Growing with Sol

Books became essential to my healing journey from trauma, depression, and emotional abuse. Three specific books guided me through understanding what happened, building unbreakable boundaries, and reconnecting with the parts of myself I'd lost. Three healing books: "Whole Again" by Jackson MacKenzie validates your experience and teaches self-forgiveness "Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship...

Mid-year check-in on my two main goals for 2026 and where I stand at six months. Instead of setting goals in every area of my life, I narrowed focus to financial freedom by paying off credit card debt and getting back into shape. This approach is working better than years of overachieving and doing too much. Two goals and real progress: Credit card debt: Started with $12,500, now paying $1,400 mon...

Six life lessons about self-esteem, friendship, and toxic relationships I wish I'd known at 26. Self-acceptance and radical acceptance are the foundation for real confidence. Your flaws are not a moral failing and you deserve to celebrate your achievements. Six lessons across three categories: Self-esteem and confidence: Your flaws are not a moral failing, celebrate your achievements Friendship le...

Poetry and mental health intersect beautifully in this conversation with award-winning poet Leisly Roman about her seasonal poetry collection that guides intentional living and personal growth. Her latest book "All That a Season Can Carry (In Me)" is organized by seasons to help readers explore the emotional landscapes of winter, spring, summer, and fall while understanding how their inner world c...

People pleasing in parenting is costing your children their self-worth, emotional regulation, and healthy boundaries. Kids learn through observation, so if you're a people pleaser, your children are picking up those same behaviors and internalizing them as normal. This is how generational trauma works and how the cycle continues unless you heal it. How people pleasing affects your children: Kids l...

People pleasing in your career is costing you money, promotions, and career growth. If people pleasing is ruining your love life, chances are it's also ruining your finances. People pleasers take on more work for free, can't say no, avoid negotiating, and don't assert themselves for opportunities like promotions or raises. How people pleasing shows up in your career: Taking on more work for free a...

People pleasing in your love life is ruining your relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed partnership. If people pleasing has been ruining your life, I guarantee it's affecting your love life too. I've both experienced and witnessed how people pleasing leads down a path of feeling unloved and unfulfilled relationships. In the dating stage, people pleasers ask the wrong questions: Do...

In this Stories That Shape Us episode, I'm breaking down A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon, a book about depression, hope, and stepping into your power when you least expect it. The unnamed protagonist is 29, depressed, drowning in debt. As a 35-year-old American with three degrees, hard relate. She's saved from attempting suicide by a clairvoyant magical girl and discovers she might be the...

Do you ever struggle with loving yourself at the beginning of your healing journey when you're not a finished product? That constant feeling of not being good enough, not worthy, not deserving, even of things you've worked for. One day you feel confident like "Yeah, one step at a time, let's go." The next day you feel so low: "Is this even for me? Maybe I'm not meant to get better." The highs and...

You want the soft life. You're tired of hustling. I texted my friend this morning: "Girl, I wish I had one job that paid for everything." But who actually gets to have a soft life? And is it even possible for most of us right now? What we're unpacking about soft life vs hustle culture: Trad wife isn't soft life, it's unpaid labor unless you're wealthy enough to hire help for everything Who gets to...

Life becomes a waiting game. Waiting for texts, commitment, apologies, explanations. Always from someone who isn't really interested in getting back to you. So what does decentering men actually mean, and how do you do it without giving up on wanting love? What decentering men really is: Men stop being the reference point for what you do, look like, where you go, what you tolerate, and prioritize...

Hot girl walks. Pilates. Korean skincare. Wellness trends are everywhere, and they all promise empowerment. But when does a helpful practice stop being about your wellbeing and start being about someone else's bottom line? What we're unpacking about the wellness industrial complex: When aesthetic and gear become more important than the actual practice Paywalling basic things like hydration and mov...

In this episode of our series 'Stories That Shape Us', my friend Priscilla and I are breaking down Tower of Dawn, the book where the action is mostly physical therapy, political dinners, and a lot of walking (well, rolling). It's one of the most divisive books in the Throne of Glass series, and we get into why. 🚨 Major spoiler alert for Tower of Dawn and the entire Throne of Glass series! What we...

