Giles Coren Has No Idea

What constitutes being fit for your age…a lap of the track, twenty push ups, or lugging a TV to the tip and changing the bed sheets? Giles and Esther put themselves to the test. Is ‘fat neck’ a sign of being unfit, or an ailment or not a thing at all. Whatever it is, Giles definitely doesn’t have it! And while we’re on illness, he doesn’t have man flu either. In fact, ‘man flu’ is just a tired tro...

Welcome back and a Happy New Year. Giles welcomes 2024 by pondering the impending apocalypse. Thankfully that doesn’t last long before thoughts turn to working or wanking, or both. Is work by its very definition not to be enjoyed? To quote Esther; “it’s boring and it never stops.” It is unlikely that public sex acts would improve matters much, but it is hard not to consider once the seed has been...

It's fun, it's festive, it’s a bumper edition. We hope you enjoy it. If you do, please share. Merry Christmas, see you in the New Year. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Its Christmas and it’s all hands to the ideas pump. Giles has columns to write, lots of them, and he’d like them done before Christmas eve. Cue a list of perennial Christmas crackers; cost of Christmas, Whamageddon!, other things to avoid before Christmas, who likes Christmas pudding and dead or alive at Christmas… A quick look at robot reverends and Esther’s tips on prepping for the end of the wo...

Giles and Esther are feeling a little uneasy about discussing the news. Well, one story in particular, the Israel Gaza conflict. Can anything be said, is anyone the right person to say it? In cheerier news, winter is here, hurrah! Light the fire, hunker down and see no one. Whilst huddled under a blanket Esther has an idea, possibly one ‘borrowed’ from an Adam Sandler film; Esther wants to enact V...

Alternative titles this week could have been ‘Massive Nuts’ or ‘Now imagine you’re on twitter, 16 and a bit thick.’ Anyway, how are you? Yes, you? All set for Christmas? I don’t know where the time goes, only seems two minutes since it was January. Care for a biscuit...? Giles and Esther are discussing small talk. It seems that some Gen Z's might need a helping hand with face-to-face communication...

An eclectic mix of men’s health, politics, literary theory, and superheroes this week. There is an unfortunate faecal air but fear not it is all in aid of cancer awareness, cinematic description or simply doing the Times’ dirty work. Giles ponders what kind of resignation letter he’d write, and Esther writes an ode to David Cameron.   Finally, the superhero is dead, long live the superhero…sa...

Giles is feeling cut adrift, in the camp but not part of it, fearing the plight of a secular Jew is a rip off.  With that conundrum left unanswered they try to help Barbra Streisand find some fun in her life.  Both agree it is more likely a good book by the fire then a private jet to see Katie Perry.  Finally, a big shout out to our listeners in New Zealand – Kia Ora!  Hos...

After a difficult few weeks Giles and Esther are back. Understandably the conversation begins with the ongoing conflict in the middle east, and its jarring contrast with the rest of life. Matters develop as the idea of emigrating emerges…well running away would be more accurate. But where to, that is the question; Cuba, New Zealand, Mumbai…? Finally, the ‘fruity’ language of Dominic Cummings…or is...

As you might expect, this week is a difficult episode. Giles tries to make sense of events and his fluctuating reaction to them. There isn’t much room for levity but Snoop dog releasing a new wine and Esther's fear of bedbugs do there best to offer some light to a very dark week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Giles and Esther take a pragmatic look at the Tory party conference and wonder what the pay off might be to go with many of the policy announcements. Neither are happy at the idea of doing maths until they’re eighteen, after all many of Giles’ friends from set four did very well without it, thank you very much. Exeter university are running a masters course on magic, you can imagine the reaction....

Flying cars, white wine on tap and ash trays by the bath. What possible wonders could the future hold? Whatever they are Giles hopes to live to see them but is pretty sure even with flying cars their will still be gridlock in the skies. Boris and Carrie’s former nannie has hit the papers, demonstrating one of Esthers mottos, always pay the staff. And a man walks into a bar and the barman says: ”Ar...

The subject of Russell Brand prompts Giles to ponder the merits of being a conspiracy theorist. Esther has been given the nod that comedians aren’t very good in bed, or is that just another conspiracy theory.  Prime Minister Sunak is taken to task over his rolling back of the Conservative party green agenda and does Paris actually exist, at least the fetishised American version of it?  H...

