From One Caregiver to Another

What is emotional labor? And why does it matter to you and the way you approach your responsibilities as a family caregiver, sandwich family caregiver, or parent? Once you understand what emotional labor is, you can become more intentional about sharing the load, instead of doing it all yourself. Read the full transcript: https://facilitatoronfire.net/episode61/ Find the free Boundaries Community...

What is a limiting belief, anyway, and why does it matter to every human being? It’s especially important to understand if you want to make a change in your life, but then you feel terrible every time you think about changing anything. In this episode, host Kay Coughlin explains what a limiting belief is, how to see them showing up in your life, and how to process them so you can decide what you w...

Join Kay Coughlin as she shares 10 new thoughts for family caregivers, sandwich family caregivers and parents to think. Why do we all need this? Well, we hear way too may old stories about living small, negative, limited and painful lives. What we need to hear instead is a set of new messages to encourage us and remind us that we don't have to live life the "old" way. Get the PDF of the 10 thought...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about how to break the cycle of loneliness and isolation. Because Kay is seeing that loneliness is slowly breaking way too many of us. As always, if you prefer to read, the full transcript is available on the show page here : https://facilitatoronfire.net/episode58. Find the free boundaries community here: https://facilitatoronfire.net/boundaries/ Other episodes...

Should you become a family caregiver? That’s what Kay Coughlin discusses in this episode. Kay gives the ten questions that she asked herself before she decided to become a caregiver. Whether you are a caregiver already or not, these questions can help you get un-stuck, and get the help you need immediately. Get the ten questions and join the free boundaries community here : https://facilitatoronfi...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about what real self-care looks like and discusses 10 true self-care actions. These will work for all humans. Whether you like bubble baths or not.  Join free Boundaries community here : https://facilitatoronfire.net/boundaries/ Full transcript of episode can be read here : https://facilitatoronfire.net/episode56 Find the "between stimulus and response" gra...

The term "toxic positivity" has been heard more often in pop culture lately. But what if positivity can't be toxic? What if the problem is forced positivity - and even forced gratitude? Kay Coughlin explores why this idea can actually make positivity hurtful, and how to break the cycle of forced positivity. Find the boundaries community (free) here https://facilitatoronfire.net/boundaries/ Books m...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about the year that has gone by since she wrote “From One Caregiver to Another - Overcoming Your Emotional Grind.” If you are suffering at all from the way guilt controls your life, or if you feel like you don't have any choice about what your life looks like as a person who has caregiver responsibilities, you will definitely want to listen to this!  Read t...

This is the audio recording of message six in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. In this message, Kay talks about why the idea of boundaries can strike so much fear in our hearts, and she busts some of the most common myths about boundaries. The other episodes of the podcast Kay references in this message are 40, 49 and 50. To leave a comment or read the messages,...

If you’ve ever had to live or work with somebody who is constantly stirring up drama, you know how exhausting it can be. How do you manage to stop the drama so it doesn’t control you? That’s what this podcast episode is all about. Register for the “Boundaries & Holidays” workshop here . https://facilitatoronfire.net/boundaries/ Get Kay Coughlin’s book, “From One Caregiver to Another - Overcomi...

This is audio version of message five in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. This message is about learning to recognize when you might need to set a boundary to reduce your overwhelm. To leave a comment of read the messages, go here : http://facilitatoronfire.net/stopoverwhelm/ Register for "Boundaries & Holidays" workshop here : http://facilitatoronfire.net/b...

This is the audio version of message four in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. This message is about deciding what you want to do instead of continuing to feed your overwhelm. To leave a comment or read the message series, sign up to receive encouraging messages about boundaries and overwhelm, or to email Kay, go here (http://facilitatoronfire.net/stopoverwhelm/)...

This is the audio version of message three in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. This message is about skill #2, which is to get curious. To leave a comment or read the message series, sign up to receive encouraging messages about boundaries and overwhelm, or to email Kay, go here ( http://facilitatoronfire.net/stopoverwhelm ). Register for "Boundaries & Holid...

This is the audio version of message two in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. This message is about skill #1, which is to choose just one thing to focus on. To leave a comment or read the message series, sign up to receive encouraging messages about boundaries and overwhelm, or to email Kay, go here ( http://facilitatoronfire.net/stopoverwhelm ). Register for "Bo...

This is the audio version of message one in Kay Coughlin's 6-email "Stop the Overwhelm - Set Boundaries" series. To leave a comment or read the message series, sign up to receive encouraging messages about boundaries and overwhelm, or to email Kay, go here (http://facilitatoronfire.net/stopoverwhelm).

In this episode, Kay Coughlin confesses to being an overfunctioner, and explains what overfunctioning is and when it might be a problem for caregivers. Importantly, when a caregiver overfunctions for a care receiver, it might be keeping both people in that relationship from improving their own health and well-being.  Full transcript available here (https://facilitatoronfire.net/episode52/)&nb...

Kay Coughlin's "Boundaries and Holidays" workshop starts Tuesday, October 19! How do you know this 4-week online workshop might be right for you? If you are struggling with feelings of dread or resentment about any upcoming traditions (like Thanskgiving) or celebrations (like an invitation to a destination wedding), or if you feel forced to participate in family events, this workshop will help you...

If you are raising kids and caring for an adult at the same time, you’re what’s known as a “sandwich family caregiver.” In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about her personal experience being a sandwich family caregiver. She describes the range of life experiences (like having to deal with piles of unsolicited advice) that are common to sandwich family caregivers and that make this group unique.&n...

50. In this episode, Kay Coughlin gets right to heart of one of the most important reasons we don’t like to set boundaries: guilt. Is it possible to stop the cycle of guilt so that it doesn’t control your life and hold you back any more? Yes, it is. Also listen to part one on boundaries and guilt (episode 49) to learn about the critical difference between guilt and shame, and to learn why it actua...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin starts to tackle the tough and sensitive topic of why we feel so guilty when we set boundaries. Listen to this episode (49) to learn about the critical difference between guilt and shame, and to learn why we have a misconception that telling people about our boundaries is not polite. In the next episode (50) Kay will talk directly about how to handle the guilt that is...

People with all kinds of caregiver responsibilities are invited to join the new free community to talk about boundaries! Why do personal boundaries matter? Well, when you can learn how to tell people what's OK and what's not OK with you, you will have a real chance to live a life that makes you happy. And yes, everyone has a right to have their own boundaries. Even YOU. The link to join is at Faci...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about some of the most common experiences of being a post-caregiver. What is a post-caregiver exactly? It’s the last of the four stages of being a caregiver. This is the stage that you enter when your family caregiver duties end, whether it’s by choice or because the person you were caring for gets better or passes away. Full transcript of episode is here (Facil...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about what it’s really like to be in the long-term stage of caregiver responsibilities. If you’ve been taking care of someone for any length of time and especially if you are feeling exhausted or burned out, this will be a great episode for you, because Kay gives a list of seven specific action steps you can take right now to improve your own life. Full transcri...

If you have ever been a caregiver in a short-term or acute situation - and certainly if that’s your situation right now - this episode is for you. While it’s typical to think mostly about the needs of the care receiver in an acute situation, you as the caregiver are in it too, whether or not other people are keeping you top of mind. In this episode, I talk about why this stage of being a caregiver...

In this episode, Kay Coughlin talks about what it’s like to be an early-stage caregiver, including her own experiences with her family. Kay has identified four stages of caregiver responsibilities - early-stage, short-term or acute, long-term or more stable and post-caregiver - and has recorded an episode about the caregiver experience in each stage. Over the next four weeks, you can listen to whi...