When I picked up Jillian Turecki's "It Begins with You," I kept thinking: where was this book 12 years ago? I had to learn these dating lessons the hard way - depression, CPTSD, the whole mess. Zero out of 10, do not recommend learning it that way. The book breaks down 9 hard truths about dating and relationships: The mind is a battlefield - limiting beliefs like "my type's not my type" block you...

Why is women's anger so often dismissed, suppressed, or even feared? The cool girl who doesn't get mad. The "hysterical" woman. The "spicy Latina." We're taught from childhood to be nice, polite, and agreeable - which actually means don't be angry, don't disrupt. Here's the truth about women and anger: Anger happens because we've been wronged - expressing it means accepting we're worthy of having...

The people I know who don't use social media seem lighter than the rest of us. If you can quit, do it. But for those of us who can't - because we use it for work or entertainment or both - it comes down to how we curate our feeds. Because algorithms are exploiting your vulnerabilities, and yes, you are susceptible to propaganda even if you think you're too smart for it. Here's what we're exploring...

I have a friend who could live off a flip phone, just calls and texts, barely uses social media. I was so jealous. Because here I am with 10+ hours of screen time, doom scrolling in bed, clicking onto Instagram and immediately seeing buildings exploding. Sometimes I become too informed and need to dissociate for a bit. Here's what we're exploring about digital spring cleaning: How millennials reme...

Let's face it - the American Dream is bullshit now. Or maybe it always was, because it was never supposed to pertain to someone like me anyway. But here's the thing: even the people it WAS designed for can't achieve it anymore. My parents owned a home at 35. I'm celebrating not having roommates. Here's what we're exploring about redefining success: How the American Dream shifted from consumerism (...

The early 2000s beauty standards are back: low-rise jeans, "#SkinnyTok," Ozempic ads everywhere. I get GLP-1 ads every single day. And as someone who lived through the "you must be size zero or you're fat" era, I'm having flashbacks. But here's what's shifted for me: jiu jitsu changed how I relate to my body. Here's what we're exploring about body image and martial arts: How beauty standards are e...

How many of you are in your 30s rediscovering old hobbies from childhood - things you were into as a kid that now bring you so much joy again? Same here. I think this whole phenomenon is part of a healing arc so many people started in their 30s, and it's about radical self-acceptance. Here's what we're exploring about finding your true self: How we lost ourselves in our 20s (work, hustle culture,...

I read a Threads post asking people to share the romantic thing they've always wanted but never had. I went from "oh that's relatable" to "this got me right in the trauma and I need to stop reading before I cry." We're all apparently just very traumatized from past relationships - and dating after romantic trauma is a mindfuck. Here's what we're exploring about love after trauma: The two paths aft...

You know that friend who's been there longer than any boyfriend? The one you joke with saying "I'll be at your wedding, but he might not be"? That's soul-deep connection - and science says it might be saving your life. This Galentine's Day, let's celebrate the power of female friendship. Here's what we're exploring about women supporting women: The science behind female friendship (oxytocin, stres...

Everyone wants the benefits of a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. We all want community, support, and deep connections - but we're terrified to actually be vulnerable ourselves. With Valentine's Day and Galentine's Day this week, let's talk about what's really at the foundation of every meaningful relationship: emotional intimacy. Here's what we're exploring about building deeper connec...

This is the very first episode of 2026 - and we're starting the year by stepping into our power. If you have goals you want to reach this year, things you want to change, or you're ready for real growth, this episode is for you. Here's what we're exploring about stepping into your power: Why your definition of power might not actually be yours (and how social media messes with this) The perfection...

This is your New Year's week book episode to send off 2025 right - wrapping up the year with all the books I read, from the emotional to the adventurous to the absolutely spicy, complete with reading stats and spice levels. If you're looking for book recs to start 2026, this is it. 2025 READING STATS: 27 books read (goal was 35, but last year was only 25 total!) 9,954 pages 12 days average per boo...