perfect partner... at least, perfect for him. It's a short episode since Beverly is off island for the day but it's an important message...

What are the things that you brought to your relationship? Do you have specific beliefs about what it means to be loved? Are there things your partner should "just know" that they should do to show that they love you? In this episode, Randy and Beverly discuss how our individual definitions of love are formed and why humans naturally (and wrongly) assume that everyone does it the same wa...

One of the biggest challenges in relationship communication is when you try to make your partner happy and they're trying to make you happy. It can end up with frustration and NOBODY being happy. In this episode, Randy and Beverly take on why focusing on your partner's happiness only works if you actually know what they want and need - and most partners get that wildly wrong. #HeartVersu...

Do you love your partner or are you in love with that wonderful feeling of being in love? It's easy for our brain to like the wonderful feeling of the early stages of being in love but it can trick our brain into believing that love will always feel that way. That leaves a lot of Hearts feeling disappointed and Heads feeling frustrated. Let's talk about it. In this episode, Randy and Bev...

Sometimes couples need to argue. Maybe a boundary has been crossed. Maybe your partner and you can't agree on the next car to get - Randy and Beverly had that fight. So how do you have a tough discussion without someone becoming immediately angry, defensive or withdrawing completely? In this episode, you and your partner can learn the best way to start an argument so that you don't start...

Heads tend to compartmentalize everything. Hearts are more likely to flow things together that are linked by similar emotions. This can lead to conflict in a relationship when we don't understand it or assume that our partner does it the same way as we do. Putting things in boxes also makes the Head partner seem like an uncaring narcissist or unfeeling robot. Lumping things together makes the...

Randy and Beverly dive into how people use things like names, pet names, and familiar phrases to create connectivity in relationships. The things people say might mean different things depending on the context but most couples don't really talk about what these common things really mean... and they're missing out on a really connecting conversation. If you're looking for ways to con...

In this episode, Randy and Beverly discuss how relationships are often seen as "bad" in a moment when a broader view might help both partners see things a little differently. When relationships encounter trouble, the human brain goes into protection mode and notices all the bad stuff, while almost completely ignoring the good stuff. Plus, in this episode, you get to learn the word agatho...

Well, what did you expect? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explore why Hearts and Heads face so many challenges with expectations and why it is so important to talk about them before the trouble shows up. From completely different vacation expectations to not knowing what to do when our partner is crying... we expect that this episode will have a little something for every couple.  Send us Fan...

In this episode, Randy and Beverly take a deeper look at how needs influence relationship satisfaction and why it's so darn tricky for Hearts and Heads to talk about what they really need in the relationship. From love and respect to topics like intimacy, couples are often focused on the wrong things in the wrong ways. Learn to talk about what you need in a more useful way.  Send us Fan Mail...

In this episode, Randy and Beverly continue to explore the reasons that couples fight: different values, unmet needs and miscommunicated expectations, VNEs. This episode focuses on values, the deep core beliefs that form in our early years and shape the way we live, communicate and love later in life.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relation...

What if you could de-code the conflict in your relationship? In this episode, Randy and Beverly explain the three reasons that couples disagree, argue and fight. By understanding the different values, needs and expectations we have from our partner, we can more easily communicate and find common ground. Relationship disagreements always come down to different values, unmet needs or missed expectat...

How much time and energy do you spend trying to keep your partner happy? In this episode, we'll discuss why everyone is going to fail at making someone else constantly happy. If you're ready to stop trying to guess the secret code for your partner's happiness, then give this episode a quick listen. Honesty is less work than mind reading and generally yields better results in relatio...

Why is it so dang hard to make a collaborative decision? Why are Hearts so passive? Why do Heads get so frustrated and short with this stuff? If you've ever argued over something simple - like where to eat - then this podcast will explain how Hearts and Heads can create more natural communication in the relationship so that you both can enjoy a little happiness.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus...

Why are Head partners constantly trying to fix everything for their Heart partner? When the Heart partner has a bad day, the Head partner is right there to offer generally unwanted advice... and that leads to fights that don't need to happen. If you both want to make your relationship a lot easier, check out this episode as Randy and Beverly dive into why you should never fix a vent.  Send us...

Randy and Beverly discuss being offended from the Head and Heart perspective. This episode covers: How triggers sneak into our daily interactions and why not to call your partner a monkey.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship styles influence communication in the most important relationships. The hosts - Randy Hampton and Beverly Cra...

A casual conversation turns into a conversation about why Hearts feel so darn much and Heads seem to feel nothing. At all. Ever. Dive deeper with Randy and Beverly as they talk about cockroaches and kittens and much, much more.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship styles influence communication in the most important relationships. Th...

All couples have petty arguments. You are, after all, two different people. We discuss how to overcome the small disagreements and watch for the bigger issues behind these arguments. We also provide some techniques that Heads and Hearts can use to bicker more effectively... and bring back some fun banter.   Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those rel...

Listen as Randy and Beverly discuss why there's so darn much pressure on Head partners when it comes to Valentine's Day. And they'll share the secret - at least their secret - for making sure that holidays don't turn into fights, even if someone gets a vacuum cleaner.  Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship styles in...