Football Ranter

⚠️ Warning: This episode is a football rant at maximum volume. It contains impatience, contempt for grifters, timeline merchants, and lads baiting OnlyFans models for engagement like it’s a career path. If you trust Football Twitter, buy what influencers are selling, think bad takes deserve airtime, or believe replying “DM?” counts as discourse you are beyond help. Godspeed. In this week’s carnage...

⚠️ Warning: This episode contains industrial-grade ranting, weaponised opinions, and a Jonathan-Morley-shaped, ginger-nut-sack energy individual who treats the internet like a public inquiry into his feelings. If you believe football discourse should be calm, balanced, or useful — turn back now. There is no hope for you. In this week’s carnage: 🧠 Chapo attempts rational thought and immediately ab...

⚠️ Warning:  A boiler, a vape, and a Bundesliga highlight reel walk into a pub and somehow Arsenal still bottle it. Between VAR smoke, Klopp worship, and a tiny German midfielder giving everyone an existential crisis, the Tun hits new levels of combustible nonsense. In this week’s carnage: 💨 Chapo hallucinates from boiler vapours and declares himself head of UEFA Comms 🔴 Arsenal praise...

⚠️ Warning: The Buttock Derby delivered everything the FA handbook explicitly forbids fake kits, flying handbags, and a referee who pulled his hamstring halfway through booking a man with extra toes. In this week’s carnage: 🥴 Irish Ken’s “Real Madrid” shirts disintegrate before kick-off ⚽ Meoff actually plays football, then immediately regrets it 🦶 Six-Toes Derek scores, two-foots, and re-enact...

⚠️ Warning: Chapo’s back from COVID, Bomb’s been on the Staropramen, and somehow Paris, beer maths, and Jesus’ biscuit knees all make sense after ten minutes. Expect lager-fuelled logic, Essex League nostalgia, and more theology than Sky Sports could stomach. In this week’s carnage: 🍺 Bomb swears he out-scored Gabriel Jesus “in the Essex Sunday League, mate” 💶 Chapo breaks down Paris pint econom...

⚠️ Warning : Bomb still thinks bar staff are brain-dead chimps, Chapo’s been banned again , and somehow we’ve acquired both a DJ and a bloody vicar. There’s also a stag do, bad football takes, and enough chaos to pickle your nan. In this week’s carnage: 🍷 Bomb wants a pint but calls the bar crew thick as pig shit 🛵 Chapo now “does weddings” (yeah, imagine that with his mouth) ⌨️ Chapo gets clatt...

⚠️ Warning: Bomb loses his rag with Chapo (again), we rinse Man U, Lee Gunner’s still Lee Gunner, and the mighty Grimsby get their due. In this week’s carnage: 🍷 Bomb’s patience snaps during Chapo’s latest life-fail antics 🛵 Chapo goes full rant mode at Lee “Skinny Harry Potter” Gunner ⌨️ Keyboard warriors pile on a 16-year-old (we’re not having it) 🤣 A 22-penalty shootout gets the Ranter Lads...

⚠️ Warning: Today’s sound quality is ropey. Not our fault, not our problem. We’ll fix it next time but let’s be real, you lot aren’t paying a penny for this anyway. In today’s episode: 🍷 Bomb Taunts Chapo neck-deep in a tragic Chinese takeaway that looks like it came out the bin 🛵 Chapo gets mugged off by a hotel over his food extreme begging vibes from him, zero dignity 📅 A keyboard war: Dickh...

In today’s episode: 🍷 Bomb develops a taste for bargain-bin Co-op wine 🛵 Chapo’s mouth could power a swear jar economy 📅 Social media you lot are officially a bunch of scammers 🤣 Sheffield Scots and Spurs fans… brace yourselves for that combo 💸 We try to work out why everyone’s suddenly flashing the cash and buying stuff ⚽ And yes we talk football, because of course we do So grab a drink, sl...

In today’s episode: 🍺 Bomb necks cider like it's a sport 🏍️ We argue (loudly) about whether riding or driving a Harley is correct 🎉 We throw down the gauntlet to social media " you lot are planning Chapo’s stag do" 🧠 We get real about mental health 😂 We absolutely rinse Sheffield (again) 🕊️ We attempt to solve world peace (obviously) ⚽ And yes, we chat football because we’re not animals So cr...

A-Bomb laments his limp tifo experience and longs for the return of Graham Souness armed with a shotgun. Meanwhile, Chappo discovers that Patricia is actually Karen, and learns that to truly understand England, you must first infiltrate a rural Facebook group. We dive deep into the mysteries of Hawaii, where eggs are priceless and Sarah the Egg Lady allegedly gives her chickens foot rubs. Yes, rea...

