Ghosted, Gagged and Gay!

What’s the real difference between privacy and secrecy in gay dating and why does it matter so much for emotional safety? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay is joined by Samuel Garza Bernstein (screenwriter, author, and playwright) for a conversation about how shame shapes the way gay men date, love, and protect themselves. We talk about what “authenticity” can look like when being...

In gay dating, the biggest red flags aren’t always loud. Sometimes they’re polished. Charming. Reasonable. Sometimes they’re beautiful masks. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay sits down with Frank Spinelli—physician and author of Precious Friends: Murder in Sag Harbor—for a conversation about shame, secrecy, emotional availability, and the relationship patterns that keep so many g...

What if the biggest red flags in gay dating aren’t the obvious ones, but the quiet ones you rationalize because the chemistry is strong? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay sits down with Lamont Scales White (the Gay Dating Coach), a certified matchmaker, dating coach, and couples counselor who has matched hundreds of gay men since 2014, to break down what predicts long-term relatio...

What happens when queer connection starts online, but your nervous system still thinks being fully seen is unsafe? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay , Lonay sits down with Kestral Gaian, best-selling author and award-winning writer exploring identity, connection, and queer liberation across poetry, fiction, theatre, and screen, to talk about the difference between being visible and being...

Gay dating can feel harder than ever — endless swiping, mixed signals, “not ready” energy, and chemistry that burns hot but goes nowhere. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Trevor Kuhn (aka Love Daddy), a love, relationship, and confidence coach and matchmaker for gay and bi men, to break down why modern gay dating feels so exhausting…and what actually works if you want a...

What does it actually look like to move from survival mode to self-love as a queer man, especially after years of homophobia, bullying, and pressure to “be a certain kind of man”? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, I sit down with Stef Vachon, proud queer man, husband, father, keynote speaker, former international professional figure skater, and host of the Together Moving Forward podcas...

In this solo episode of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay, I unpack a shocking Grindr story that perfectly exposes the emotional damage hookup apps can create in the LGBTQ+ community. What started as hours of chemistry and connection ended in instant rejection, ghosting, blocking… and unexpected karma at a job interview. But this episode goes much deeper than one story. I talk about how apps like Grindr can...

Internalized homophobia doesn’t always look like self-hatred on the surface. Sometimes it’s the quiet flinch when you’re seen. The urge to hide your relationship. The pattern of chasing emotionally unavailable men. The “I’m fine” while your nervous system is bracing. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay , Lonay (certified hypnotherapist + Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner) breaks...

If you’re a gay man looking for a healthy, long-term relationship, finding a boyfriend isn’t about trying harder, performing better, or fixing yourself into someone “more desirable.” It’s about clarity, emotional availability, and dating from a grounded place, not from fear, loneliness, or burnout. In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay , Lonay breaks down how to find a boyfriend as a gay man...

Most gay men don’t fail at relationships because they don’t love enough, they fail because certain behaviors slowly kill emotional safety, attraction, and trust (often without realizing it). In this solo episode of Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay , Lonay breaks down the biggest DON’Ts that sabotage gay and queer relationships, like insults disguised as jokes, blame, competition, distrust, resentment, den...

What does it actually mean to be emotionally available, beyond the Instagram buzzwords and therapy speak? In this episode, I break down emotional availability from a grounded, real-life perspective, especially within gay and queer dating dynamics. Because being “nice,” “loving,” or “spiritual” does not automatically mean you’re emotionally available. As a gay relationship coach, RTT practitioner,...

Feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you’ve lost your sparkle after heartbreak? This week on Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay , Lonay sits down with Erica Wiederlight, renowned confidence coach, speaker, and host of the top-rated podcast Welcome To The Wiederlife . Together, they explore how confidence, self-love, and pleasure can completely transform your queer dating experience, and help you break free fro...

