Getting Through This with Tom and Scott

April Fools Day came and went and neither Tom nor Scott pulled any pranks, because they’re morally opposed to them. But Tom did get his first professional haircut since last March, so we introduce our new slogan for the National Association of Barbers: “Haircuts, not pranks.”

Even terrible animation is fun and appreciated by Tom and Scott, as they watch the short lived 1950’s local Chicago cartoon, Paddy and the Pelican, a bird that’s not indigenous to the Chicagoland area.

On their first anniversary show, Tom and Scott address the rumors about why they also did a first anniversary episode a week ago. And their time machine is still missing the part that makes it time travel, so they look back to the past and speculate about the future from the comfort of their LaZBoy recliner.

Tom’s favorite yogurt, Siggi’s coconut, abruptly changes its packaging, and its flavor goes from creamy and smooth to artificial and lumpy. Scott and Tom envision a trip to Reykjavik to implore the corporate board to reinstate the original coconut flavor.

Scott and Tom are time travel film critics, as they go back to March 1969 and discover that The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie with Maggie Smith was a sexier film than I Am Curious (Yellow).

They’re a menace to mankind, but for too long, people have been taking tornadoes lying down( which may well be the safest position). But Tom and Scott think it’s high time we fought back against these wind monsters, and devise scientific techniques involving vacuums and special gloves, that will prevent them from doing damage.

As we approach the first anniversary of this podcast, Tom and Scott look back in time at their very first episode. The show has evolved, but our optimistic and plus positive attitude has never wavered.

Tom and Scott prepare to fly for the first time in more than a year, and are relieved that they just have to wear masks for several hours, instead of a clown suit or a suit of armor. Plus, we’d like to see pilots who are also hypnotists, so they can put us to sleep during turbulence.

Tom and Scott never went on Spring Break, or had a high school prom. Did missing out on those traditions cement their status as outsiders, which fueled their creativity and this podcast?

After Scott watches the 1952 World’s Series on YouTube, Tom comes up with an idea for a sports bar that only shows vintage games on a 1950’s black and white console television.

After watching the 1956 indie film “Lovers and Lollipops”, Scott shows Tom the New York Times arts section exactly as it appeared on April 19, 1956!

We’re proud of our track record deconstructing familiar cliches. Now we introduce a weekly segment called Cliche Court, where we put actual cliches on trial.

What will fun look like in Post Pandemica? We see everyone giving people the benefit of the doubt, and it becoming perfectly acceptable to say to a stranger on the street, “Nice face!”

Scott appears as a television pundit for the first time in nine months. Which gives he and Tom the opportunity to give their opinion of the people who give their opinions, as the world’s only pundits who critique other pundits.

We exult in the advent of Daylight Savings time and the longer, lighter days ahead. Fully vaccinated Tom and Scott don’t have grandchildren to hug, but they respectively visit a restaurant and a bar for the first time in a year.

Tom and Scott realize they never got around to becoming rich enough to own a yacht. Maybe the $200 million for the cost of the yacht alone could be doable, but then you have to tack on yearly expenses like $400,000 for fuel. So after looking at those numbers, they decide a more affordable option is simply crashing yacht parties.

We marvel at the wonders of clothing. From performance fabrics that wick away moisture, to hidden pockets that hide your wallet when you don’t want to know where it is. Clothing is The Human Costume.

The point we’re making today is found on the head of a pencil. Yes, the No. 2 pencil. One of the few instances where being number two beats number one.

We think that “elite” schools like Harvard should punish alumni who perform badly in public service. They should have to appear at a ceremony where speakers mock their incompetence and ignorance, while they wear a dunce cap.

Tom and Scott embrace their age, and call themselves Veteran Time Travelers. They believe that an “obscure” reference is just something you haven’t learned yet.

On Scott’s birthday, Tom presents the “un gift”, and creates a new quotation from speculative French literature, “As time goes by, the gifts you don’t receive are the best gifts of all.”

Hypnosis. The most amazing technique that never gets the attention it deserves. Except from us. Scott marvels at the mystery and power, of the rarely examined miracle that Tom has participated in for 46 years.

If climate change was an issue in the 1930’s, the WPA poster would say “Don’t Be Bigfoot”. Tom and Scott want to reduce their carbon footprint, which leads to a discussion about carbon paper, and why our footprint is measured in tons, not feet.

Tom has a hard time replacing the bulbs on the Italian lamps at his house. Scott points out that even the most comfortable homes are missing something. A super.

Tom gets his second jab at Dodger Stadium, the only place in LA without a VIP section. Covid vaccination is the great equalizer. The jury duty of medicine.