Grownups Are Lucky

Survive 26.08.2020 3:49 ↓

The new normal is still the old normal which under normal circumstances will probably end in our extinction. But think of the clearance sales!

Chill 11.08.2020 4:06 ↓

Are we still doing this? What is this? When is tomorrow? Who ordered this pizza?

Deprive 31.07.2020 3:57 ↓

We used to think we couldn’t wait to have a little time alone.

Tango 12.07.2020 4:02 ↓

An unusual engagement announcement springboards off of speculation on butterfly coitus.

Let 02.07.2020 5:45 ↓

People used to go to large auditoriums and crowd near each other, screaming out mists of germs while rubbing elbows and swaying against other bodies while handsome musicians sang about banal lusts.

Dunk 22.06.2020 3:59 ↓

If you are giving a gift it is a good idea to brand it with an identifying mark in case somebody tries to steal it and later on you run into the thief in another time zone.

Grow 10.06.2020 4:51 ↓

Mother nature doesn’t think much of you.

Trust 01.06.2020 5:21 ↓

These days lifting oneself up by the bootstraps means performing your own medical procedures on yourself with money you had to borrow from Aunt Helen.

Perch 11.05.2020 5:18 ↓

If fans could talk, they’d be all, “What’s with all the shit?”

Shine 06.05.2020 5:44 ↓

We are all barely here for barely any longer, but that still might be a long time, like however long the dinosaurs were here, and maybe still are.

Flirt 28.04.2020 5:36 ↓

Why do we assume that aliens will find us attractive? I don’t even find us attractive.

Stock 22.04.2020 6:27 ↓

We can’t promise it won’t sting a little to ponder olden times when you could casually browse the bulk section of a supermarket and maybe even flirt with another human without wearing rubber gloves or having to say, “where’d you get that mask?”

Lick 06.04.2020 4:23 ↓

Trigger warning: this story gets up in your personal space.

Buy 30.03.2020 8:09 ↓

It’s so much pressure figuring out how to spend our winnings. Good thing we’re all going to die.

Mound 24.03.2020 4:48 ↓

There were lots of stories in our reserve tanks, but our reserve story tanks didn’t anticipate this exact hellscape, so now everything seems ill-fitting and or tone deaf. But then again , what doesn’t? This crappy endeavor is still free, so we stopped caring. But not about you. We care about you. Stay safe.

Feel 16.03.2020 4:48 ↓

What would it feel like to feel like feeling like God?

Mutate 10.03.2020 3:15 ↓

An epic fight between human and arachnid with potentially grave consequences for past and future sexual partners, all rendered in exactly 250 words.

Smile 02.03.2020 5:29 ↓

Maggie Lungston is talking to her sushi again.

Smell 25.02.2020 4:16 ↓

Isn’t it crazy that given the small amount of time we have to live we choose to spend any of it watching game shows?

Draft 17.02.2020 3:33 ↓

We are driving toward, or at least near, a cliff, and if you were to ask this driver, some of the trucks don’t look so safe.

Chain 27.01.2020 4:25 ↓

Within some brains, ideas drift like snow. Then those brains command hands shared by the same body to type these ideas into stories. And then you are stuck listening to this strange precipitation.

Engorge 20.01.2020 4:03 ↓

We’ve all been there. Finding something difficult to resist which you know you will soon find repellent and nonetheless still not resisting. Like your reflection in a mirror.

Shop 23.12.2019 4:42 ↓

This is the last episode of 2019. Cherish it. It will warm your dead heart!

Limp 16.12.2019 4:19 ↓

Everybody dies and then we forget it because we are busy dying ourselves.

Spend 09.12.2019 4:13 ↓

There was a time when there was much more time because things were less advanced.