Happily Ever After is Just the Beginning

Many people believe the adage that marriage is the place that sex goes to die. The truth is that married people have more and better sex on average than single people. But what if your marriage doesn’t meet the average? Yes, any long-term relationship can become stale. That, however, is a matter of choice not destiny. If you want to be the couple that still is having regular and satisfying sex int...

If you’re like most people, you didn’t really know what you were getting into when you said, “I do.” You were in love and it was the step you wanted to take in your relationship. What else did you need to know? You probably have an answer to that today and it’s a big question. What most of us don’t know about marriage is huge and it leads to unhappiness and divorce. Gerald Rogers, transformational...

Research shows that children are one of the worst things that can happen to marriage. Once children come on the scene, marital satisfaction takes a big hit. But having children is one of the reasons couples decide to get married. So, what exactly happens once those bundles of joy arrive that causes this stress? Exhaustion, no time, exhaustion, changed body image, changed focus, and, did I mention,...

In a word, yes. But not in the way most people think. A popular view of a Soul Mate is someone who immediately knows everything about you without you saying a word. It is a belief that, if you can just find your perfect match, all your hurts will be healed and your life will be smooth and carefree. But as Charles F. Glassman said, “Before you find your soul mate, you must first discover your soul....

Is “Busy” your answer to the question, “How are you?” For a lot of us, that seems to be the standard response. Not only does it seem to be the new normal, it seems to be the new status symbol. But accepting this as a daily practice has its costs, especially to your marriage. If you rate your marriage as fine or okay, you may be putting it on the back burner while you are “busy” with everything els...

Despite their angelic looks, babies are really quite the troublemakers. At least that’s what a recent study found when examining the impact of major life changes on a person’s happiness. Having a newborn was ranked more disruptive—a 1.4 change rating—than either a death or divorce—only 1.0. Madison Avenue sells us on what I call the Johnson & Johnson myth, the beautifully attired, every hair in pl...

I’ve always said that a good marriage is boring to outsiders. The two people in it aren’t bored but it would never keep an audience. This is because they have learned to keep any drama to a minimum. The challenge is that this lack of drama is neither taught nor really supported. Let’s face it, drama sells—on television, on Instagram, on Twitter. However, drama is not good for family peace and harm...

I’ve always said that a good marriage is boring to outsiders. The two people in it aren’t bored but it would never keep an audience. This is because they have learned to keep any drama to a minimum. The challenge is that this lack of drama is neither taught nor really supported. Let’s face it, drama sells—on television, on Instagram, on Twitter. However, drama is not good for family peace and harm...

As Dr. Phil says, “Sometimes you make the right decision and sometimes you make the decision right.” After being together for a while, some people tell themselves that they didn’t marry the right person, they never really loved each other, so there is really no way to make it better. In other words, they made the wrong decision. What they don’t realize is that they may be focusing on the wrong thi...

Hard as it may seem to believe, divorce can be contagious. If those closest to you are getting divorced, it can impact how you view your marriage. Maybe you see some of the same challenges in your marriage and you might start to wonder if you will be headed down the same path. But this doesn’t have to be a given because the reverse is also true. Being around successfully married couples can actual...

One of the challenges to being part of a relationship is you have a built-in scapegoat. When things aren’t going the way we want, the first place many of us look is at our partner. Yes, they play a role in what the relationship looks like, but so do we. We bring our fears, self-doubts, and unproductive relationship behavior to the table but are often unaware of the impact. Unfortunately, those ver...

Privacy vs secrecy, who decides? This is just one of the many challenges married couples face. What one person sees as maintaining personal space and sense of self, the other sees as keeping secrets. Who’s right? Who decides? Since a good marriage is based on trust, and trust is based on honesty, the health of your marriage depends on how you and your partner answer these questions. Liz Higgins, m...

For many, cheating is the one thing they say they won’t accept in a relationship. But, when it happens, that choice isn’t always so clear cut. And that comes as a big surprise to many people. The mixed feelings that occur when infidelity is discovered makes clear thinking and decisive action more difficult. Yes, infidelity is painful and causes more problems than it solves. However, it doesn’t hav...

