Fun Box Monster Podcast

Demons 2 is most likely an extended music video for shot for a song from Demons 1, but never used. That's the only way this non-narrative makes a lick of sense. The hero of the story is locked in an elevator until fifteen minutes before the credits roll for god's sake. What are the rules? Why do we care about any of these characters? Why do they live in a bullet-proof, tank proof, high rise? What...

When a Kaiju sized Grizzly goes on a rampage at a Hungarian national park hosting a concert for your dad's drunk friend's band who are you going to call? That's right, John Rhys-Davies as a French Canadian fur trapper turned Native American Poseur. It's all just cobbled together nonsense and clocks in at just over an hour. Both the podcast and the movie. Join Matt and Tristan for Grizzly 2. Or don...

       There's a big octopus attacking people. For a full synopsis see the wikipedia entry for Jaws.        Just kidding. This movie may have a big Fourth of July celebration that a big carnivorous aquatic animal is threatening, and a quixotic cop who is hellbent on stopping it, a mayor who's more concerned with the bottom line than the safety of the citizenry, a bunch of children in peril, and a...

This is not you're daddy's route. Not the "Mother Road" as Route 66 was once known. Certainly not a place to "get your kicks" as songwriter Bobby Troup once wrote in his famous song. This is more the Highway to Hell, as crooned about by famed Australian troubadours, AC/DC. But not the movie Highway to Hell, which is a different movie.  When the aptly named criminal Rabbit flees protective custody...

When frustrated painter George tries to do himself in, he’s brought back from the brink of death by the glowing head of a gangster who was killed by a cabal of meanies who shot and burned him to death over a debt that wouldn’t have paid off the average car loan. The head took this execution poorly and hijacks George and sends him out on a grizzly mission of revenge and stoned museum visits. So get...

When you just barely survive engulfing the world in darkness by summoning a bunch of adorable demons, what's your next step? Doing it again...Duh! Terry, now seemingly cured of his heavy metal interest, is intent on reopening the gate. This time he's ready, as evidenced by his rental P.A., headset mic, and cool purple robe. Sadly some bullies interrupt the ceremony and the only demon that manages...

Model rocket enthusiasts rejoice, for your day has finally come! The Gate is the true story of how the Estes Model Rocket Corporation of America saved the world from a million years of darkness, with a little help from the band Sacrifix.  Our sad kid Glenn is noticing the world pass him by. He's still launching model rockets, while everyone around him is getting in to cool stuff like parties, and...

This is a clever idea. Remake a movie that was already perfect but take away anything enjoyable. That's bold. And that's the Trucks promise.  Trucks takes the explosions, insane, bold, cartoonish characters, high budget set pieces, gore, and incredible AC/DC soundtrack and replaces it with four broken down farm trucks and a gravel pit. Contrary to everything you might expect, this formula fails cr...

When I'm looking to get buff, the first question I ask any potential gym is, "Am I going to have to lift that little key on the machine that changes the weights?" Inevitably these losers tell me I will. I storm off in a huff and swear off exercise forever. But at Starbody Health Spa they've fixed this. All you have to do is carry around a credit card and swipe it in the machine, probably talk to t...

The usual way a filmmaker tends to approach a sequel is to take what was successful about the first movie and amp it up. Alien had one alien, Aliens has a pile of aliens. Right? This concept is turned on its head with Alligator 2, where the Alligator seems to be considerably smaller than an average alligator, and the movie is free from blood or any other exploitation elements.  The plot plays very...

When you check in with the Ghostkeeper, your blues don't stand a...GHOST of a chance! It's a non-stop laugh fest when three wacky snowmobiling funsters crash a cannibal family's secret mountain ski lodge! When the stodgy old cannibal Ghostkeeper tells them that she's closing the cannibal ski-lodge to make room for cannibal condos, those nuts from snowmobile house come up with a plan for a topless...

When an experimental aircraft using time altering technology as a cloaking device crashes into an island resort celebrating New Year's Eve in 1959, the explosion traps the partygoers in a never-ending Groundhog Day style party. We don't see that story though. We see a 1987 group of teens arriving on the island and almost able to see the time-ghosts wandering around. Unsurprisingly these teens get...