Giles and Esther are back for series eleven. Giles is annoyed with, well, everything, but podcasts and restaurants in particular. For a man who makes his living from both it could be problematic. On the menu this week is the cost of restaurants, as Rich Stein is started charging for ketchup and Tom Kitchen is charging one hundred and seventy pounds for a Sunday lunch. Yes, one-hundred-and-seventy-...

This week’s pod was recorded on Wednesday morning, BEFORE Huw Edwards was named as the ‘mystery BBC presenter’ in question. As a result, Giles and Esther spend the first few minutes trying very hard to stay on the right side of libel law. Please do have a laugh at their (and Neil’s) expense as they walk a pointless tightrope. In other news; unique sounds, tennis is boring and for wusses and an alt...

G’day cobbers! Giles and Esther take a considered look at the ECB equality report; they then take a far less serious look at ‘cheating Aussie b**tards’. Is twitter dead Esther pulls on the thread to find out. After a short break it is a whistle stop tour of Wimbledon past and present, Debrett’s guide and puppy yoga before Giles heads off to practice his didgeridoo and Esther feeds the Kookaburras....

If you’re wondering what ‘bazball’ is Giles gives a mercifully short explanation before trying to apply it to life. Esther is preoccupied with various tall attractive fast bowlers.   They then discuss the perfect nap, the art of grifting and the sensitive subject of temperamental performers. Giles is very honest as he discusses how in the past, he earnt a reputation for being ‘difficult....

What do ‘Carry On’ actor Bernard Bresslaw and American actress Zendaya have in common? Not much I imagine, but they do both appear in this week’s pod. Giles and Esther give their take on middle age, British AI and Johns Hopkins University’s definition of a lesbian. Giles decides to introduce Billy Bunter to cruciferous vegetables (no, me neither), and they consider if they have ever changed their...

If I say ‘the Queen’ who do you think of? Camilla or Elizabeth? Esther makes the same mistake, but Giles is too busy thinking about ex girlfriends.   Is the Bible compatible with modern sensibilities? Giles and Esther have a stab at de-sexy-fi-ing it. They also tackle vet bills and Prince Harry before Giles decides to see what lurks at the back of the fridge. Hosted on Acast. See acast.c...

Many subjects try, but many fail to pique Giles’ interest this week. Seagulls, sex lives and holidays are dismissed before German ablutions come close. Next, a motion by the always eager to please Liberal Democrats faces gallant failure. In the end it is an inadvertent sneeze that reveals the diamond in the rough…or the raspberry in the bush. Ick nicht auf vin pisser. Children that they are, Giles...

Coming up on this morning’s show…. Esther and Giles make their long-awaited pitch to replace Holly and Phil on daytime TV. They prove their worth by tackling serious subjects such as long-term sickness. They tug on the heartstrings with an emotional story about Giles’ late father; they make the effortless gear change to a personal struggle about ADHD, before finally a bit of bouncy mid-morning rel...

Esther is shocked by a new book she is reading; Giles is shocked to hear that botox is ultimately a manifestation of a fear of death. They discuss the truth about getting old as a woman, and as a man, but more as a woman. Finally, it doesn’t take a 1st from Oxford to know that the kitchen is the heart of any home, but it seems our American cousins have only just figured this out. Hosted on Ac...

Killed, plucked, and wrapped in plastic…not Esther’s Christmas present to Giles but the life of a farmed chicken. That is one of the subjects addressed in this week’s eclectic episode. Diets, saggy faces, a royal crush and mind reading also feature …oh and the coronation. Now, why did I come in here…and what’s my name…? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the coronation around the corner Giles considers the merits of republicanism…but not for long. In a stark example of modern day classism King Charles decides what he would like named after him while others are not even called my their own name. Seeking to better themselves Giles and Esther ponder how one properly navigates flatulence whilst receiving a knighthood? And why on earth would anyon...

If you wanna know if he loves you so its in his…laugh. Giles listens very carefully to Esthers giggles to see if she is still madly in love with him. Will a three year cruise restore the romance or perhaps an encounter with poet Alan Ginsberg? After some monkeying around Esther and Giles come to the rescue of some ramblers.  Season 9 ends here. Seasons 10 begins after Easter. Thanks for liste...