Grow Yourself Up

In this week's episode Cath is joined by artist and illustrator Azalia Suhaimi . Azalia shares her motherhood journey and how perfectionism, anxiety and trying to get everything right led her to burnout. Azalia reflects on the importance of letting go and getting help. The generous storytelling will help you feel less alone and that no matter what issues you are experiencing in motherhood, there i...

Grief is an emotion that arises in response to loss and it applies to many things apart from death.  We often need to learn how to make space for it and to allow ourselves to actually grieve, instead of denying or cutting off from our experiences.  It can feel uncomfortable to grieve something even though you really wanted a family. In this episode Cath speaks to the complexities of grie...

Productivity is revered in our society and for many of us this constant drive to produce, to be busy, to be viewed as always efficient is wired into us as part of our safety strategies. Even pondering not being busy can send us into a panic. And yet this pattern often leads to burnout. In this episode Cath speaks to this pattern, how seductive it is as a coping strategy and how we can tend to ours...

In this episode Cath is joined by Hannah Clapham who runs a sleep consultancy service called Little Nest Sleep . Hannah shares about how she has grown herself up in motherhood. There is so much richness in this episode including expectations in motherhood, self blame, how perfectionism trips us up, challenges around kiddie sleep and surrender, breastfeeding, advocating for ourselves and rage and h...

Those who are working to shift toxic cycles in their own lives and in their families are called ' cycle breakers ' on social media. This is a powerful position and it can feel like we need to do this perfectly. In this episode Cath speaks to this, the pressure inherent in this and suggests a gentler path giving reasons why this is actually really important. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please...

In this episode Cath looks at the concept of blame. Blame is often something that happens a lot in dysfunctional families and, as adults, it can feel necessary to blame something or someone for issues, problems or the way life is. Cath invites you into the possibility that blaming is not necessary and talks about responsibility instead. Cath focuses on co-regulation and how we can support each oth...

In this episode Cath is joined by Occupational Therapist and Conscious Parent Coach Maggie Viers . Maggie shares her own growth and awakening in motherhood. She talks about how becoming a mother was a catalyst for her own growth and healing. Motherhood pushed her to look into the details of her own childhood experiences and how these had impacted her. Maggie shares her wisdom, what she finds most...

In this episode Cath discusses the concept of self mothering, explaining why this is such a crucial part of all our healing journey. She explains what it is, highlights how we may derail ourselves and shares her 3-step approach to self-mothering. This episode is full of humanity, vulnerability, useful tips and storytelling. Cath provides an example of how she does this in her own life so that you...

In this episode Cath is joined by Yvonne Smyth . Yvonne is a Conscious Parent Coach and a Child Advocate . She's a single mum who co-parents her boys of 12 and 13 and she lives in Northern Ireland. Yvonne shares about how and why she shifted her parenting style and how that has been so beneficial for her family. Yvonne is passionate about supporting parents to connect deep...

Shame is present in all dysfunctional families and yet it is something we don’t talk about that much. Cath has mentioned it in multiple episodes and this episode is dedicated exclusively to shame because it is everywhere. Often operating out of our awareness and causes so much pain. In this episode we talk about how shame originates and how it drives behaviour. To shift patterns in our families we...

In this episode Cath delves into anxiety more, following on from Episode 34 . She uses neuroscience to explain why those of us with a stressful/traumatic childhood are more prone to anxiety. By building strategies into our week that support us we can help our nervous system become more flexible (which helps with anxiety reduction) . With stories from Cath's own life she focuses on a tool that can...

In this episode Cath and Tamu Thomas talk about growing ourselves up in our adult friendships and what this can look like. Together they reflect on how people pleasing can play out at work, how it keeps us playing small, prevents us from owning our power and how we (unconsciously) re-create our family dynamics at work. Only when we become aware of what we are doing can change become possible. If y...

In this episode Cath speaks about how good enough parenting is rooted in relationship. When we tend to ourselves, begin to meet our own needs and deepen our own self connection, our parenting journey starts to become more intuitive. Cath highlights three important elements of (good enough) parenting using some examples from her own life. Holding these in mind will help you as you deepen into your...

In this episode Cath speaks to how we are much more likely to struggle with managing uncertainty and to experience anxiety when we have not had our needs met in childhood. She explains the links between these and discusses how when we have anxiety we are much more likely to want to control as much as possible. Using examples and storytelling Cath highlights how this comes up in parenting and how p...

In this episode Cath is joined by Emily Adler Mosqueda . We discuss Emily's mothering experience. Emily shares how her postpartum time after the birth of her second daughter was much more challenging than her first. We examine what contributed to this touching on cultural expectations, perfectionism, rage, meeting our inner child in parenting, mental health, support and learning to make space for...

This episode is a continuation of Episode 30. In episode 30 Cath talked about being in our own power, being aware of our agency and using these to create the life we would love to live (while being aware of systemic constraints) . Cath spoke to why this might feel hard or why we may feel we are not allowed to do this. In this episode Cath talks about the science of behavioural change (drawing on t...

In this episode Cath chats to coach and psychotherapist Ali Pember about what it means to be a good enough mother. This episode is full of insight and realness which many of you will identify with. Cath and Ali discuss Ali's journey to motherhood and how she has grown herself up along the way. Ali explains how she approached motherhood (an approach which will resonate with many Mums). She explains...

New Year's resolutions can be so seductive for many of us, convincing us that we need a new version of ourselves (and that this is even possible in a short time frame). In this episode Cath suggests a more expansive, loving framework that you can apply to all areas of your life. She explains why this is important and how part of tending to our needs is actually considering the life we want to crea...

In this special bonus episode released on Christmas Day , Cath talks about what can sometimes derail us over the holidays. She makes suggestions around how to return to our own centre, to consider what is important to us and to focus on our own values.  Grow Yourself Up will now be on a break for 2 weeks and will return in the new year with the first episode on Tuesday 10th January 2023 . If...

Ironically Christmas is often a time when many of us struggle with our mental health and with staying in a regulated enough place. Cath addresses why this may happen, focuses on why an understanding of our nervous system is so helpful in de-shaming this experience and suggests some practical tips to help you if you are feeling like this. Please know that you are not alone if you struggle at Christ...

There are some reflections on Christmas and how this may feel like a mixed time for many listeners (for multiple different reasons). Cath reflects on how the most important thing in the present moment is to develop a warm, supportive, loving relationship with all the different parts of ourselves, even if we don’t fully understand what is going on for us. How do we actually do this though? What hel...

The way we come into relationships with our needs when we are babies and young children, has a huge influence on the way we learn to tend to our needs as adults. We learn about what is 'allowed' in terms of our needs in our family of origin. Many of us have a very complex relationship with our own needs, because of the parenting we received ( and the parenting our parents received ). In this episo...

In this episode Cath digs into the detail of people pleasing more, explaining why this is a sub-optimal parenting strategy and scenarios that can arise when we go down the route of people pleasing our children. She explains why containment is important for our children, how we create that and how ( and why ) we may need to soothe ourselves as we do this. She shares some anecdotes to illustrate the...

In this deeply heartfelt and personal episode, Cath speaks to the complexity of managing family relationships around the holidays and high days ( particularly when we have not had our needs met in childhood ). How can we remain in touch with people who we deeply love, have a lot of history with and yet the relationship may also have a lot of potential for pain? How can we turn up in these relation...

In this episode Cath colours in more of the people pleasing picture. How and why does this arise in our family of origin? How were we set up to act as people pleasers? She speaks about patterns of relating and dysfunctional behaviours that are common to many families. Cath also explains important steps we can take, as parents, to help our children avoid becoming a people pleaser. She speaks about...