Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

Baseball spring training games start Monday with fans in attendance, so what will happen to the cardboard cutouts? We salute the unsung hero, the catcher, who must squat for three hours, wear a mask and heavy padding, while trying to catch a 100 mile fastball with the umpire hovering over his shoulder.

Tom and Scott discover they both did play by play sports announcing from home when they were 12. They imagine a world where Scott and his sister are welcomed into the Motown family after recording their New Year’s Eve song in 1966 on Scott’s Panasonic cassette recorder.

Tom gets his second vaccine on Saturday, and plans to celebrate by returning to Trader Joe’s for the first time in a year and buying desiccated sponges. Scott becomes fully immunized tomorrow, two weeks after his second jab, but he won’t walk to Times Square and kiss a woman, as in the iconic V-E day photo,

After listening to jazz and watching a Motown documentary last night, Scott becomes “The Man Who Remembered There Was Music”. Plus, why we should be sleeping much better than they did in the early 1900’s, even though they wore sleep hats.

In our speculative investigative report, we look at whether algorithms are actually low paid workers with no union benefits, working in a giant underground facility.

We were cheering right along with the NASA scientists yesterday as Perseverance landed on Mars. Next time, the spacecraft should land in one of the suburbs of Mars, to increase the likelihood of intelligent life being there.

We think it’s important to remind people that “standing on the shoulders of the people who came before me” is a metaphor, and should only be attempted by circus acts.

Tom and Scott vow not to let their podcast be bought out by a private equity hedge fund.

“Saving time saves lives” is the headline of our WPA poster, as we create the word “bleakscape” instead of the time consuming “bleak landscape”. Plus, creating a movie poster with rave reviews BEFORE you make a film.

Our listeners are geniuses because they can discern between pure unbridled speculation and fully bridled truth. Which is a far more reliable indicator of intelligence than the outdated “IQ tests”.

Scott shows the world you can still do a podcast even with a very mild reaction to the second vaccine. Tom and Scott miss the days of watching a television show the same time as everyone else, rather than feeling the pressure of bingeing a show so you can talk about it with a friend.

Scott gets his second jab from a friendly nurse, but he makes sure not to be too funny so he doesn’t distract her from delivering the vaccine properly. Tom sings the plaintive song of the inbetweener as he awaits his second dose.

We imagine what it would be like if there was no such thing as a mirror. Why, we would have to hire people to describe what we look like. We celebrate and appreciate the world’s first selfie.

Scott, in his high pitched Brooklyn accent, did Rangers hockey play by play as a kid, and Tom had a standup persona as a German comedian. All part of .our “Accent on Accents”.

Allbirds shoes has the same magic effect on Scott as it does on Tom. But they fear that singing the praises of products will cause multinational advertising conglomerates to try to lure them away with promises of diamond shoes and solid gold Rolls Royces.

When we were growing up, everyone watched television at the same time and talked about it the next day at the office water cooler. Did the decline in water coolers lead to streaming content that you could watch and talk about anytime? We propose the Museum of Water Coolers, and you heard it here first.

As they wait for their second vaccine, Tom and Scott are The Inbetweeners, which sounds like the name of a long running British farce in the West End. And even though Tom got the Moderna and Scott the Pfizer, they are still great friends who live in peace and harmony.

Tom and Scott think they should be co-CEO’s of Amazon. Because if they can do a podcast, they can run a $1.4 trillion company. And offer their friends free subscriptions to the Washington Post.

Scott would politely decline a free Bentley because it would require a lot of work, and have an adverse effect on his social life. Tom reveals another reason: The free Bentley scam. Plus, we retire the expression, “Hoping against hope.”

Scott trudges through the blowing snow, hoping his walk will be seen on local news coverage. And Tom recalls shoveling snow as a teenager in a kind of suburban chain gang.

Tom’s anxiety melts away as he slaloms around the orange pylons at Dodger Stadium and gets the vaccine. The only thing missing was a concession stand with vaccine caps, mugs and t-shirts

A helicopter hovers and shines a beacon of light on Tom’s house. What happens next will thrill and delight you, as will our analysis of the expression “on the lam”, not lamb. Plus, a preview of our lecture to prisoners on why crime doesn’t pay, or at least not as much as it used to.

300 shows in 300 days. Helping you get through this by escaping to a plus positive world where there’s always a silver lining. With flights of fancy and time travel that take you on a journey without getting up from your LaZboy chair.

Tom and Scott are so well stocked with suitcases and shelves respectively, of paper towels and toilet paper, they have become a distribution center for just themselves. And Scott’s 175 mini York Peppermint Patties should cover his desserts through April.

Scott’s Task Rabbit Elizabeth can break the glass ceiling, and then immediately repair it. She assembled his mid century modern sofa after a thrilling Craigslist experience finds a taker for his old sofa.