Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

We’re proud of our track record deconstructing familiar cliches. Now we introduce a weekly segment called Cliche Court, where we put actual cliches on trial.

What will fun look like in Post Pandemica? We see everyone giving people the benefit of the doubt, and it becoming perfectly acceptable to say to a stranger on the street, “Nice face!”

Scott appears as a television pundit for the first time in nine months. Which gives he and Tom the opportunity to give their opinion of the people who give their opinions, as the world’s only pundits who critique other pundits.

We exult in the advent of Daylight Savings time and the longer, lighter days ahead. Fully vaccinated Tom and Scott don’t have grandchildren to hug, but they respectively visit a restaurant and a bar for the first time in a year.

Tom and Scott realize they never got around to becoming rich enough to own a yacht. Maybe the $200 million for the cost of the yacht alone could be doable, but then you have to tack on yearly expenses like $400,000 for fuel. So after looking at those numbers, they decide a more affordable option is simply crashing yacht parties.

We marvel at the wonders of clothing. From performance fabrics that wick away moisture, to hidden pockets that hide your wallet when you don’t want to know where it is. Clothing is The Human Costume.

The point we’re making today is found on the head of a pencil. Yes, the No. 2 pencil. One of the few instances where being number two beats number one.

We think that “elite” schools like Harvard should punish alumni who perform badly in public service. They should have to appear at a ceremony where speakers mock their incompetence and ignorance, while they wear a dunce cap.

Tom and Scott embrace their age, and call themselves Veteran Time Travelers. They believe that an “obscure” reference is just something you haven’t learned yet.

On Scott’s birthday, Tom presents the “un gift”, and creates a new quotation from speculative French literature, “As time goes by, the gifts you don’t receive are the best gifts of all.”

Hypnosis. The most amazing technique that never gets the attention it deserves. Except from us. Scott marvels at the mystery and power, of the rarely examined miracle that Tom has participated in for 46 years.

If climate change was an issue in the 1930’s, the WPA poster would say “Don’t Be Bigfoot”. Tom and Scott want to reduce their carbon footprint, which leads to a discussion about carbon paper, and why our footprint is measured in tons, not feet.

Tom has a hard time replacing the bulbs on the Italian lamps at his house. Scott points out that even the most comfortable homes are missing something. A super.

Tom gets his second jab at Dodger Stadium, the only place in LA without a VIP section. Covid vaccination is the great equalizer. The jury duty of medicine.

Baseball spring training games start Monday with fans in attendance, so what will happen to the cardboard cutouts? We salute the unsung hero, the catcher, who must squat for three hours, wear a mask and heavy padding, while trying to catch a 100 mile fastball with the umpire hovering over his shoulder.

Tom and Scott discover they both did play by play sports announcing from home when they were 12. They imagine a world where Scott and his sister are welcomed into the Motown family after recording their New Year’s Eve song in 1966 on Scott’s Panasonic cassette recorder.

Tom gets his second vaccine on Saturday, and plans to celebrate by returning to Trader Joe’s for the first time in a year and buying desiccated sponges. Scott becomes fully immunized tomorrow, two weeks after his second jab, but he won’t walk to Times Square and kiss a woman, as in the iconic V-E day photo,

After listening to jazz and watching a Motown documentary last night, Scott becomes “The Man Who Remembered There Was Music”. Plus, why we should be sleeping much better than they did in the early 1900’s, even though they wore sleep hats.

In our speculative investigative report, we look at whether algorithms are actually low paid workers with no union benefits, working in a giant underground facility.

We were cheering right along with the NASA scientists yesterday as Perseverance landed on Mars. Next time, the spacecraft should land in one of the suburbs of Mars, to increase the likelihood of intelligent life being there.

We think it’s important to remind people that “standing on the shoulders of the people who came before me” is a metaphor, and should only be attempted by circus acts.

Tom and Scott vow not to let their podcast be bought out by a private equity hedge fund.

“Saving time saves lives” is the headline of our WPA poster, as we create the word “bleakscape” instead of the time consuming “bleak landscape”. Plus, creating a movie poster with rave reviews BEFORE you make a film.

Our listeners are geniuses because they can discern between pure unbridled speculation and fully bridled truth. Which is a far more reliable indicator of intelligence than the outdated “IQ tests”.

Scott shows the world you can still do a podcast even with a very mild reaction to the second vaccine. Tom and Scott miss the days of watching a television show the same time as everyone else, rather than feeling the pressure of bingeing a show so you can talk about it with a friend.