Were you too happy this holiday? Well we have a movie for you. Depressing, mean spirited, and not sure if it hates women or men worse. Definitely not a poorly made movie, just really not fun. It does have Clint Howard, so there's that. And FX by Screaming Mad George. That's pretty great.  Anyway, don't blame us, we warned you.   

      Jaws the Revenge is, at its heart, a story about family. Specifically, a family that is going to be eaten by a shark.       Many years after the events of the first movie, Sheriff Brody has died. Of fear. As is the custom on Amity, he passed the job down to his son. Unfortunately, this son has worse luck fighting sharks than his old man, and seconds after encountering our old friend Jaws the...

This film gave me such nostalgia for my childhood in Chicago. I remember my parents would take us kids out to Lou Malnati's Pizza for a bowl of delicious pizza. Of course, we'd have to leave the family dog at home so he wouldn't get dognapped by the hordes of evil pet store owners roaming Chicago's historic streets for animals to sell to corrupt biotech labs.   We'd take a leisurely stroll down th...

This is a story about those horrible unrepentant killers with dangerous powers, but now one of them is a Scanner.  When little Sam is only a lad, he watches his Scanner father have a complete psychotic break and get gunned down by the police. Standard operation procedure kicks in here and the responding officer takes the kid home and raises him as his own. He's such a positive influence that the k...

     In this unofficial, pseudo-sequel to Hell Night we again have a co-ed legion of doofuses locked in a fake haunted house to earn the right to join a fraternal organization. But this time, they remembered that they were making a horror movie, so they added blood, nudity and Brad Dourif, all in enough quantity to more than make up for the previous film.      Also… they had just watched Evil Dead...

Wow. This slasher couldn't have been softer if it was made for the Disney Channel. Made by a porn director and there's no nudity. Made with had the star of the Exorcist but barely had a single effective scare. They even had the star of Rock and Roll High School, and yet I didn't see a single Ramone. The sad part is that if you watched a half-hour reel of the greatest hits of this movie, you'd thin...

Get ready for this summer's hottest new video game! YOU play the role of Satan's Little Helper, an incredibly stupid child who's feigned inability to distinguish fantasy from reality will probably get him off the hook for all the atrocities that he will soon take part in! Rack up the points by killing boyfriends, poisoning BMX ninjas, and marrying your sister! Be sure to look out for the shopping...

Little Jamie has always hated Halloween. No matter how much her adopted family tries to ply her with multiple scooped ice cream, she won't budge on the matter. She's simply too busy with her schoolwork and photo collecting to think about Halloween.  Rachel is seventeen year old about to give up on love. When a surprise visit from Jamie's unconventional uncle sets the family on their toes, he chang...

Stay with me here. There's this mirror, right? It's got a demon in it. The witches of Salem used to use it, but literally all it does is seduce people and ruin their lives. It doesn't explicitly grant wishes, but clearly there's a wishing element. You can't ask it for stuff or bad things happen. You certainly shouldn't have sex with the demon that lives in it. That's a big no-no. Our story begins...

Honestly, any attempt to describe this movie would be pointless. You have to see it. Yes. It is very slow. But, Bill Paxton is in it. Sure, it centers around a bunch of obnoxious rich kids who are also very stupid. Counterpoint: Bill Paxton. It would further be correct to point out that if given any small amount of scrutiny the plot completely falls apart. To that I would say... Bill Paxton. So jo...

Sometimes when you make a funny podcast about schlocky movies, you run across a movie that is...kinda perfect? Maybe the most underrated slasher ever? I mean there's some silly stuff...a guy does pull a hundred pound fish out of the water as part of his wooing of a lady. That was fun. But goddammit, this movie ruled. Sorry I'm so late to the party on this. Join Matt and Tristan as they have very l...

Hail, hail to the college days with the Fun Box Podcast. This week we're talking 1989's Rush Week. When a young journalism student notices co-eds vanishing, she becomes determined to unmask the killer, but long the way, I think she's going to unmask some laughs too. It's a collegiate-who-done-it Mcguffin fest from start to finish, but things get complicated when she falls for the WORST PERSON IN T...

You ever have one of those dreams where you're at Cheerleader Camp wearing an alligator mascot costume and people are getting murdered all around you? Plus, for some reason seventies teen sensation Leif Garret is there? And that big guy from Roadhouse is filming everyone and committing crimes that everyone just finds charming? Yeah. I think I ate some bad clams. Anyway,  join Matt and Tristan as t...