GR8 Relationships

Without clarity of good and bad, anything goes. Satan wants us confused, thinking that things are not really good or bad. In fact, he wants you to think that things are complex, even those things that are plain and obvious. The primary strategy that he uses to add complexity to our life is was used with Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The common pattern everyone experiences has three simple steps and it sounds like this: “I was living this way. Then one day THIS happened. Now I live my life differently.”

Actions can help your feelings change. But if you are acting differently than you feel, does that mean you "Fake it till you make it?" Since your feelings are indicators, they reveal what your thoughts are and what your actions may be. Feelings and BehaviorNo doubt, thinking belongs at the beginning, so should acting come second or third? You can realize significant benefits when you act, even whe...

Some people aren't interested in getting to a solution or finding a way to get along - they say, "Just let me be mad!" Is that okay? Not if they are not willing to slow down and talk to help resolve whatever is the issue. But, you also want them to express those feelings whether valid or not. Feelings are bad or good; they are just indicators. Therefore, they respond to the stimuli they receive an...

To use the Magic Question tool properly you need good listening and question skills. It is designed to help people discover solutions rather than being told what to do. Try these steps on yourself and see what happens.

Do you have a favorite scary movie? Maybe the classic movie "Pyscho". Mine is the original "Alien" and even though it is my favorite, it's difficult to watch, because it does such a good job of scaring me with its special effects and story!

The Freedom V is an excellent tool and principle because it helps you grasp the relationship between freedom and self-governance. The Freedom V graphic is largely self-explanatory. The two most essential elements are the V shape and the arrow in the middle. The V ElementsFirst, the V shape. The lines on the right and left are boundaries that define the limits of acceptable behavior. These boundari...

The Antonov 225 is a very large airplane—350 tons and can carry 300 tons of cargo—but it flies! That must mean that gravity is not real OR there is a principle higher than gravity. Of course, gravity is real, but Bernoulli's Principle shows us that speed combined with the shape of a wing creates lift "defying" gravity.

Judging other people is so easy, isn't it? All it takes is to look around at all of the "other sinners" and start our judgmental engine. And, what is best about it, even if we don't know something that they are doing that's wrong, we still can speculate about how bad they are. When we are judgmental, we are not willing to accept someone the way they are—flawed, depraved humans just like us. Our "F...

When you operate with freedom toward others, you do not judge them. You can be disappointed with their behavior, but you recognize that any change they make will not last unless they decide to change.

When you want to be accepted by others you will be controlled by them. Now think about it, it’s their choice whether they will accept you—you must meet their standards (probably multiple standards) and even if you meet their standards, they still may not accept you. Ultimately it comes down to whether they want to accept you or not. And, if you really want to be accepted, you may compromise or ign...

Past promises or goals you made can become obligations. It is no longer what you "want" it is now a “have to do”. Now all obligations are not evil, that is not the point. When you start sensing the "have to do" you begin to ignore that you still have freedom to do it or not. You have taken a desire or want, a good goal or commitment and now it requires compliance, blocking any sense of choice or f...

As with most of this relationship material, I represent the way to NOT be doing relationships. And, for this control people item, that's me! I speak control fluently and will tell you it severely damages relationships.

It's a very old problem, kids blaming their parents for how they turned out. And from the parents side, taking credit for the kids turning out well or feeling like losers when the kids don't. God speaks directly to that issue in Ezekiel 18.

You are "concerned" that you see sin in their life and you know from God's Word that the consequences of sin are never good. What should you do? Since they are free to sin, do you ignore it and hope they make another choice? Do you get involved and tell them about the sin and hope they change? Do you tell them about the sin and try to make them change? What if they never change?

Our working definition of freedom is "Acting without force or manipulation or acting without controlling or being controlled." Freedom is often not easy for us to understand, especially how it works in relationships. Without freedom in a relationship, you will never know if someone is relating to you simply because they want to. Go listen to "The Third Tool" on the Radio page to help you start und...

You are probably not experiencing as much freedom as you think. Even when we are irresponsible with our freedom, not caring about others, we often become controlled by life, circumstances and people. Go listen to "Two Ways to Live and The Third Tool" on the Radio page to listen how we too often live in this Left Circle. And, watch the "Freedom for You: Two Circles" videos in chapter 8.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is so good for you, but it gets derailed when you combine it with things like reconciliation. If you think you must reconcile with someone that may prevent you from the freedom you can have through forgiveness. Listen to hear how reconciliation is completely separate from forgiveness.

Forgiveness will heal a multitude of relationship problems, but it is not natural to consider it, especially shortly after someone has hurt you. The pain of what they did to you typically removes any thinking about forgiveness—the actual cure for you.

How is it possible that what attracts you to someone could actually become a big problem later in the same relationship? All couples are faced with this issue, so listen to hear how this works.

Whenever I hear someone say some version of "they are falling in love," it not only tells me they do not understand love, but also they are unlikely to know the basics of relationships. Unfortunately, if you believe people "fall in love" you must believe that people "fall out of love." What a horrible distortion of what love is and how to have a great relationship.

When you have difficulties in a relationship, it is easy to wonder how long the problem will last. Worse yet, when one person is unwilling to make changes to help the relationship, it is very easy to wonder how long you can take it. The predominant question seems to be, “What if this never changes?”This podcast is an essential resource for anyone struggling with those thoughts.

If you want personal transformation, the Lord has graciously provided all the steps to achieve it. If you’re going to coach someone to make changes or improve their life, you need to hear the Godly way to do this. Personal transformation includes our choice and God’s power. It is your partnership with God that He has already said that He will accomplish in you. It is simply a matter of letting Him...

When you hear and see how the words male and female are used in Hebrew, you get a clearer understanding of the need for God in marriage. God designed man and woman for a perfect complementary relationship.  He designed them in His image, which becomes even more interesting when you look at the Hebrew words for man and woman in Genesis.

In the previous episode, you heard my belief about the unifying theory of life. It is all about the image of God and involves...truth and loveseparate and belongingpowerful and relationalEach two-word combination is an excellent way to think about the Image of God. When you review both Old and New Testament scriptures, you will find the context typically supports those combinations of words. And t...