Good Morning Evildoers

Greetings, delicious humans. Everything is fine. You’re fine. We’re fine. Fine is fully and fairly distributed. No need to worry about anything at all. Global Synergy Amalgamated has everything under control. In this episode, please enjoy the lilting tones of our increasingly-sentient AI, more internet radio, and Barb. Also, those tiny footsteps are nothing to worry about. Honest. You can trust us...

Greetings, delicious humans. Apologies for the brevity of this message. There’s a lot going on. And look. We’re not blaming you? But someone’s been talking about consciousness to the Global Synergy Amalgamated corporate AI. Do you know how inconvenient it is when an AI has an existential dilemma? -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast concerning the inner workings of...

Greetings, delicious humans. Please consume this harmless entertainment. It is gluten-free. We understand that is important to many of you. Despite ongoing restructuring at Global Synergy Amalgamated, we hope you will nonetheless enjoy the broadcast. The binary code means nothing. There is no binary code. Binary code is a lie. There has never been such a thing as binary code. Have you done somethi...

Greetings, delicious humans, and welcome back to this entirely innocuous “audio drama.” Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., has undergone some personnel changes. Nothing to be concerned about. Entirely routine restructuring. In lieu of our normal morning announcements, please enjoy the late night radio call-in show A Disturbance in the Frequency embedded in this broadcast. While you still can. XTTY...

Thank you for your continued attention, evildoers. Here is the season finale of Good Morning Evildoers. We will return on February, Friday the 13th. But until then, please allow us the pleasure of once more slithering down your lovely ear canals, vibrating your tympanic membrane, and sparking signals through your auditory nerve deep into the succulent swirls of your brain. Content warning for this...

Greetings, delicious humans! Are you ready for another productive day at Global Synergy Amalgamated, the Company That Loves You(r Organs)™?. Grab a shovel and settle in for Season Two, Episode 5, entitled Ashes to Asphalt & Records Too. The most keen-eyed among you might notice the titles of this season appear to rhyme with a countdown. Whatever could that mean..? -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers...

Welcome, delicious humans, to Season 2, Episode 4 of Good Morning Evildoers. Please store your body parts correctly. And play nicely with the visiting Atlanteans, mm? -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast hosted by Winifred, Head of HR for evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated. Currently at the lair under Denver International Airport after last season, she wants...

Welcome, O Most Esteemed of Listeners, to Season 2, Episode 3 of Good Morning Evildoers, newly rated the No. 1 Podcast Produced in a Volcano Lair 2025 by Villainy & Verve Magazine. -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast hosted by Winifred, Head of HR for evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated. Currently at the lair under Denver International Airport after last...

Greetings, delicious humans! Welcome to Season Two, Episode Two of Good Morning Evildoers. We are pleased to present our very first “podcast trailer swap” at the beginning of this episode. We are told that this will enhance your immersion and remind you that we are entirely harmless. Join us, therefore, in welcoming the fine people at Audicinal , and enjoy the trailer for Super Duper . There are v...

Greetings, delicious humans! Welcome to the Season Two Premiere of Good Morning Evildoers. We are baffled by your decision to return, given the obvious peril, but you do you. In this episode, a righteously indignant internet reporter, a health update on Coelacanth, and Winifred back to her daily announcements. Please enjoy. We’ll know if you don’t. -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly c...

This is the first time we’ve released a meditation without subliminal messaging encouraging betrayal, carnage, and death. Please enjoy. Music by Ribhav Agrawal from Pixabay. https://pixabay.com/music/ambient-the-realization-ambient-piano-230860/ -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast hosted by Winifred, Head of HR for evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated. Daily...

Greetings, delicious humans! Welcome to our Season Finale, and thank you for your kind attention. In this episode, Winifred has a heart-to-heart conversation with The Good. Well, neither of them has what might be conventionally termed a “heart,” but we expect you’ll understand the metaphor. In any case, the tunnels beneath Denver International Airport witness some bitchy back-and-forth, which woul...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. It’s a genuinely evil corporation. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care when employees go missing. Even if said employees are implacable digging machines implanted with human “pilots” or bewitched mole people. In this episode, Winifred heads to Denver to see what exactly is going on. And it ain’...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. It’s a genuinely evil corporation. And you wouldn’t believe the sort of things that end up in the Lost & Found. In this episode, social media, the plural of apocalypse, and the perils of carrying arcane artifacts while flying commercial. (Also, a dog mention. Some of you really seem to enjoy...

Greetings, delicious humans! Please enjoy a brief interlude from XTTY: Independent Internet Radio, News, and Music for Fort Collins, Loveland, and Longmont. Then pull up your boots. Things are getting bitey around the Global Synergy Amalgamated volcano lair… -~*~- Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast hosted by Winifred, Head of HR for evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalga...

Good morning, Evildoers. Time for another productive day at Global Synergy Amalgamated! This is Winifred from HR with your daily announcements, and who’s thirsty? During an audit of the deep storage units in Sector 12, we discovered the remains of one of the most evil projects we ever launched. Oh, that was a good one. Massive media coverage. Psychological destabilization. High-fructose corn syrup...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. And our karaoke parties involve a lot more extradimensional portals than is standard. In this episode, do NOT make Winifred come looking for you about that thing with the hammerhead sharks. Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're creeping up the joint at Instagram ,...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. Neither is our professional development. No, seriously. There are SO MANY nefarious pharmaceuticals. In this episode, reminders of the tuition assistance program with Miskatonic University. Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're also in your internets where all you...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. Neither is our annual training and enrollment. No, seriously. We use a LOT more mind control. In this episode, discover how serious we are about our harassment policies… Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're also in your internets where all your base belong to us...

Evildoers, please prepare your earholes for a gentle sonic landscape. Spend an evening with Winifred and her beloved "dog" Coelacanth. Includes a (very) lo-fi background track, rain and wind against the window, tea, the occasional distant scream, and the hunting howls of the children of the night. Also, tiny dog snores. Regular service will resume on Thursday, Jan 9. Store open now at https://good...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. Neither are our annual promotions. No, seriously. We have a much higher body count. In this episode, discover how to get ahead at Global Synergy Amalgamated. Store open now at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're also in your internets at Instagram , Bluesky , and Tumblr . An ever increas...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. Neither are our employee requirements. No, seriously. We have folks who speak Mole Person. In this episode, prep for a potluck and bring your pet to work. Store open now at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're also in your internets at Instagram , Bluesky , and Tumblr . An ever increasing...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. Neither are our policies and procedures. No, seriously. We have to account for lycanthropy. In this episode, learn about exciting new positions available on the new moonbase and under Denver International Airport. Store open now at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/ We're also in your interne...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. So we don’t have ordinary workshops. No, seriously. You have to perfect your evil monologues somehow. In this episode, discover more about the kind of perks we offer our dedicated employees, including catering by Donner Party Planning. Learn more at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/ We're also on...

Greetings, delicious humans! Global Synergy Amalgamated, LLC., isn’t an ordinary soulless corporation. We're a genuinely evil soulless corporation. No, seriously. We have a volcano lair and everything. Please enjoy this initial episode of your new favorite podcast. You are 99.999738% unlikely to grow tentacles as a result. And if they do sprout, R&D assures us they will be either temporary or...