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Why do science projects exist? I think it's really strange that, once a year, teachers are allowed to assign homework to our parents. Who made this rule? Why do they get to make our parents slap together a project at the last minute and then pretend that we did it? I guess there are some mysteries that aren't meant to be solved.

Why watch a movie when you can just look at a movie poster? Do you have an answer for that? Didn't think so.

Ever watched a Hallmark Christmas movie? ...why?

This episode has nothing to do with Highlander, although that is a mistake on my part. I'm sure it would have been a far more awesome episode if it was about Highlander, but it's not. That's my fault, and I'm owning it. We just have to collect ourselves and move on. Why don't we try to just enjoy whatever this week's episode actually IS about? I'm sure it's good. Well, I'm sure it's fine. Probably...

I could have easily called this episode "What's the Deal with FLAP?", but that's a lazy Seinfeld impression, and I want nothing to do with it. This week, we do a truly astounding job at creating Seinfeld episode premises in a quiz, of sorts, that Ben runs for us. Either we're incredibly good at it, or it's incredibly easy. I'm genuinely not sure which it is.

Cory found some junk online, and we don't know who it's for. Wait a minute - that was already in the title! I did it! The title described what the episode was about! Start playing Yub Nub!!!

World Cup of what, you may ask? Well, not that it matters (and it doesn't), but we are organizing the world championship of Domestic Item Toss. Throwing a thing into another thing. Everyone does it; who's the best? Does anyone care? Shut up!

We've solved Thanksgiving. Just FYI, it's solved now. The solution was sitting right in front of us the whole time. Thanksgiving is about doing the same thing you normally do, but you do it to ridiculous excess. In this episode, we solve Thanksgiving by doing it to ridiculous excess. It's pretty straightforward.

So Ben recently found* some VHS tapes* at a local thrift store*, and they turned out to be a treasure trove* of accidental Mexican silliness* the likes of which you cannot believe. I didn't put an asterisk on that last part because it's actually true.

People apparently flock to Reddit to explain the situations in their lives that make them wonder, "Am I the asshole?" It turns out all of these people either ARE the asshole, or they're enabling the asshole to such an unbelievable degree that, for all intents and purposes, they, too, are also the asshole. So the answer is yes. Yes, you are.

Sometimes the people who come up with ads don't know what they're doing. It is then that we, your podcast hosts, step in to make fun of them. Coming up with ideas for advertisements isn't as easy as they make it seem on Mad Men. Hey, that name sounds like "Ad Men", which is what they were! How do you like that?

Remember disco? It was incredibly popular at one time. Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? So what happened to it, you ask? The Chicago White Sox done blew it up.

Neither the people reading this description, nor the man writing it, truly have a grasp on how far away from nature our civilization is. Not one of us. Many of us, however, DO understand that we don't understand it. The few who don't get it think they can just go to an island and create a civilization. Living in actual civilization is easy; how hard could it be to make one by myself with no knowle...

A FOURTH hundo? Seriously?! What the hell, guys. Look, the first hundo was a blast. Everyone loved it. The second hundo was unexpected, but we kept it interesting. A gentleman would have stopped there, though. The third hundo was almost a commentary on that fact. Like, hey look, we've done yet another hundo! We know it's rude, get it? That's the point! It worked, in a sort of self-referential way....

Everyone is interested in something embarrassing, and for many people, that thing is disc golf. Now, the fact that everyone has something like this SHOULD make us more accepting of each other, and prevent us from making fun of these things. It should, but it doesn't. Anyway, this week's episode is about disc golf.

Are we playing "Produce, Marry, Kill" again? Yes. Did I add some new rules this time? Yes. Are the rules needlessly complicated? Yes. Did I describe the rules incorrectly during the episode, then edit that part out? Yes. Did I do a bad job of running this dumb game? Yes. Are there still funny things to be heard? Yes.

I'm going to repeat the title: All bands should have wizards. Wizards, really, should be added to everything. What could they possibly NOT improve? This is relevant because we watched a movie called Stunt Rock that heavily features the band Sorcery, which employed not just one but TWO wizards. That is why they are universally acknowledged as the greatest band of all time.

If you have any familiarity with the Insane Clown Posse, it probably relates to the universally yearned-for answer to the greatest question of our age: Fuckin' magnets, how do they work? It should not surprise you in the least to learn that we do not answer that question in this week's episode. That question is unanswerable. We do answer some others, though, and to see if we answer something usefu...

Every single successful thing (and many unsuccessful things) will inspire rip-offs. Since the dawn of time, there have been people copying other people's ideas, but pretending they're brand new creations. Even the Olympics have apparently inspired a rip-off event, which is what we discuss this week. I wonder if in ancient Gaul they created their own ripoff of the ancient Greek Olympics? I just ans...

To traverse the landscape, learn to read the signs and signals. The landscape, in this case, is the city, and the signs and signals are the various things you hear and smell in the city. Especially the things you smell. And basically all of them are bad.

Can you believe it? It's the return of silly pitches! If you listened to my brothers make fun of me a few episodes ago, I bet you can believe it. Did it turn out to be a bad idea, just like they said? You'll have to listen to find out! But yes, it did.

Ben went with another rambler this time. Big shot, thinks he's so great, Mr. Doesn't-Have-To-Come-Up-With-A-Topic, ooh, look at me, I'm Ben, I can just show up and start talking. Some bullshit, right there.

Today we watch an entire 90-minute movie in 10 short minutes. How do we do that? By skipping all of the inessential parts. How do we know which parts are inessential? All 90 minutes of this movie were inessential, so it really doesn't matter what we watched or what we skipped.

Matt just has too damn many cold opens happen to him. Basically nothing ever happens to me, so I have no cold opens to share. Stuff is constantly happening to this guy Matt, though. Sharing these happenings once per week is just not enough, and it's piling up. He's in danger of a cave-in at this point, so he's got to spend a week to let them all loose.

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