Grieving Insomniacs, a grief podcast.

21 years ago the United States witnessed the fall of the twin towers in New York City. As a nation, we were grieving the loss of life that occurred during this event. For years afterward on 09/11 memorials were held for the families that lost loved ones. Tributes were created. This outpouring of grief changed the grief culture in America. Even in the 11 years since my son died, I have seen grief b...

Today's episode is about mourning who we once were before death robbed us of our children. When my son died I did not realize that parts of me would die that day too. They were parts of myself that I valued, and appreciated. Over the years I have been angry about it, frustrated about it, and have now moved into acceptance of losing myself. I recently realized that I need to mourn myself too. The m...

Two weeks ago I was lucky enough to go to the Pacific Northwest. It was an amazing trip. I swear there was something magical in the air where I was at. Of course, I said that out loud to my peers.  Often times I am not aware that some of the things that I say set me apart as being "different" until I say it. This was one of those times. During this trip, I met some new friends. As we went thr...

Today's grief episode was inspired by a fellow grieving mom that is experiencing an angelversary. She requested that the podcast be about anniversaries in grief. As I thought about her request, I realized I had not talked about grief anniversaries. These dates are ones that have special meaning for the griever. These dates can be birthdays, the date of death, or the beginning of the illness that k...

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is known throughout the grieving community as the founder of the five stages of grief. Did you know that she actually never intended for her research to be about grief? Her book on Death and Dying was written after conducting interviews with terminally ill patients while she was working at the University of Chicago. She discussed the stages of dying not the stages of grief. H...

Today's episode was inspired by my husband, who asked me to talk about why families fight after the funeral over material items. This happened when my son died, and when my husband's parents died. I did some research on Google Scholar and found articles about how our clothing defines who we are. Often times identification with different groups and different decades can be done purely by looking at...

Grieving Insomanics is a podcast about grief. Today we are discussing the medical profession and how they get it wrong about grief. During a medical visit, I was told that I needed to "put my grief down for a little bit" The assumption being that I would feel better not working with grieving parents, or recording my podcasts. I literally laughed in her face. She clearly does not understand grief o...

Grieving Insomanics a podcast about grief. Join us today as we discuss mediumship. Mediums or psychic mediums as they might be called have the ability to communicate with deceased individuals. If you are considering hiring one in an attempt to communicate with your deceased child, there is some information you need to know. You must practice discernment and be open to the information provided. You...

Nothing makes you question your faith more than the loss of a child. The spiritual crisis that accompanies the death of a child takes many different forms for different people. Some people can turn towards their faith and find support in the fellowship of their various religions. Others like Cristi do not find that support. It is during this darkest time that the burning question "why me?" can bec...

Today Cristi talks about healing from grief. What does it look like and how do you know you are healing. She offers two definitions of healing. Using these definitions she walks the listener through why there needs to be another word for healing when it comes to grief. Healing implies that somehow a person will be made whole after some intervention. Cristi maintains that the only way to become who...

Today's episode is about the lessons I learned from my dog dying last night. I learned that my grief is compartmentalized so well that I can experience two competing emotions at the same time. As the memories of my son's death flooded my mind I was trying to be present for my dog as he passed away. It is in these moments that I learn that grief will be my permanent companion for the rest of my lif...

In this episode, Cristi talks about mental health and grieving. She talks about how in many cases mental health professionals fail grieving mothers in helping them through the grief. She talks about being a mental health professional and experiencing grief. It is the duality of being a griever and mental health professional that gives Cristi a unique perspective of the intersection between grief a...

In this episode, Cristi discusses the loss of physical health that has occurred after the loss of her child. She discusses her experiences with physicians and their lack of understanding of the connection between the physical, emotional, and spiritual loss that occurs with the death of a child. Cristi believes that there is an energy exchange between the mother and child that exists from the time...

Secondary losses are a seldom understood aspect of grief. These secondary losses often come as a surprise to both the person experiencing the loss and the people around them. Secondary losses in child loss can include the loss of family, the loss of friends, the loss of physical health, and the loss of mental health. Today, Cristi tells her story about her secondary losses. This is the first...

Grief is not something that can be ignored. Grieving people need to talk about their loved ones. Grieving Insomiancs is a podcast that normalizes the experiences of grieving mothers and provides a platform for their stories to be told. It is the mission of the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the cultu...

This is the second part of the interview with Matt's mom.   Her message to all of the grieving parents out there is that support for each other is critically important while on this journey. We also discussed the importance of support for grieving fathers. Thanks again @mattsmom for being willing to come on the podcast and talk about her experiences on the grief journey. Grieving In...

Today on our podcast we interview Matt's mom. I met Matt's mom when she reached out to me on Instagram on a post that I had created when I was missing my son. She is truly an inspiration to others as she travels her own grief journey she offers support to other's along the way. This is the first of a two part interview. We started talking and found that we had many similar experiences in our grief...

Anniversaries dates such as birthdays, death days, and holidays can trigger nightmares. Listen in as we discuss nightmares in grief. Your host Cristi Habermann discusses nightmares and what it is like waking up every morning realizing that her nightmare has come true. A common nightmare for parents is dreaming that their child died. Try to imagine what it is like waking up every morning and knowin...

Ritual is an important part of grief. The funeral is a ritual. A wake is a ritual. Did you know that you can cope with grief using ritual. Today, on Grieving Insomanics we talk about creating rituals that help us express our grief. When using ritual before use intention and infuse each element with the love and care that you would express to your loved one if they were alive. Leave me a message at...

In this episode, Cristi talks about Bereaved Mother's Day and Mother's Day. Grief can be triggered at any moment and in any day. She discusses societies' desire to not speak or say the word dead. Many people feel uncomfortable when saying someone's dead. They prefer cliches like "they passed away".  When talking about grief it is imperative that we use words that accurately describe reality....

Episode 4 discusses how unfair death is when you have a child die. It is not fair to the person who died early nor is it fair to the people left behind. Join us in and share your own thoughts about how unfair the death of your child was.  https://anchor.fm/grievinginsomniacs/message grievinginsomniacs #grieving #grievingmother #grievingprocess #grievingpodcast #grievingmom #grievinginsomniacs...

This episode is the second in a four-part series of podcasts leading up to Mother's day in which we discuss the role of guilt in grief. There are different types of guilt. A grieving mother may feel guilty because they believed they caused the death of their child or they may feel guilty because they feel they did not fulfill the role of being a good mother. As women, we are socialized as all migh...

Hi, I am Cristi Habermann, the host of Grieving Insomanics a podcast about grief. In 2011 I lost my oldest son to cancer when he was 25 years old. Immediately, upon his death, I felt guilty about everything I could have, would have, or should have done. The guilt and shame I felt about his death became my constant companion. It is a subject that is whispered but never fully acknowledged in child l...

Guilt is one of the most complex issues in grief. Our life experiences shape how we experience grief, and what types of guilt we have surrounding the loss of a child. This episode discusses the role of radical self-acceptance of ourselves when it comes to grief. Not only does the host Cristi Habermann discuss self-acceptance she discusses the role of acceptance in grief. When a person accepts that...

One of the major struggles after the loss of a child is the impact the death has on the identity of the mother. A grieving mother struggles with how to answer questions about "How many children do you have?" "Where do your children live?" These simple questions become triggering landmines in the journey through grief. Listen in and hear how one mother worked through the identity crisis after the l...