In today’s episode: A-Bomb comes clean about sneaking two young lads into the pub (allegedly for educational purposes). Chapo wrestles with his inner demons and admits—brace yourself—he kinda likes Manchester. Both lads shed a tear for poor UTDtrey, who just can't catch a break. Meanwhile, Elon Musk has big plans for X, involving… grannies? Elsewhere, Sheffield continues its reign as the UK’s prem...

Just a quick update on the greedy Glazers and Ratcliffe, that scruffy bastard. Honestly, it’s a mess. The Glazers are still lining their pockets at the expense of the club, while Ratcliffe is playing his usual games, acting like he’s a savior while probably just out for the next big payday. What a circus. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today's show, we take a grown-up look at the state of Manchester United's finances —diving beyond the headlines to unpack the numbers, the challenges, and what it all means for the club's future. Are we about to see a change for the good? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's show kicks off with a brief introduction to Manchester United's financial announcement—while A-Bomb is busy sunning his arse in the Mediterranean, and once again, Chapo is dishing out his infamous 'hawk and tun' update straight from a police car park. It's bound to be a right laugh unless you are the person with the chair to your head. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inform...

In today's show, The team dove into the ultimate debate: which Australian native animal would we take on in a brawl? A-Bomb was all in, insisting he'd swing a hammer at a funnel-web spider without batting an eye, while El-Chapo was dead set on toe-punting a wombat into submission. The hilarity didn’t stop there—our discussion veered off into the wild world of “Erling Haalans and his Glory-Hunting...

On today's show, we dive into some truly thought-provoking (and slightly absurd) topics: the pros and cons of linesmen carrying guns—because why not spice up those offside debates? We ask the pressing question: why did Lee Gunner really move to Spain? We also explore goalkeepers with unique names like "Kinky" (yes, that’s a real thing), and ponder whether council sports facilities should be conver...

In today’s episode, we say a heartfelt thank you, champion women’s rights and equality, and dive into the pressing issue of the nation’s staggering scone consumption. We also dish out nominations for the greatest people of 2024, alongside the not-so-coveted title of Biggest C%*T of the Year. Naturally, we’ll touch on Elon—future President of Planet Earth—and round things off with Chapo’s top tips...

In today’s show, we’re discussing a topic very close to our hearts: Men’s Mental Health Week . If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always there—call them in the UK at 116 123 or visit samaritans.org . And remember, you can always reach out to us too. Let’s keep the conversation going. On a lighter note, we tackle the big questions: Should a used condom really be grounds to cancel a...

In today’s episode, we dive into why Mancunians are suddenly considered Germans instead of their usual "bin dipper" label. Meanwhile, Chapo manages to get himself arrested (again), and Bomb discovers that referees can throw around all sorts of insults, including calling players C$%ts, without anyone batting an eye. Over in Hampshire, Southampton defenders are busy racking up red cards, which feels...

Just a heads-up, everyone—we've finally cracked the code on our editing platform, so brace yourselves for a flood of content on your timelines. Yes, we’re thrilled to have stumbled upon a winning formula (after only about a hundred attempts) that we can totally build on. And no, I’m not expecting anyone from Sheffield to get excited or even have the capcity to read, since we all know it’s basicall...

This Week A-Bomb and El-Chapo discuss a plethora of football related topics including , Chelsea , Arsenal , San Marino and a special mention to our new favourite team the Hawk & Tun , Like , Subscribe , Share and get involved , Cheers people Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here we go! We're back and ranting to go for our 1st show on transfer deadline day—we have players out, players in from the crew, and the of course the chaos is in full swing! Roadman’s still checking in on you to make sure your ok, while Chapo's still got that burning hatred for Sheffield and Bomb is still trying to keep things in check. Join us as we dive into the wild ramblings of the crew and...

We are back!!!The boys are tackling the football world and bringing it down a peg or two. Headbutting Serie A managers, annoying Onlyfans "football fans" and a roundup of all that is good and bad! Happy Rants! Send your ⚽ rants 07856506029 https://chat.whatsapp.com/LekE7tNnNeJJxBkad shouter@footballranter.com abomb@footballranter.com elchapsticko@footballranter.com drq@footballranter.com instagra...

We deeply apologise for the lack of content as recent issues with the Podcasting platform have led to the loss of many of our classic Rants. Upon further investigation, we discovered that the platform is hosted in Sheffield at a facility associated with Scientology. Make of that what you will. Rest assured, we will be back very soon with new content. Once again, we apologise for the delay. As alwa...