Heal from Infidelity: Reclaiming Your Peace, Power, and Self-Trust After Betrayal

Most of us don't know how to feel. We find all kinds of creative ways to block our emotions, mostly because we weren't taught how to feel, or were shut down when we did express a feeling. In this episode, guest Sariah Bastian will share her story of going from years of unhealthy marriages and being cut off from herself to becoming an expert in finding safety inside her own body. Sariah is a betray...

We all deal with problems in different ways, but attachment theory can shed some light on why you do the things you do, and why infidelity has affected you in the way that it has. In this episode, you'll learn what attachment theory is and the three different types of attachment. You'll also learn how to develop into the kind of attachment that will help you show up in your intimate relationships...

If you listen to podcasts and read self-help books, you have probably heard the terms "abundance mindset" and "scarcity mindset." However, in this episode I will be talking about each of those things and how they pertain to you and your life. There are four areas where we experience abundance and scarcity (time, money, relationships and health). When we learn how to experience abundance in one are...

To truly move forward from infidelity, internal changes need to be made. When we change on the inside, it becomes impossible to be the same as we were on the outside. It is very possible that our changes become uncomfortable for others to be around, which can make us second guess ourselves and our growth. In this episode, you'll hear about 3 different clients and how I helped them navigate the cha...

Most of us don't look forward to pain. We often resist it, run away from it, or go into painful experiences with dread and fear. In this episode, I'll shed some light on how our most painful moments can become the most useful, and even sacred experiences we draw from. Whether it is emotional or physical pain, we can use the power of our minds to not only help us manage our pain, but to make it a p...

As humans, we love certainty. We want to know all the details of exactly how things are going to transpire. Because we are not always privy to that information, we tend to talk ourselves out of goals, desires and dreams. What if the "how" is none of our business? Are you willing to release yourself from needing to know all the details? In this episode, you'll learn why letting go of the how will o...

It makes perfect sense that our brains scan for things we know. But it can be very misleading. All the best things are in front of us. When we look to the past, we miss out on the opportunity to create the life we want. We have so much capacity to grow, to become, to create. But if we don't know how to envision it and go after it, we fall back into old patterns. In this episode, I will teach you h...

Regret is an emotion that we all feel, but that we will do almost anything to avoid. The fear of regret can keep us stalled out, not taking the actions that will create the life we want. In this episode, you'll learn why you don't need to be afraid of regret. You'll understand how regret can be both useful and harmful, and how to leverage it for your good. When we stop fearing emotions, we are wil...

Who are you? What do you think of yourself? When is the last time you really asked yourself those questions? Where do you go for the answers? Your own thoughts or what you think others believe of you? Most of us look outside ourselves to determine our self-esteem and self worth. It then becomes a moving target - as long as people tell us what we want to hear we're ok, but when they stop, then what...

When life throws us unexpected trials and curve balls, it can be easy to slip into doubt and fear. We can forget the hard-won lessons we have learned, become overwhelmed and lose sight of who we are and where we are going. In this episode, I'll share five things that I know for sure. These five things have helped me throughout my life to navigate those times where everything seems upside-down. My...

Do you ever cringe when you hear that someone is being "such a victim"? We often carry such harsh judgement around this way of being, although most of us slip into it throughout our lives. In this episode, I'll explain what victim mentality really is and all the various ways it shows up. It can be sneaky and seem very justified, but in letting it stick around can cause all kinds of unnecessary pai...

Do you know what your values are or why they matter? We often hear of companies having values but skim over the importance of knowing and living by our own. In this episode, we're going to dive in to what values are and how they can help guide decisions, know what to say yes and no to, and set parameters around where you will let your mind wander to. Knowing your values is crucial as you create a...

Pain is a natural part of life. We all experience loss, grief, and transitions. Suffering, however, is optional. In this episode you'll learn the difference between the natural pain that comes with life events, and suffering that comes from our thoughts about those events. A great predictor of the experience of one's life is how well they learn to manage their mind around their circumstances. The...

