Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

Buckle your seat belts, as we take you on a ride back to 1971, and the age of gigantic cars, most notably the iconic Cadillac, which an ad called “The best synonym for quality.” Scott once bought a $10 stapler that the salesman called “The Cadillac of staplers.”

Tom ponders getting cosmetic surgery, or “co -surg”, the phrase he coined. But at Scott’s urging, and due to our current situation, he chooses DIY non surgical alternatives.

Scott overcomes his procrastination, and uses his Waterpik Water Flosser for the first time,, with copious amounts of water shooting out at the shower curtain and on his clothes. Tommy suggests a 310 foot animatronic statue of Scott using a Water Flosser.

We’ve talked about phrase and cliche writers and ghost writers, but what about store name writers? They should avoid soon to be outdated names like 2.0. A restaurant in the 50’s called Blacklist is not likely to be in business today.

We think of ourselves as work from home astronauts who journey into space every single day on this podcast. And we defy the gravity that pulls normal conversations back to Earth.

We often take flights of fancy to the past but today we’re looking forward to taking actual flights next spring and summer. And doing something we haven’t done since March. Make plans.

Tom is a “fast foodie”, and loves Domino’s, which pizza purists scorn. Especially during these times, Scott also loves comfort food because it’s delicious and helps us get through the day.

Walking is the most powerful thing we can do. We just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. That’s why we want The Pedestrian to be honored with an enormous monument.

It’s time for the spoken word to be matched with the appropriate fonts. Soon scripts will have different fonts depending on the character and their dialogue. And for our nemesis, the goons, there will be a goon family of fonts.

Tom and Scott are thankful they recorded this episode on Thanksgiving Day., which includes, for the first time ever on a podcast, a real time procrastination. Don’t put off listening to this until later.

Tom wonders how he will spend the many hours that he used to watch cable news, once Trump and the pandemic are over. We rule out ice fishing. And notice we spelled it fishing, not fishin’. People like us who don’t fish don’t drop the g.

We explain how the “refer a friend and you both save $50” promotion can lead to world peace, or at least a Hallmark movie. Plus, we come up with an award winning commercial for Pirate’s Booty.

Tom recalls the life changing advice of a waitress at a cafe he used to frequent in the Pacific Palisades. Scott has never had a place where everyone knew his name, but the fruit stand guy on the corner usually gives him five bananas for the price of four.

Scott takes the subway and NJ Transit train to see our friends Bill and George for the first time in eight and a half months, and dines deliciously on chicken cacciatore and other fine Italian specialties. What would Ponce de Leon think about Scott’s exploration?

Tom has always wanted to publish a local gossip sheet, Palisades Confidential about the Pacific Palisades. But he worries about the reaction from his neighbors.

The word “motto” is rarely used these days so naturally we decided to talk about coming up with one for our show. We can’t use someone else’s motto, although Scott loves the one Langston Hughes wrote. “Dig, and be dug in return.”

Scott buys a flat HD antenna for $10, and is transported back to the past.. And Tom and Scott agree that they would never do a joke that caused a world war, or even a regional conflict.

Tom shockingly reveals that, despite his closeness and actual conversations with his cat Oliver, he is allergic to cats. Scott wishes all of the world’s problems could be explained that way? “Global warming? Nah, it’s just allergies.”

Tom is worried about his wife’s, upcoming car journey in India, so Scott suggests she contact the Dalai Lama, who lives near her, to see if, instead of driving, she can fly with him on a fractional ownership NetJet.

Scott feels like a king who has a private chef, with his prepared dinners delivered by Cook Unity and Freshly. And Tom’s speculative history centers on how the first king was able to convince everyone to give him complete power.

Although there is nothing on their walls at their respective homes, Scott is a collector of movie one sheets, and Tom owns several framed lobby cards of obscure silent films,

We picture how much fun, free and uninhibited life will be after this is over. Like the Roaring 1920’s, the 2020’s will feature madcap dance crazes, revealing clothing, and a boundless appetite for affection and human contact. And hopefully no elbow bumps., which is like banging knees.

What if Einstein’s refrigerator invention had been manufactured in 1930.? Would that have helped the world even more than the theory of relativity?

In yet another award winning advertising campaign idea, we come up with an ad about global warming showing a man and a woman wearing waders, those heavy rubber boots that extend all the way to your chest. The headline reads, “If we don’t stop global warming, this is what everyone will wear all the time.”

When a live shot goes terribly wrong, like today when an MSNBC reporter uttered the two worst expletives when he didn’t realize he was on the air. Our advice to pundits and reporters is to never say a curse word when you’re miked or about to be miked, or when you’re not wearing a mic. Only say “Darn” or “Jiminy Crickett”.