Gathering Gold

Our relationship with screens, digital devices, and online media is complicated. We can gain so much valuable information and connection in a more accessible way, but we can also get sucked into a vortex of information overload, analysis paralysis, social comparison, and doom scrolling.  In today's episode, we discuss using our devices as tools to help us engage more deeply with the world, not as...

In our last episode, we talked about why it can be hard to receive good things. Today, we are discussing the importance of actively adding good things to our lives.  It can be easy to focus on all of the problems, challenges, and hardships we are facing, and to assume that if we could just remove those, then we could experience a greater sense of wellbeing. And while there are certainly times to f...

Today’s episode was requested by one of our lovely Patreon members , who asked us to talk about why it can be hard to receive good things, and how to do so with more ease. In this conversation, we discuss some of the stumbling blocks to the unfettered gratitude that we desire: blocks including guilt, shame, fear, and distrust. And, we discuss how we can orient ourselves towards more receptivity, r...

We continue our deep dive into themes from Sheryl’s new audio collection Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife , with an exploration of the terrifying undertow of panic attacks.  Sheryl shares how panic attacks have grabbed her in the ocean, in elevators, while driving, and at nightfall. She introduces the Greek mythological Pan, and gives us a sneak peek into how she befriended the god of pandemoniu...

Sheryl and Victoria take a pause from exploring themes of Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife , in order to honor the Summer Solstice.  Sheryl explains why it is so important to honor these season portals, and receive their goodness. Sheryl and Victoria reflect on their previous episode about Summer from three years ago, and discuss why Sheryl was so focused on loss, nostalgia, and grief at that ti...

Sheryl has entered a new era in her parenting life: an era of letting go. Today’s episode continues a series exploring themes from Sheryl’s new audiobook, Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife , with a conversation about parenting. As Sheryl’s sons have grown into teenagers, and one has flown the nest (…literally!), Sheryl has welcomed grief, gratitude, and new beginnings.  Offering personal stories...

Today, we're announcing an exciting new offering from Sheryl: a beautiful audiobook entitled Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife, which will be available next month!  In today's episode, we share sneak peeks and talk about the seeds of inspiration for this compendium of dreams, poems, stories, and reflections. We discuss myths about midlife, a major decision that Sheryl faced about the direction of...

Rupture and repair. Rupture and repair. Rupture and repair.  This is the rhythm of all close relationships—even the relationship between Sheryl and Victoria, as we discuss (gingerly, with care) in today’s episode. In any relationship, if we get close enough, we will eventually experience a rupture. We make mistakes, we let each other down, we hurt, and then, with courage, self-awareness, and a fou...

The wild has been banished, pushed to the edges of civilization, pushed to the edges of psyche. Wolves and coyotes, bears and bobcats, rage and sexuality and messiness and imperfection have all been relegated to the outskirts. We long for wildness. We long for freedom and aliveness, creativity and authenticity.  And yet, we might also fear wildness—the way it can control us. The way we can burn ot...

In today’s episode, we hear a very special guest’s story of managing fertility anxiety while trying to conceive for many months. Sarah shares her experience of desperately wanting to get pregnant and deeply fearing it would never happen. Along the way, we discuss finding supportive healthcare providers, learning to navigate sex when trying to conceive, meeting our own or our partner’s ambivalence...

In today's episode, Sheryl reflects on the liminal time between winter and spring, and the way that this season emphasizes a certain truth about life: that joy and grief are intimately, irrevocably connected. That we experience not grief, then joy, not life, then death, but all of it, together, always.  "We think linearly--but maybe, that's not how time, and grief, and memory co-exist. And it's sp...

The spring equinox is a moment of symmetry and balance; the sun sits exactly above the equator, and we experience an equal amount of daylight and darkness. In today’s episode, Sheryl shares her thoughts on the spiritual experience of symmetry, and how fractals in nature convince her that this world is one of not only chaos, but also order—and why that matters so much to highly sensitive people. We...

