Heal With Kimile

The step of introducing the new partner to the family and friends is a big one, but can be risky for the relationship. In this episode Kimile goes over what can go wrong when someone’s family doesn’t like the partner, what causes this and how to deal with it. Issues usually arise when one partner doesn’t have strong boundaries with their family and doesn’t stand up to sniping and unpleasantness, o...

Sometimes people can seem to be on an emotional roller-coaster, with mood swings and inconsistent and unexpected behaviour, but this may not be their fault. They may be in a relationship with an oppressive person. An oppressive person represses and puts down their partner, thriving on negativity and exploiting their emotions and thriving in their suffering and guilt. But why do we get into these r...

Entering a new relationship is thrilling, but as time goes on, challenges can surface. In this episode, Kimile shares her expert advice on how to lay a strong foundation from the start. Committing to a serious relationship is a monumental decision—you're choosing someone you envision a future with. But do you really know who they are, and do they truly know you? Kimile dives into the importance of...

The Number 1 Complaint Most Couples Have With Each Other Join Kimile on this episode as she talks about the number 1 issues that couples complain about in their relationship, lack of communication. It’s sadly common than in a relationship one or both people may feel unheard, or under appreciated. When a relationship is fresh and new communication is common and enthusiastic, but once commitment set...

Learning from failure We often learn to fear failure and let it compromise our self worth, but what lessons have you learned from success? Kimile believes that the most important lessons are the ones we learn when we stumble and fail, as long as we face the failure and use it to teach us and strengthen us. We grow physically stronger from pain and resistance, and the same happens with mental and e...

The Real Dangers of Hiding Your True Self Relationships can be complicated things, and when we feel we can’t be our true selves, or tell the whole truth they get more complicated. Maybe one partner has secrets, or has done something they can’t share and it casts a shadow. In this episode Kimile is going to share some truths that may be uncomfortable, because in a relationship if one partner cheats...

The Truth About the Mid-life Crisis - Ageing, Relationships and Family We’re all familiar with the cliché of the mid-life crisis. A middle-aged man gets a fancy sports car, starts dressing too young, maybe has an affair. But join Kimile Pendleton in this episode as she examines what a mid-life crisis is and shows that it really happens to everyone in their late 30s early 40s, men and women alike....

What is the Real Truth behind your Relationship Problems A relationship isn’t always easy, but if fighting is common or there is regularly hostility there may be deeper issues to examine. Join Kimile in this episode as she goes over relationship red flags and what they signify. Because a fight isn’t always just a fight. In some relationships one partner may instigate an argument to prevent close e...

What Can Kill A Relationship Even if a relationship is built on love and affection that may not always be enough. There could be fundamental incompatibilities or behaviours that can be fatal to a partnership. From fairly small things like different approaches to tidiness and ideas of what constitutes a good time, to far more serious issues like breaches of trust, infidelity and incompatible plans...

Is the Passion Real or a Rebound? After the end of a long term relationship the one that comes next can be tricky to navigate, because how we process the new relationship can be distorted by what came before, and maybe we need the time to truly grieve and process that loss. Which is why often the next relationship can be the good old rebound. So are you in an exciting new partnership full of fun a...

Is Your Partner Truly Present In Your Relationship? Are You? Relationships can be a revolving door, with partners never truly committing. Or sometimes long term relationships can peter out as communication comes to an end and distractions leak into your shared life. One or more people could have a ‘relationship’ with their phone, just constantly disconnected from their family. Or be seeking emotio...

Is That New Person Relationship Ready? Advice looking for Red Flags and Pitfalls in New Romance Have you found yourself in the warm glow of a fresh romance, but is your new partner ready for a healthy relationship? It may seem unfair to go into a relationship looking for problems but it’s important to be open and clear eyed about potential red-flags. Things like love bombing, when your new partner...

Kimile is answering another relationship question from a listener this week, and it’s a big one! How does one deal with loss? Most people deal with loss by ignoring it and hoping they just feel better, but this is how you end up collapsing later when things seem to be going well or getting into a destructive cycle. Kimile will walk you through the ways loss manifests as unhealthy behaviours and ho...

