Growing Up In Polygamy

After watching Trust Me: A False Prophet, one question kept coming up: Why did it take so long to stop Samuel Bateman? If law enforcement knew about allegations of abuse, why wasn't he arrested sooner? What kind of evidence does it actually take to investigate and convict a cult leader? In this episode, we sit down with retired law enforcement officer and author Mike King to explore what happe...

Life Beyond Polygamy: The Power of CommunityWhat role does community play in helping individuals and families rebuild their lives? Join us for a special live discussion about the impact of community, the importance of support systems, and how community partners help create pathways to healing, stability, and independence. This conversation features members of the Holding Out HELP team alongside sp...

In Part 2 of Val Snow's story, we continue our conversation about growing up inside the Kingston Clan, also known as "The Order."After spending years trying to reconcile who he was with what he had been taught, Val opens up about coming to terms with his sexuality in a community that believed being gay was a choice. He shares the pressure to conform, the fear of being discovered, and...

In this episode, we sit down with Val Snow to hear his incredible story of growing up inside the Kingston Clan, also known as "The Order," one of the most secretive polygamous groups in the United States. Val was raised in a family unlike most people can imagine. His father had 14 wives and more than 150 children. He shares what life was really like growing up in such a massive family, t...

In the final episode of "Devotion: Obedience or Betrayal?", Gloriavale faces growing legal pressure while leaders work to convince the public, and the government, that the abuses of the past are behind them. But have things really changed? As former members continue to speak out and ongoing court cases raise difficult questions, we examine Gloriavale's efforts to reform its image and...

In Episode 2 of Devotion: Obedience or Betrayal, we dive into one of the most difficult questions any faith community can face: Can you separate a religious leader's contributions from their crimes? As former members of high-demand religious communities, we discuss the complicated legacy of leaders whose teachings helped shape entire generations, even after serious wrongdoing comes to light. W...

Devotion: Obedience or Betrayal? tells the story of Gloriavale, a closed religious community in New Zealand that was founded on promises of faith, unity, and a better way of life. As former members of Mormon communities, we couldn't help but notice some striking similarities to our own experiences growing up in the FLDS and mainstream Mormon culture. In this reaction and discussion, we explore...

For years, the Kingston Clan, also known as The Order, has been accused of abuse, exploitation, forced marriages, and maintaining a system that prioritizes power and control over the well-being of its members. Yet when leaders do face legal consequences, it often seems to be for financial crimes rather than the harm inflicted on women and children. In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Rae, who...

In the finale of Unchosen, the story takes a disturbing turn as manipulation, control, and blind trust collide in ways that felt all too familiar to us. As former members of high-control religious groups, we break down the warning signs that were present from the beginning, how charismatic individuals gain influence, and why closed communities can become vulnerable to manipulation. Throughout this...

In Part 2 of our interview with Nomz from the documentary Trust Me: The False Prophet, we continue her powerful story as she opens up about being given to Samuel Bateman and what life was really like under his control. Nomz answers questions about the documentary, shares details about her time in prison, and explains the emotional and mental process of breaking free from the beliefs she was raised...

In Part 1 of our interview with Nomz from the documentary Trust Me: The False Prophet, she shares what life was really like growing up inside the FLDS under the control of Warren Jeffs, long before Samuel Bateman entered her life. Nomz opens up about losing her father after he was sent away by the church, becoming part of the United Order, and living in an environment where individuality and creat...

In Episodes 2 & 3 of Netflix’s Unchosen, we were shocked by how many similarities we recognized from our own experiences growing up in Mormon culture and the FLDS world. We break down the control tactics, fear-based teachings, isolation, obedience, gender roles, and “us vs. them” mindset shown in the series — and compare them to what we personally witnessed in both the FLDS and mainstream LDS...

What does Netflix get right about closed religious groups… and what does it miss? In this video, we react to Unchosen and break it down through our real-life experiences growing up in and around fundamentalist Mormon communities. As someone raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), Sam shares what felt eerily accurate and what didn’t quite line up with realit...