Today’s episode was inspired by a recent post that Sheryl shared on Instagram about trauma collisions in longterm relationships. In this conversation, we explore what trauma collisions are (and are not), how they differ from arguments, and how we can become more mindful and skillful in responding to them.  Sheryl underscores the role of self-awareness in uncovering the understory of a trauma colli...

You just sat down with a cup of tea and a good book. You’re deeply invested in the plot and sinking into glorious alone time, when suddenly, you hear footsteps. Your partner appears in the room.  “What’s for dinner?” they ask.  Your entire body is instantly flooded with one feeling: irritation.  It’s a feeling that we all have from time to time, including with the people we love most in the world:...

The month of January is named after the Roman god Janus: the god of the doorway. Janus was said to have two faces: one looking ahead, and one looking behind.  We are now in the liminal month of January, moving between two years and looking forward and backward just like Janus. In today's episode, Sheryl encourages us to meet this liminality with curiosity and compassion. Though we may feel off-kil...

In today’s episode, we return gently to sacred ground: the ground of our sexuality.  Last January, we explored what it means to own our sexual sovereignty through reclaiming our right and ability to say no. Today, we begin uncovering our inherent yes, which was likely shamed early in our lives. Sheryl encourages us to gently orient ourselves back towards our innate curiosity, belief in our own goo...

In this special episode, Sheryl's husband Daev Finn joins the show to continue our seasonal exploration of wintry themes. A psychotherapist who uses the metaphor of myth and fairy tales in his work, Daev offers his perspective on the Brothers Grimm telling of "Briar Rose" (otherwise known as "Sleeping Beauty"). Daev, Sheryl, and Victoria read the tale aloud, then share their reflections on themes...

We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark. How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness? How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the nee...

We all know the feeling: jitters before a birthday party. Melting into the wall during a wedding reception. Obsessing over that awkward hug you gave at the potluck. Everyone has their moments of social anxiety, but some of us suffer with it more chronically, perhaps managing a mixture of avoidance and overcompensation. We might worry that we are too quiet or too loud, too boring or too obnoxious—s...

Highly sensitive people bring many gifts to work, and we also face unique challenges—including a persistent longing to bridge the gap between our ideals and the reality of our work life. Whether we are full-time caregivers, lawyers, teachers, baristas, artists, or project managers, we might wonder: am I on the right path? Do I belong in this field? Might the grass be greener somewhere else? We hav...

The witching hour: a time in the middle of the night when we sometimes wake from a potent dream or nightmare, eyes wide in the darkness, heart and body filled with something--fear or grief, regret or restlessness, poems or prayers. In today's episode, we discuss this mysterious portal and how we might find gold glittering in the darkest hours before dawn. References: “Dedicated to the One I Love,”...

In today’s special episode, Sheryl shares her story of navigating a major transition over the past year: ushering her eldest son out of the nest and into college far from home.   Sheryl shares passages from her journal that detail how she rode the waves of grief, reached for support, and found relief after bringing Everest to school and adjusting to home life without him.   And, she and Victoria d...

We hope you enjoy today's "Golden Nugget" mini-episode! We're sharing a voicemail from our lovely listener Olivia, who asked the question that inspired our episode Expectations, Emotions, and Very Big Days . Listen in to hear what happened for Olivia and her partner after she submitted her question, listened to the episode, and sat with the uncertainty of how to approach her wedding day and marria...

Many of us feed our shame with the very food that makes it grow: criticism and cruelty that inspires deeper disconnection and despair. We think that we can control and punish ourselves into perfection, that we can banish our exiled parts into the shadowlands and transcend hurt and vulnerability. And yet, if we take the risk to feed our shame with love, acceptance, and compassion, we will see what’...

Everyone feels shame at one time or another. For some of us, shame is an occasional or even rare experience. It’s an awful feeling, but manageable. For others, shame is a state that we are particularly prone to; our shame gets activated quickly and intensely. We might even walk around in a haze of free-floating shame, inhaling it with the air we breathe.  In today’s episode, Sheryl and Victoria ex...