Fun Box Monster Podcast

"In The Netherlands, no one can hear you scream!" 

This might be the weirdest movie I have ever seen. If you are the President of Movies, please make us a fancy BluRay with multiple documentaries on the making of this movie. I will be forever grateful. Trying to describe it here will not do it justice. Watch this movie. 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the pumpkin patch, and run over a witch with your car...

On today's Fun Box Monster Podcast, Matt and Tristan talk about 1988's gritty reboot of It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Pumpkinhead. 

Although this movie tends to conflate "time" and "movie parodies" there's some things to enjoy about this mess. I'm pretty sure that the plot is that they need to get a zombie hand back from a time when zombies were real, and bring it to court so that Sara won't get the chair for the 201 deaths she is on the hook for from burning down the Wax Museum from the first movie. (Mark of course is beyond...

Wax museums are catnip for teens. Everyone knows that. So when one appears from out of nowhere in the middle of a very rich suburban neighborhood, the only question on anyone's mind is, "How soon can we get in there and look at the wax dummies?" That's when David Warner appears, dressed as Willy Wonka-by-way-of-rodeo-clown, and invites you to that classic teen gathering, the midnight wax museum pa...

When some adult children set fire to their summer camp's incredibly flammable caretaker,  he emerges several years later covered in burns over 100% of his body, and filled with a lust for revenge and a penchant for scissor type weapons. Join Matt and Tristan for the Meatballs of slasher films, The Burning. 

Not one scene of Farmer Vincent making his eponymous fritters. Ruined the experience for me. 1 out of 5 stars. 

Jurassic Park really screwed up when they chose to use CGI instead of hand puppets. Luckily Carnosaur was there to remedy that mistake. I'd go out on a limb and say that this is the best puppet based movie about Diane Ladd creating a virus that impregnates women with dinosaur eggs. Join Matt and Tristan for a movie that redefined what could be done with forced perspective rubber dinosaurs for an e...

I'm really sorry about this episode. I think Matt and I were going through something. Critters Attack is a made-for-TV movie, and didn't deserve how badly we screamed about it. This is literally the most negative episode of the podcast and if you want to skip it nobody will blame you. Apologies to anyone involved in this movie, I'm sure you are fine people except that one guy, but I promised Matt...

Everybody knows that once your horror franchise starts to lose steam you head to space. Pinhead in Space, Leprechaun In Space, Regan from the Exorcist in Space,  Damien From the Omen in Space, The Wickerman in Space, and of course Suspiria in Space or Spacespiria.   For this entry in the franchise, it is possible there was a small influence from Aliens, in that the script was entirely lifted from...

As the Critters franchise begins to succumb to budget cuts, we find them scraping the bottom of the barrel for actors and winding up with talentless nobodies like Leonardo what's-his-name. But the human actors aren't who we're here to see, we're all here for our favorite fuzzy murder-puppets the Crites, back again for more comestible chaos. Also, this time their arms work! Join Matt and Tristan fo...

Those pesky Crites are back, and this time they have a bigger FX budget, but not quite enough money for Dee Wallace. Still somehow probably the best installment of the franchise, which of course, is the greatest film franchise in history. Better even than the Munchie expanded universe, or Munchiverse to its legions of fans. 

Gotta catch em all!

You'd think there would have to be a better way to see hot guys in their underpants in this day and age, but there isn't, so we were forced to watch Dreamaniac for our yearly allotment of hot guys in underpants posing like Morrissey. Join us for the worst delivery vehicle for fully waxed dudes available on sub-par DVD, Dreamaniac. 

The Howling pitches a far-fetched world where most people are angry feral monsters just out for themselves. Crazy right? But some of them have fur. Basically, it's like Anthrocon right before lunch time.  Join Matt, Tristan and a group of unemployed Roger Corman actors for 1981's most inexplicably revered film, The Howling. 

If your hope for the movie the Mangler is to see some horrifying Manglings, I think you're going to be pretty pleased. If you want a story that makes sense...maybe less so. Join Matt and Tristan in the speed folder for 1995's The Mangler. 

Now it looks to me like them Bradley boys done got themselves mixed up in a whole mess o' trouble out there yonder by the crick, so Granny and Susan had to peel out the old Secretary of the Treasury Hamilton (That was my best NYC version of the General Lee) and bust them boys out.  Join Matt and Tristan for the down home helpin' of possum grits you city folks call, Basket Case 2. 

WHOOO!!!! It's Spring Break!!! We're taking a brief respite from blood and guts, to enjoy a beach vacation with a movie that has both visuals and sound. It features actors and people both shooting and editing film to create a narrative of sorts. Oh...Just as an afterthought, and strictly in the most tasteful and artistic of settings, there's boobs. Join Matt and Tristan as they decide if they are...

In this episode, Tristan confuses the term Sound Stage and Back Lot, and misidentifies a real town as a sound stage. And that's in the first five minutes!

I didn't do much research, but I assume this is some sort of prequel to City Slickers 2, only instead of searching for Curly's gold, it's four colorful serial killers going on a murder spree during a blackout. No wait...I think the prequel to City Slickers 2 was City Slickers 1. But if part 1 is a prequel why did they release it first? Man. I'm reporting that one to the IMDB goofs section. 

Please believe me. We are not hateful people. We love movies. We love horror movies and Larry Cohen. But....this movie is so awful. If this is your first episode...maybe consider another one? We are super negative in this one. But have you seen it? We talk about this movie and I guess I'm sorry? Maybe there's some funny bits that make it worth listening to? I really don't know. 

Everything I know about parenting I learned from the It's Alive series. Babies are cannibalistic monsters with huge rubber heads and when they get to be too much responsibility you should dump them on a tropical island. Also, they explode when introduced to helicopters. Join Matt and Tristan for an hour or so of sun, sand and seriously giant mutant babies on The Island of The Alive!

You wanted the bugs, you got the bugs! Bugs, bugs, bugs. If you were looking for a 1980's version of a 1950's Corman movie that feels like an inexplicably lower budget rip-off of Slugs, look no further. On today's episode, Matt and Tristan talk about the bugliest movie of 1988, The Nest. 

As one might expect from a movie about a Pet Cemetery, there's going to be some talk of dead animals. So be warned. Also, being a movie with Eddie Furlong, there's some discussion of Eddie Furlong. So, just be aware of that too.