Gumf Audio One-Offs

It's taken 14 episodes for Ben and Connor to realise that the podcast is far too high concept and unrelatable. They kick it back a notch this week and bring the people some honest and earnest conversation. Granted, there's some distractions along the way - namely yelling teenagers, disruptive phone calls and a green freak making a brew. In spite of it all, this may be the most low concept, salt of...

The wokerati’s reign on GAOO is OVER! Emboldened by local election results, Ben is here to press his new manifesto for change onto the podcast. No more snowflake flimflam under this new regime. There’s gonna be order, there’s gonna be discipline and you’d better believe there’s gonna be KitKats. Tell a friend about Gumf Audio One-Offs, then tell us you told your friend about Gumf Audio One-Offs. T...

Connor’s away on an expenses paid work trip, so Ben can make this week’s weekly episode into whatever he wants. This is basically just a boilerplate episode jam-packed with wrestling, history, ghosts, some kind of Marge - you get the jist. If Ben is your favourite Gumf guy, this episode is for you! If you’re a member of our audience’s larger cohort, there’s always next week! Want more Gumf nonsens...

It’s a month since their first live show, so Ben and Connor spill the tea on how their lives have changed since. Namely, Ben is watching a bit of darts and Connor seems quite annoyed about stuff. Think Andy Burnham’s in there somewhere as well, can’t remember. It got a bit foggy after the 20 minute mark, if I’m being totally honest. Want more Gumf nonsense? Find daft articles and print editions of...

Recorded live on 04/01/2026 from the Book Keepers Secret in Newcastle under Lyme. Join Ben and Connor as they try their hand at the ever difficult and ever disappointing realm of live comedy. Thanks to the venue staff for considering an independent, unprofessional comedy duo to fill in at the last minute. (Sorry about the mess). Buy Gumf Live Merch at www.gumfmag.com/merch Want more Gumf nonsense?...

Settle in by the fire on this crisp, Christmas evening and join Ben and Connor as they share in a pleasant, entirely normal converasation. No gimmicks, no tricks, just two guys having a festive chat. Oh, also Santa shows up. Potentially twice. Lot of talk about scrotular aeration and the decimation of biscuits. Listen now! Want more Gumf nonsense? Find daft articles and print editions of Gumf Maga...

Co-Captains Fenton and Cotton are tasked by Fleet Admiral O'Day to recruit a new planet to the Gumf Federation of Worlds. Everything's going to plan until irritating enemies rear their handsome heads. This science fiction radio play is a podcast like no other (unless there's other science fiction radio play podcasts out there). Step into a utopian future where humans explore the depths of space an...

In this episode, we hear from YOU! That's right, Gumf Audio One-Off listeners have submitted voice notes for Ben and Connor to hear and enjoy. We hear from budding romantics, old teachers and children with homework. We study the concepts of magnets, slime, time travel and physical enhancement surgery! Additionally, we're hoping desperately that the episode isn't removed due to copyright strike tha...

There hasn't been a Gumf Audio One-Off in months and that's because Connor and Ben recorded an episode in January that was so atrocious that they lost all hope. But fear not! The Gumf boys have used the Time Travel Telephone to dissect their atrocious effort at audio entertainment and squeeze every single drop of comedy from the unreleased episode. That said, it's important to trigger some solid S...

Do you ever accidentally spend hours scrolling through Wikipedia articles for things like 'Balaclavas' or 'The London Beer Flood'. Yeah, us too. Trawl through the basement of Wikipedia with Ben and Connor as they retrieve pointless knowledge about The Expendables, certain German historical figures, The Cranberries, Domhnall Gleeson, Jack Black and Bogey Chairs. This ain't your grandma's Wikipedia...

Everyone has a group chat. Not everyone uses it to say really minging things just to make each other laugh. Connor and Ben have been doing that for almost a decade, but how much do they know about the things they've said? Get your fingers on the buzzer for The Great Group Chat Quiz, where Ben will test his wits (he's witty, isn't he?) on a series of questions that are basically all about him. Sure...

There's a thief on the cobbles in York and they're stealing a damn good guided tour. It's up to this out of work actor to find out who is the pincher among the payers. Settle in for story time and listen to Connor's sultry tones as he tells the tale of Shambles. A short story he wrote while he was staying in York in 2023. Does he mention Harry Potter around fifteen times throughout? Yes. Does he w...

Connor Fenton is on trial. His crime? Openly disliking Harry Potter. Prosecutor Ben Cotton dissects the case, investigating the effect this will have on his 20 year friendship with Connor. The suspect is cross-examined with Potter quizzes (kind of) and memory tests (kind of). Will he be found guilty and sent to the sorcerer's slammer, or will friendship prevail and will this Potter-themed proceedi...

Join Gumf Magazine's Connor & Ben on trip down memory lane, but only if you remember playing choose your own adventure books as a child, like they did. Witness Bianca The Great's rise and fall through Port Blacksand, the City of Thieves, where she makes countless foes and loses countless quids and sarnies. If, for whatever reason, you want to buy a copy of City of Thieves for yourself, seek he...