Gathering Gold

Rupture and repair. Rupture and repair. Rupture and repair.  This is the rhythm of all close relationships—even the relationship between Sheryl and Victoria, as we discuss (gingerly, with care) in today’s episode. In any relationship, if we get close enough, we will eventually experience a rupture. We make mistakes, we let each other down, we hurt, and then, with courage, self-awareness, and a fou...

The wild has been banished, pushed to the edges of civilization, pushed to the edges of psyche. Wolves and coyotes, bears and bobcats, rage and sexuality and messiness and imperfection have all been relegated to the outskirts. We long for wildness. We long for freedom and aliveness, creativity and authenticity.  And yet, we might also fear wildness—the way it can control us. The way we can burn ot...

In today’s episode, we hear a very special guest’s story of managing fertility anxiety while trying to conceive for many months. Sarah shares her experience of desperately wanting to get pregnant and deeply fearing it would never happen. Along the way, we discuss finding supportive healthcare providers, learning to navigate sex when trying to conceive, meeting our own or our partner’s ambivalence...

In today's episode, Sheryl reflects on the liminal time between winter and spring, and the way that this season emphasizes a certain truth about life: that joy and grief are intimately, irrevocably connected. That we experience not grief, then joy, not life, then death, but all of it, together, always.  "We think linearly--but maybe, that's not how time, and grief, and memory co-exist. And it's sp...

The spring equinox is a moment of symmetry and balance; the sun sits exactly above the equator, and we experience an equal amount of daylight and darkness. In today’s episode, Sheryl shares her thoughts on the spiritual experience of symmetry, and how fractals in nature convince her that this world is one of not only chaos, but also order—and why that matters so much to highly sensitive people. We...

Today’s episode was inspired by a recent post that Sheryl shared on Instagram about trauma collisions in longterm relationships. In this conversation, we explore what trauma collisions are (and are not), how they differ from arguments, and how we can become more mindful and skillful in responding to them.  Sheryl underscores the role of self-awareness in uncovering the understory of a trauma colli...

You just sat down with a cup of tea and a good book. You’re deeply invested in the plot and sinking into glorious alone time, when suddenly, you hear footsteps. Your partner appears in the room.  “What’s for dinner?” they ask.  Your entire body is instantly flooded with one feeling: irritation.  It’s a feeling that we all have from time to time, including with the people we love most in the world:...

The month of January is named after the Roman god Janus: the god of the doorway. Janus was said to have two faces: one looking ahead, and one looking behind.  We are now in the liminal month of January, moving between two years and looking forward and backward just like Janus. In today's episode, Sheryl encourages us to meet this liminality with curiosity and compassion. Though we may feel off-kil...

In today’s episode, we return gently to sacred ground: the ground of our sexuality.  Last January, we explored what it means to own our sexual sovereignty through reclaiming our right and ability to say no. Today, we begin uncovering our inherent yes, which was likely shamed early in our lives. Sheryl encourages us to gently orient ourselves back towards our innate curiosity, belief in our own goo...

In this special episode, Sheryl's husband Daev Finn joins the show to continue our seasonal exploration of wintry themes. A psychotherapist who uses the metaphor of myth and fairy tales in his work, Daev offers his perspective on the Brothers Grimm telling of "Briar Rose" (otherwise known as "Sleeping Beauty"). Daev, Sheryl, and Victoria read the tale aloud, then share their reflections on themes...

We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark. How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness? How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the nee...

We all know the feeling: jitters before a birthday party. Melting into the wall during a wedding reception. Obsessing over that awkward hug you gave at the potluck. Everyone has their moments of social anxiety, but some of us suffer with it more chronically, perhaps managing a mixture of avoidance and overcompensation. We might worry that we are too quiet or too loud, too boring or too obnoxious—s...

Highly sensitive people bring many gifts to work, and we also face unique challenges—including a persistent longing to bridge the gap between our ideals and the reality of our work life. Whether we are full-time caregivers, lawyers, teachers, baristas, artists, or project managers, we might wonder: am I on the right path? Do I belong in this field? Might the grass be greener somewhere else? We hav...