Most relationships start out with the honeymoon period where everything is fresh and exciting, but what happens when the initial sparks fade and you’re faced with the reality of a relationship with another, complex human being? Often this is when the power struggles and fights start as traumas and burdens from the past start to manifest in the new relationship. But it’s possible to rebuild the con...

Relationship Q&A: Trust And Patience In Relationships Kimile is hearing from a lot of people so she’s asking some more questions, covering topics like: How to come to terms with a husband’s affair What do you do when your husband doesn’t want you to change? Has a trauma in a relationship meant your spouse is distrustful? Is a cheater always a cheater? How long does the new relationship phase l...

Spotting a Predator: Mysterious Motivations And Love Bombing CW: mention of child abuse, domestic violence Have you ever met someone who has given you a bad feeling, yet they have really pursued you with a slightly disturbing single-mindedness? Have you given them a chance? This episode Kimile talks about the perils and pitfalls of meeting the predator. How they can love-bomb and wear you down to...

How Not To Get Rollercoastered: Dealing With A Partner Who Seems To Over-React Sometimes the people in our live, friends, family partners may seem to over-react or lash out at minor upsets. It may be as simple as being short of rest or needing a meal, but sometimes a person cannot be calmed down, and they seem determined to be angry at you Often in a secure relationship someone feels secure enough...

CW: Mention of Child Abuse This episode Kimile is taking some questions! One writer has had a relationship fall apart and is wondering what they did wrong? Answer, nothing! But Kimile will give you a guide on avoiding falling for a relationship hustle. Another is facing divorce, but is stressed about lack or resources. Kimile has wisdom for that situation as well. Yet another is having problems wi...

This week Kimile shares the story of one of her clients, a young woman with a bad instinct for relationships, and Kimile will dig through why she selects harmful partners. She then will talk about how the relationships people have with their parents and loved ones have repercussions with their adult relationships in later life. Was a parent absent, or did they leave? What results will this have on...

The Perils When Grandparents Become Primary Caretakers It’s sadly not that uncommon that tragic circumstances lead to grandparents needing to take care of their grandchildren. Often they feel like the logical ones to step in when their own children pass away leaving dependents. But it can be a minefield for the whole family as the usual grandparent/grandchild dynamic is thrown into conflict with t...

Moods Are Shadows Of The Past Cast on Our Future We all have good moods and bad moods. But like a mindset many of us have a mood-set, a default emotional state that can have repercussions though our lives and relationships and we don’t even know about them. These moodsets are often the result of experiences early in our lives and we can find ourselves angry, sad or desperate in situations that don...

Holding On to Victimhood It’s sadly common for someone in a relationship to be hurt by their partners, but how we deal with that hurt is so important to our well-being and that of those around us. While it’s not our fault if we get hurt, how we respond is a choice. We can deal with what has been done to us and move on in a healthy way, or we can hang on to that victimhood, and use it to give us li...

Moving Forward After Betrayal If you’ve been betrayed, how do you move forward? If people have caused you pain, should you forgive or forget? In this episode Kimile will guide you through the nuances of coming to terms with past mistreatment and the importance of dealing with that in a way that frees you from the burden of carrying that pain. If you simply forgive when people have hurt you, it may...

Coming To Terms With Betrayal This episode Kimile talks betrayal! But while betrayal can completely destroy a relationship, often people decide to remain in that relationship. What does this mean? It it a good idea to try maintain connection in the face of betrayal? Betrayal can take many forms, from affairs to hiding illicit spending, so how does a relationship survive this? And what happens if i...

Rebuilding Your Purpose Often life events can leave people feeling directionless and lost and this week Kimile talks about how events can leave people lost. If someone is used to taking charge and being needed, events like the loss of a job or the breakdown of a relationship can take away a lynchpin of their identity, meaning their sense of self and how they present to the world breaks down. But e...