In this powerful episode of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay , Lonay is joined by award‑winning writer, educator, and media critic Dr. Jonathan Paul Higgins (Doctor Jon Paul) for a conversation at the intersection of Blackness, queerness, fatness, and love . Together, they explore what liberated, affirming love can look like for Black queer folks in a world that constantly tells them to shrink. From visibi...

Are you tired of falling for people who can’t (or won’t) show up for you? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into why so many LGBTQ+ rainbows find themselves chasing emotionally unavailable partners, and what it really means for your self-worth and future happiness. ✨ Here’s what you’ll get in this episode: The hidden reasons behind chasing emotional unavailability How childhood patt...

In this solo episode of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay , host Lonay—relationship coach and Rapid Transformational Therapy® practitioner—dives deep into the world of heavy emotions within the LGBTQ+ community. Why do so many queer people struggle to express or process big feelings like love, sadness, or anger? How does growing up suppressing our true selves impact our ability to connect deeply in relation...

What happens after coming out — when the journey is no longer about labels, but about living as your fullest, truest self? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged & Gay! , I sit down with Josh O’Neill — Executive Director, entrepreneur, and creative spirit — to explore his transformation “from farm to fabulous.” Josh shares candidly about his path through loss, love, heartbreak, and healing , and h...

What does it mean to grow older as a gay man — especially when illness and care needs enter the picture? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged & Gay! , I talk with Daphne Wright — nurse, writer, and hopeful traveler — about her new novel that was born during the long days of the pandemic. We explore the story of Brice , an older gay man navigating life after losing his husband, facing an ALS diag...

How do our desires, fantasies, and kinks fit into living authentically? In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged & Gay! , Lonay Halloum sits down with Dr. Steven Davidson , clinical sexologist, author of Sexual Integrity: Finding the Courage to be Yourself, and host of The Sexual Integrity Coach on YouTube. With over 30 years of experience, Dr. Davidson has guided individuals, couples, and even thro...

In this episode of Ghosted, Gagged & Gay , we dive into bold reinvention, identity shifts, and building a life aligned with your truth. My guest, Kate Capelli , is a Business Growth Coach for coaches, a marketing nerd, and a self-described adventure junkie. From patrolling the streets as a police officer to founding one of the UK’s largest women’s adventure companies, Kate’s life is a mastercl...

Have you ever felt stuck — like you’re going through the motions of life, checking every box, looking “successful” on the outside… but on the inside, something feels numb or off? Today’s guest, Yannick Picard , is a queer life coach who specializes in helping people move from functional freeze to full aliveness. In this powerful episode, we explore how high-functioning individuals — especially wit...

Welcome to Ghosted, Gagged & Gay — the show where queer love, identity, and self-acceptance take center stage. Today’s guest is someone whose story is a powerful reminder that choosing authenticity is one of the bravest things we can do. Katia Padilha , born and raised in Brazil, spent 10 years in service through a Christian NGO — devoted to community, yet deeply disconnected from her own trut...

Welcome back to Ghosted, Gagged & Gay — the podcast where we celebrate the beautiful chaos of queer love, identity, and healing. In this episode, I’m joined by the brilliant Wes Ferguson — a queer actor, writer, director, and creator of the viral LGBTQ+ horror series Ghosted , blending satire, seduction, and scares into unforgettable storytelling. You may also know Wes from his starring role i...

Welcome to the very first episode of Ghosted, Gagged & Gay — the podcast where we dive into the magic, mess, and meaning of queer love. In this powerful kickoff, I’m joined by the incredible Skylar McManus — author of the LGBTQ+ graphic novel Essence , co-host of the neurodivergent podcast Mentally Tabbed Out , and a real-life agile coach helping teams (and maybe hearts) thrive. We dive into:...

✨ Welcome to Ghosted, Gagged & Gay — the podcast where we unpack the messy, magical, and often maddening world of queer love. I’m your host, Lonay — queer relationship coach and Rapid Transformational Therapy® practitioner — and I created this space to explore the real stories, patterns, and subconscious blocks shaping our love lives. In this trailer, you’ll get a taste of what to expect: raw...