Green Cows Don't Fly

King Tightarse is in the middle of a spinning session (his arse must get tighter!) when Frank Pence arrives with some bad news. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -  Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:...

The Questers arrive on Holographia and start making plans to save it. Mrs Gubbins, Grandolf's cleaner, may not be what she appears to be. Meanwhile, The UK's is basking in a heatwave and enduring record temperatures of forty degrees plus. And Brain has to take the week off after suffering heat exhaustion when playing the the Tin Man in panto. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact...

It's time to travel to Holographia to save Bob's race. But who can help reseal the Pharse Hole when the questers teleport through? Step forward Grandolf's pub cleaner, Mrs. Gubbins, to save the day, or will she? Meanwhile, Brian reveals he and Gerald share a pair of rather tight trousers. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.c...

The Questers make plans to re-open the Pharse Hole and new recruit, Moonbeam Dawning, finds himself facing an evil Blargog in Grandolf's cellar. Can he defeat it? Meanwhile, Brian prepares a personal horoscope for Ologia. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music &...

We meet new Baddie, King Tightarse and his personal Coin Polisher, Franc Pence. The cost of everything is rising and the King's not happy about that. Something needs to be done so he can save on dragon food and use the savings to fund his holiday in Benidorm. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Insta...

Jon's got Covid but struggles on manfully. Meanwhile, Bob's nearly out of charge and in danger of switching to standby. And now with their new pact to save Bob's Homeworld, Holographia, the gang sets off for Brighton once more in the hope of being able to decipher the meaning of strange lights that have been appearing in the sky. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us...

It's all the twos and the gang's back in town with some unfinished business to take care of. Bob needs help and he needs it fast before he bleeps his last. And for no particular reason at all, Brian has a personal horoscope reading which sets him thinking about taking his skills in a new direction.  Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: g...

Chapter 1 of Book 2 of The TRILOGY: The Quester's Guide To Saving It (the Other World, That Is)  Strange lights in the sky are causing concern. PM Horace Jobson calls for calm. But might it be Bob's Homeworld, Holographia, is now under threat and Bob's needed back there PDQ to save it? Prepare to suspend you incredulity to the max as B & Jon almost laugh themselves directly into A&E,...

Jon and B talk ideas for the sequel. Meanwhile Brian buys the coffees, and Gerald, his friend, submits another idea which he hopes Jon and B use for the Green Cows pod: a biography of an American president. The only problem is, half of it can't be published and anyway, the CIA may not approve. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gm...

B and Jon are back and wondering what to do for series 2. Listening in as the creative process unfolds. And whether they like it or not, Brian is back and he has a friend called Gerald who is rather keen to get involved. Brian appears courtesy of readloud.net You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & a...

This week Jon and B entertain (or try to) you with a bit of general nonsense because they're very busy releasing the Quester's Guide. And they're discussing their new show. You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -  Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book T...

"How did Brian become the voice of The Quester's Guide?" That's the most common question we're asked by listeners. So we've decided to let you hear for yourselves.  During extensive auditions last year Brian came to read for us and it very quickly emerged that he was the only man for the job.  You can contact and follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod...

They said we couldn't do it... no, hang on. That's it, they said DON'T do it, PLEASE - but we did anyway. Here's how the idea came about for the Quester's Guide To Saving It. Just two writers, A I and too much time on their hands. Features material from the first 3 and previously unreleased shows that found their way straight onto the cutting room floor. But in this age of recycling and no waste -...

The quest is over. Time now for B & Jon to take stock and consider a bid from movie director, Peter Jeegson, who's interested in optioning The Quester’s Guide. And despite turning his nose up at the project to begin with, Brian's keen to get involved in any new venture, believing whatever it may be, his vocal skills are worthy of a role more upfront and centre.  You can contact and follow...

The end. It's the end. Of the story that is, not of the podcast. The podcast will go on. It's the conclusion of the story, and we find out who wins the world: Grandolf or Phlardarse. Is Earth safe? Will we live happily ever after? Or will we all soon speak Pharsical and bow to a chubby despot? Well, tune in to find out. You can also contact the show follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmai...

In this episode, the questers find out why less is more when it comes to singing. It looks like they may just win against Phlardy's army. Then someone unleashes the mighty sword, Glabberdong ... You can also contact the show follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -  Rune...

The questers have only just arrived in Brighton and the body count is already going up. So don't stand in their way or you'll get stabbed. Grumpy Grandolph! Their search for the key of Svert continues and they have a hot lead of where it can be found. You can also contact the show follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly Music &...

The Pharse Hole is open and the coordinates are set for earth. But will King Phlardarse fit through the hole? Because he still hasn't lost any weight. Luckily, he's wearing his corset and compression pants. He's ready. But is he really? He's forgotten something. Thank goodness Scheiner is by his side. You can also contact the show follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twi...

The showdown between Grandolf and Barbage is in full swing and the battle soon becomes quite epic, not. It's touch and go, not. Luckily, Grandolf is an expert at reading body language, not. Barbage has four boobs, yes she does, and they (the boobs, that is) seem to be the barometer for how well the fight is going for her, or not. And who ordered an Uber and why? All this, and much more, happe...

Well, it's showdown time. Can Grandolf and co defeat Barbage III and resume their quest to save the world? A big storm kicks up. It's so bad (the storm, that is) that Hilda and Brian decide to go home (whoever Hilda and Brian are). They really should have gone to Spain. Eh? You can also contact the show follow us on social media: email: gcdontfly@gmail.com Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_co...

The bus carrying the questers hangs precariously off the pier at Worthing. Will it fall into the sea (the bus, that is) and send our heroes to their certain death? Or can a little girl and her love for ice cream save them? And what's that dingy doing, rowing across the Channel from France? This episode is full of questions for which there are no sensible answers. You can also contact the show...

The Questers are on the bus to Brighton, doing bus passenger things (like looking out of the window and kicking the seat in front), when all of a sudden ... Oh my God ... the worst thing of all worst things that could possibly happen on a bus happens. It might just be the end of the Quest. You can also contact the show follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly...

They may be in Bognor but that doesn't mean the end of the quest. Now they are here, they now have to go there: to Brighton. Because the Key of Svert is inside the Box of Zwock, which is inside the rock of Brighton, which is ... But how can a group of heroic questers get to Brighton? The most convenient mode of transport perhaps? But as we all know, public transport isn't what it's promised to be....

Back at his castle, King Phlardarse is planning the end of humanity by .... trying on a new pair of pantaloons and waistcoat, freshly delivered by Yodel. You can also follow us on social media: Twitter:@GreenCowsPod Instagram: green_cows_dont_fly email: gcdontfly@gmail.com music & artwork: Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -  Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:  https://bit.ly...

We meet a new character and oh dear that person is in a bad mood. So bad it may just cause Armageddon right now. You can also follow us on social media:Twitter:@GreenCowsPodInstagram: green_cows_dont_flyemail: gcdontfly@gmail.commusic & artwork:Show Theme: https://bit.ly/3EQUmrG -  Rune-Bertil's Pandora's Ficka Book Theme:  https://bit.ly/3n2WzdT -  xelementumign1s Pixabay Art: https:/ Hosted on A...