In this exclusive interview, Kathryn shares her firsthand experience with Bateman’s family, including her relationship with his ex-wife and the role she played in helping care for their children. She opens up about unsettling interactions she witnessed between Sam Bateman and his first wife, long before he declared himself a prophet. One of the most shocking revelations? The moment that pushed his...

Did Samuel Bateman copy Warren Jeffs… or was he taught? In this video, we break down a side of the Samuel Bateman case that isn’t being widely discussed. While many believe Bateman may have learned from Warren Jeffs’ journals, we’ve come across firsthand accounts and insights that suggest something much deeper may have been happening inside the FLDS community. We talk about reports from former wiv...

How does a story like this finally come to an end… and does it ever really end? In the final episode of Trust Me: A False Prophet, we break down the FBI raid that led to the arrest of Samuel Bateman—and everything that happened after. Even from prison, Bateman continued to control his followers. We talk about how the minors were taken into custody, placed in group homes, and yet were still in cont...

What does it take to finally bring something like this to light? In Episode 3 of Trust Me: A False Prophet, we cover one of the most pivotal moments in the case of Samuel Bateman — when Julia found the courage to speak out and tell the FBI what was really happening behind closed doors. We talk about the punishment and abuse she endured for simply having questions or doubts, and how fear is used to...

Why is it so hard to stop abuse in these communities… even when people know it’s happening? In Episode 2 of Trust Me: A False Prophet, we dive deeper into the case of Samuel Bateman and the devastating reality victims face when law enforcement can’t act without testimony. We talk about how young girls were groomed from birth to obey priesthood leaders and “the prophet,” and how they were taught to...

In this episode, we react to Episode 1 of Trust Me: A False Prophet and break down the disturbing rise of Samuel Bateman — a self-proclaimed prophet who used religion to gain control, take followers’ wives and daughters, and justify abuse under the guise of “atonement.” As former members of fundamentalist and mainstream Mormon communities, we’ve seen firsthand how power, fear, and belief can be tw...

In Episode 3 of From the Journal of Charles F. Zitting, we continue reading from his self-written autobiography and dive deeper into his early life growing up in rural Utah. In this chapter, Charles shares what day-to-day life looked like working on farms—raising animals, learning responsibility at a young age, and developing a strong work ethic that would shape the rest of his life. He also opens...

In Episode 2 of From the Journal of Charles F. Zitting, we continue reading from his self-written autobiography and get a deeper look into his early years growing up in the LDS Church. In this chapter, Charles shares stories from his childhood—including the pranks he played, the mistakes he made, and the lessons that shaped him. He also talks about becoming a deacon in the Mormon church and the im...

In this series, we read and react to the self-written autobiography of Charles F. Zitting—Sam’s grandfather—sharing a rare, firsthand account of life inside Mormonism, including both mainstream LDS beliefs and fundamentalist Mormonism. Through his own words, Charles F. Zitting documents his life, faith, family, and experiences with polygamy, priesthood authority, and religious devotion. As we read...

Subscribe to Melanie and Corey https://www.youtube.com/@NotestoSelf444 In this episode, we sit down with Melanie and Corey from Notes to Self 444 for an update on what is currently happening inside the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB)—the fundamentalist Mormon group known for practicing polygamy and featured on shows like Sister Wives. Melanie has a unique perspective as the daughter of the current...

In this interview, Rose shares her powerful story of growing up in the FLDS church and what life was like in this fundamentalist, patriarchal system. At just 10 years old, Rose’s father was sent away, and she was reassigned to a new family and home, something common in the FLDS. While helping care for her mother’s mental health struggles, Rose was forced into a parental role at a young age, raisin...

In this video, we break down the current state of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) and share the most credible information available about Warren Jeffs’ ongoing influence — even from prison. We also address deeply concerning claims that plural marriage may be starting again, that young girls are being relocated to hidden or remote locations, and what former mem...