Boundaries are often misunderstood. Many view them as a means to control another person, a way to gain power over someone, or as something that will hurt the relationship. The truth is that a properly set boundary invites intimacy and trust. In this episode, I will be clearing up exactly what a boundary is, and what it isn't. You will understand: How clear boundaries strengthen relationships How t...

Forgiveness can be a touchy subject. Why should we forgive someone who has caused us so much pain? I get it. In this episode, I'll shed some light on how forgiveness is not actually for them- it is for you. I'll go over what forgiveness is, and what it isn't. Some of the ideas people believe about forgiveness are faulty and create additional pain. We'll uncover those and learn what forgiveness rea...

Marriages can survive infidelity. But can the couple really thrive? This is a question I get asked a lot, and in this episode you'll understand why the answer is a resounding YES! Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity requires some specific tools and mindset shifts. It requires resiliency, curiosity, and a determination to change the narrative surrounding the infidelity. In this episode, you'll l...

Pornography in marriages can feel threatening, shameful and impossible to overcome. In today's episode, guests Lindsay and Danny Poelman share their story of overcoming the grip of pornography and creating a marriage much stronger than the one they had before. For so many, porn use can feel crippling. Many men (and women) feel intense shame around porn use which ultimately keeps them stuck. In thi...

Frequently called "the green-eyed monster," jealousy is an emotion we don't often want to admit experiencing. We judge ourselves for feeling it, as we wonder what is wrong with us, and wind up in all kinds of painful mind drama. After experiencing infidelity, jealousy can feel like a constant companion. Those pesky intrusive thoughts that creep in? The images you see? The incessant thoughts about...

Most of us have been conditioned our entire lives with the messaging that we should just be happy and filled with pleasure at all times. When we don't feel happy all the time, we avoid the negative emotion by buffering from what is actually real. In this episode, you'll learn the real reasons why you buffer, and what it is costing you. When we buffer, we give ourselves a false sense of safety and...

Perfection is a myth, yet so many of us think that we should be perfect to be acceptable and loveable. We can easily fall into being over-achievers or under-achievers, both as veils to hide our perceived insecurities and flaws. This kind of thinking stifles our own development, and keeps us from developing real, vulnerable relationships with others where we allow ourselves to be seen. We may also...

When life doesn't go the way we thought it would, it can be easy to blame God. Sometimes in our darkest moments we can wonder if He abandoned us. In this episode, guest David Butler and I will be discussing ways to cope with this painful experience. David Butler is a best-selling author, co-host of the acclaimed "Don't Miss This" podcast, and educator. His unique view on God and scripture brings i...

In this episode, I'll be diving into why it is worth leaning into the "cognitive dissonance," or the space in between black and white where things feel a little more fuzzy. It is in this space that we grow. We try on new ideas, understand others on a deeper level, and create a safe place for ourselves, even when we don't have all the answers. Even more importantly, when we can allow the discomfort...

Thoughts create our feelings, but feelings are the fuel that create our experience with life. When we learn to leverage the power of feelings, there is nothing you are unwilling to do, because you will be willing to feel any emotion in service of the result you want most. In this episode, you will learn specific tools that will help you create the emotion that you want, and have an understanding o...

When faced with an uncomfortable situation, our natural tendency is to get out as quickly as possible. Sometimes we physically or emotionally check out in an attempt to avoid pain. In today's episode, you'll learn why your greatest growth comes from increasing your tolerance to discomfort - not avoiding it altogether. By paying attention to what we want most in life, our willingness to allow disco...

When faced with decisions, our brains automatically point out all the things we don't know, all the reasons it won't work, and why we should be afraid. In this podcast, you'll learn why starting with what you do know will help you solve what you don't. For as long as humans have existed, our primal response to any kind of threat or danger is to get defensive, confused, and go looking for safety ou...