The witching hour: a time in the middle of the night when we sometimes wake from a potent dream or nightmare, eyes wide in the darkness, heart and body filled with something--fear or grief, regret or restlessness, poems or prayers. In today's episode, we discuss this mysterious portal and how we might find gold glittering in the darkest hours before dawn. References: “Dedicated to the One I Love,”...

In today’s special episode, Sheryl shares her story of navigating a major transition over the past year: ushering her eldest son out of the nest and into college far from home.   Sheryl shares passages from her journal that detail how she rode the waves of grief, reached for support, and found relief after bringing Everest to school and adjusting to home life without him.   And, she and Victoria d...

We hope you enjoy today's "Golden Nugget" mini-episode! We're sharing a voicemail from our lovely listener Olivia, who asked the question that inspired our episode Expectations, Emotions, and Very Big Days . Listen in to hear what happened for Olivia and her partner after she submitted her question, listened to the episode, and sat with the uncertainty of how to approach her wedding day and marria...

Many of us feed our shame with the very food that makes it grow: criticism and cruelty that inspires deeper disconnection and despair. We think that we can control and punish ourselves into perfection, that we can banish our exiled parts into the shadowlands and transcend hurt and vulnerability. And yet, if we take the risk to feed our shame with love, acceptance, and compassion, we will see what’...

Everyone feels shame at one time or another. For some of us, shame is an occasional or even rare experience. It’s an awful feeling, but manageable. For others, shame is a state that we are particularly prone to; our shame gets activated quickly and intensely. We might even walk around in a haze of free-floating shame, inhaling it with the air we breathe.  In today’s episode, Sheryl and Victoria ex...

Today's episode is from the Gathering Gold Patreon Bonus Episode vault! Sheryl and Victoria address a question from Olivia, who is considering marriage with her partner. Olivia's family expects a big wedding, but she dreads being the center of attention. Also...she has some fears about making this forever commitment. Though Olivia's question is about marriage, the themes in this episode will reson...

Everything we do requires some effort. We wake up in the morning, and from that point forward, we exert effort, starting with getting out of bed and brushing our teeth. In our society, it is easy to think of effort as synonymous with drudgery, exhaustion, and an attitude of "never enough." Because of this, we also have a complicated relationship with ease: we struggle to rest, and to trust ease. W...

In today’s solo episode, Victoria responds to Patreon Community questions about resistance to growing up and learning to connect to our wants, needs, and values. Sharing anecdotes from her life, she reflects on core fears and beliefs inside the aversion to responsibility and adulthood, and discusses gentle approaches to examining the invitations inside our existential anxieties. She also shares ap...

You may be familiar with the inner child and the inner adult, but when was the last time you thought about your inner teenager? In today’s episode, we’re exploring what qualities this often-forgotten inner part brings to the table. And, we’re exploring why those of us who grew up trying to embody the “good girl” might have struggled to fully tap into the potential of our inner teenager. The charac...

Studies suggest that about 85% of what we worry about never happens. And yet, for many of us, worrying is a way of life. It is our go-to response when we face uncertainty or perceive a threat to something or someone we care about deeply.  In today’s episode, Sheryl shares personal reflections on her relationship to worry as her eldest son Everest embarks on the hardest challenge he has ever faced....

There are all sorts of blocks that get in the way of us connecting to our creativity, our life force. There’s the inner critic, and then there are the outer critics. There’s perfectionism, and the fear that “it’s all been done before.” There’s the despair of "not enough," and the ache of lacking inspiration. Even after we’ve bushwhacked our way through the thickets of inner resistance to actually...

We are honored to bring you a conversation with Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast .  Stuart founded The OCD Stories podcast in 2015 to improve the lives of those with OCD. He holds a masters degree in psychological therapies from the University of London, Queen Mary and a masters degree in integrative child and adolescent counselling and psychotherapy from the University of Roehampton....