Most people get married because they love each other. Maybe that's the >reason you did, too. The problem is not thinking past that. It's easy to fall in love with many different people but they may not be good matches for a lifetime. There is a lot more to having a happy marriage than love.  Kenyan Smith ( http://www.iamkpsmith.com/) , author and relationship coach, explains what else you need to...

Whether we like it or not, the only constant in life is change. In all honesty, most of us don’t like it, especially in our relationships. We want things to be predictable and comfortable. Unfortunately, that can let your marriage grow dull and boring. The passion fades, but it doesn’t have to, no matter how long you have been together. Mali Apple and Joe Dunn, relationship coaches and the authors...

While not all fights are about money, and not all couples struggle with this issue, it is at the heart of some of the hardest and most heated ones. You might not think that the straightforward numbers in a bank account would create such problems. After all, it’s simple addition and subtraction, right? Not for a lot of marriages; maybe even yours. Elizabeth Wilson, financial coach and founder of Fi...

Have you ever been shocked by a couple you thought had a great marriage when they announce they’re getting a divorce? Was there an affair? Out-of-control fighting? Money trouble? It was probably none of the above. Most divorces are the result of much less. When you hear not to sweat the small stuff, you think that means the little things your partner complains about. But not paying attention to th...

All couples fight, right? It’s okay as long as you fight fair and make up afterward. At least that’s what the experts say. But those experts are wrong. Not only is fighting fair an oxymoron, it’s almost impossible to do. That’s because it’s hard to follow the rules of fighting when you’re hot and hurting. There’s a way to successfully resolve issues in your marriage that doesn’t involve harsh word...

If you felt pressured by the expectations around Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone. Part of the reason might be that you aren’t in the habit of dating your partner anymore. When events are rare, more expectations get attached to them. If you and your partner only spend one-on-one time together a few times a year—birthdays, anniversary, and Valentine’s Day—making those times special becomes critica...

Men make up about 50% of the population but are often left out of discussions about relationships. While women are commonly believed to be the caretakers of relationships, this doesn’t mean that men don’t care about their success. They are often faced with conflicting expectations and, as a result, prefer to take no action than take the wrong action. However, they do, indeed, want to please their...

Many people dismiss monogamy as boring and unappealing. Who wants to be stuck with making love to only one person for the rest of their lives? But study after study report that married couples have more frequent and better sex than singles. So what gives? In reality, most of us want to have truly great sex but don’t know how to get it. Sex and intimacy coach and author of 30 Days to Orgasmic Bliss...

Half of the people in a recent study said they had thought of divorce sometime during their marriage. Twenty-five percent had those thoughts in the last six months. Explains the often reported 50% divorce rate, right? Well, no. The majority of those people remained married, happily. It’s hard to escape the reality of divorce in real life however. But having a thought doesn’t mean it’s going to hap...

Many people get married because they are in love. They believe that love is all that is necessary for long-term success. If that is true, then why do so many marriages flounder? The reality is that while love is great, it alone isn’t enough to sustain a happy relationship. Francesca Di Meglio, the Newlywed Expert ( http://newlyweds.about.com/) at About.com reveals 3 things that couples need to do...

Millennials seem to be caught in contradictions when it comes to marriage. 90 per cent say they want to be married but the number of actual marriages in this generation is declining. They care about people from all over the world and the survival of the planet but have difficulty connecting deeply one-on-one. Marriage is nothing if it’s not about connecting deeply with another person. It’s also ab...

Did you grow up with Disney princesses living “happily ever after” with their prince? Do you watch every rom-com on Netflix or catch every episode of The Bachelor? This show is for you. Sami Jankins ( https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dating-in-the-Digital-Age-with-Sami-Jankins/1663151273968617) , MFA student in Screenwriting at UC-Riverside at Palm Desert and the advice columnist for The Good Men Pr...