Grieving Insomniacs, a grief podcast.

The message "The dark night of the soul" popped into my head when I was thinking about an appropriate topic for the Thanksgiving holiday podcast. In researching, I found several references to the Dark Night of the Soul. One was from Dr. Gerald May, and the other was from Eckhart Tolle. I will link both of them below. As I explored the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul, I realized tha...

In today's episode of "Grieving Insomniacs," we delve into why grief can become particularly overwhelming during Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving serves as a poignant symbol of all that we have lost. It revolves around the concept of family, cherished traditions, and shared meals—a living embodiment of a Norman Rockwell painting. For a grieving mother, this holiday is a time of mourning fo...

Summer has now turned to fall in the frozen north. Very quickly after Halloween, the first significant snowfall of the season will occur. Winter will move in and it becomes a time of reflection. This year has me reflecting on how my grief has changed over the years. The holidays are always difficult. In the 11 years since becoming a grieving mom, I have learned the importance of assessing my own a...

In today's episode, I share everything I wish non-grieving people knew about grief. 1. After the death of a child the life you knew before that moment is over. 2. Grief is solitary and lonely. 3. Grief destroys relationships and your health. 4. There is no way to escape grief. You dream about it. Feel it and think about it all of the time. Please share with me what you wish people knew about g...

In today's episode, we delve into the subject of Tonkin's Model of Grief. When exploring various grief theories through a Google search, Tonkin's Model of Grief may appear as a potential option. However, it is essential to clarify that Tonkin's model primarily pertains to the experience of parental loss, specifically the loss of a child, and emphasizes the process of adapting and g...

In today's episode, we discuss how to determine whether a counselor is going to meet your needs for grief counseling. This podcast episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for individuals who are seeking support and guidance through the complex journey of choosing a grief therapist. We explore various aspects of what makes a grief counselor a good match for the grief counseling pr...

Welcome to another episode of Grieving Insomniacs, the podcast where we explore the complex journey of grief and healing. In today's episode, we'll delve into the Dual Process Model of grief. In this episode we break the Dual Process Model down into its key components. Developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut in the 1990s, this model suggests that grieving individuals oscillate between...

Welcome back to another episode of Grieving Insomaniacs. Today we have a profound and essential topic: Continuing Bonds in Grief Therapy. Continuing Bonds as a way to navigate grief was developed by Phyllis Silverman, Dennis Glass, and Steven Nickman in their book Continuing Bonds, New Understanding of Grief. This theory states that instead of severing our connection to our deceased loved ones, we...

In today's episode, we dive deep into the profound impact of unfinished farewells and the complex emotions that come with not getting the chance to say goodbye. Life often interferes with our ability to say goodbye, leaving us with unsaid words, unexpressed feelings, and a longing for closure. Your host Cristi Habermann explores the impact of the weight of unfinished business with the untimely...

I had a grief nightmare last night that sent me on a quest to research them. In the podcast today I discuss what areas of the brain are active when we sleep that are involved in dreams and nightmares. Nightmares occur during REM sleep. We have about four cycles of REM sleep a night. The longer we sleep the longer the REM cycles last which results in more nightmares and dreams in the early mornings...

Any Google search on grief will display multiple types of grief, from the loss of a job to the break up of a relationship to the loss of a loved one. All these grief experiences are different, and we need to quit discussing them as if they are the same. In today's episode, I discuss all the reasons why the loss of a job is not similar to the loss of a child. My first reason is the physiologica...

Validation is when you accept someone's emotions and experiences. How many times have you heard someone say "It's time to get over your grief?" This is an invalidation of your grief experience. There are messages everywhere about grief, and how people are to respond to grief especially when it comes to losing a child. Most of these messages are invalidating. Why do we care? Becau...

I attended a family reunion for my father's 80th birthday party this week. I was excited to see family and spend time with them. I did not expect to have my grief triggered by being with family. I was naive about my own grief and grief triggers. I tend to feel my grief as physical symptoms therefore, I was more tired than usual which led to irritability. After my experience, I want to share so...

How you grieve can be affected by your attachment style? An attachment style is related to how a person connects to their primary caregiver as an infant. There are four types of attachment. 1. secure 2. anxious 3. anxious-avoidant, 4. avoidant. John Bowlby, an attachment researcher, and theorist, wrote in his book Attachment and Loss that our attachment system becomes activated in our grief. We us...

Grieving is confusing. Your feelings are all mixed up into one ugly ball of pain. It can be challenging to move out of the emotional pain into acceptance. Many people believe that to remember their loved one they have to have pain. This is not the case. You can move to a place of acceptance of the grief and having grief be a significant part of your life without pain. When our love is great, so ar...

Kia, the wonder dog is getting ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge. She has been my best friend, supporter, and grief companion since Christopher died. His death anniversary is on June 19, 2023. As we approach that day, the nightmares increase, and so does my sadness. Kia has been the one who gets up with me at night when I can't sleep. As June 19, moves closer I wonder if she will make it to th...

I took the week off because Christopher's birthday was last week. I spent my time recharging and re-engaging in the grief talk. In today's episode, I discuss Complicated Grief Disorder. What are the symptoms and why they created this disorder in the first place? In all mental health treatment diagnosis drives payment and treatment. It used to be that insurance would not pay for grief couns...

May 27th, 2023 is Christopher's 37th birthday. It is the day I became a mother so many years ago. Now it is a day that brings both sadness and happiness. I am happy that I can remember Christopher and all the joy he brought to my life. But, I am also sad because he is dead. The nightmares have started as my brain tries to cope with the feelings that always run underneath my thoughts this time...

Listen to today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs. It has rained for the last five days here. I wonder if Mother Nature knows that the world is full of grieving mothers that will be crying tomorrow. In the episode, I discuss the family dynamics of being a grieving mother. Christopher was my first-born son and when he was born my family was created. When he died the feeling of being in a family...

In this episode of Grieving Insomniacs, we discuss Bereaved Mother's Day and Mother's Day. Do you wonder how you are going to cope with that day? Listen in as we discuss how to cope with our feelings and emotions surrounding the loss of our children. It is one of the most stressful holidays for a grieving mom. The first and most crucial coping technique is to take care of yourself. This ma...

On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, I discuss how painful small talk can be while you are grieving. I used to be this outgoing person making friends everywhere I went before Christopher died. The most painful social interaction after he died was meeting new people, who asked within minutes of meeting you "How many children do you have?" I dislike this question so much. I will...

On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, we interview Angie Hanson of Butterflies and Halos. Angie is a grieving mom and widower who lost her brother to cancer. All of these deaths occurred in a short amount of time. Angie became frustrated with the greeting cards currently available about grief. She had been looking for a way to give back to the grieving community. She found her purpose in...

Meditate with me in this week's episode. I wrote this meditation years ago early on in my grief. I missed the physical feeling of Christopher so much. I missed his hugs. I missed where I fit into his shoulder when he hugged me. I missed the smell of him. It was an ache that was deep and unrelenting. This meditation helped me focus on a specific memory of him hugging me. Using all our senses we...

Today our podcast is about trust. Before my son died I moved through the world trusting that things would work out. That any problem that came my way could be solved. After Christopher died, I don't believe that anymore. I don't trust people. I don't trust that things will be okay. I plain don't trust in anything. This causes a problem though because I find myself isolated from peo...

On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, I discuss finding your pathway through grief. Your pathway is simply what you use to help you cope with your grief. The pathway consists of the tools you use to navigate. I used the following quote as a metaphor “And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether...