Football Ramble

Juventus have got their points back - for now - but are they good enough on the pitch to make it count? Nicky’s not convinced but she does suggest Inter's Simone Inzaghi COULD be the next Carlo Ancelotti. Today Dotun, Andy and Nicky look to Italy and the ongoing race for Europe, they hear from a listener that took Andy’s advice and saw Jose Mourinho’s Roma play in the flesh. We also ask: Can Dortm...

Andy, Pete and a mildly miffed Jim dial in after The Big One™, where Erling n’ co let their hair down as Man City continue to reel Arsenal in. We shrug at this grim Premier League inevitability before turning to more unexpected and joyous matters: Nottingham Forest won a game! Frank Lampard lost another one, but never mind that… Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us...

The youngest person gets the job - that’s Daniel Levy’s new motto, apparently! Pete’s in the hot seat today and he’s joined by Luke and Jim to once again try and make sense of Tottenham’s recruitment strategy. They also enjoy the fact that Jamie Vardy hasn’t forgotten how to be Jamie Vardy despite not scoring in six months, before torturing Jim with a preview of tonight’s huge clash between Arsena...

Premier League title races have given us some great moments over the years, but few have reverberated through history quite as much as this one. Steven Gerrard had uttered the words - just a week before - “lads, we don’t let this slip”. And yet, on one fine day at Anfield in April 2014, it quite literally did. And who was the villain behind it all? Jose Mourinho, of course. Join Marcus, Andy, Jim...

Parachute Harry Redknapp in there. If this is the answer, what is the question? Marcus, Luke and Vish react to an astonishing 20 minutes at St James’ Park which showed, contrary to our views on Friday, that Spurs fans evidently haven’t suffered enough just yet. Plus, we pour one out for our favs Solly March and Brighton after FA Cup heartbreak, Vish opens hostilities with Australia and we offer ou...

Concerning news: Marcus’ Harry Maguire merch is rapidly decreasing in value. Marcus, Luke and Andy look back on a chaotic night in Spain, as Manchester United get pressed like some fresh Seville oranges. We also wonder whether Sean Bean will be in the crowd at Wembley, whether Diego Costa will do the decent thing and sacrifice himself to some crocodiles, and just how more bad news Spurs fans can t...

See you at the San Siro! Dotun and Andy are joined by Jonathan Johnson to wonder what’s in store in the last four of the Champions League. We discuss who will have the edge in Milan and which of the rivals is best-equipped to go all the way – plus, we explain why Pep Guardiola is slowly turning into Carlo Ancelotti. Jonathan also gives the latest on the racism allegations facing PSG’s coach, Chris...

In separate games, sadly. But damn it all Marcus, Jim and Andy are here and armed with all the best bits from last night’s action nonetheless – from Man City and Inter’s progression in the Champions League, to a lil bit of Championship spice! Featuring goalscoring goalkeepers, a very stubborn football curse, and more outrageously outdated references. Plus, Jim offers his theory that Tuchel is just...

After Chelsea at last bowed out of the Champions League last night, Marcus, Andy and Luke are left scratching their heads over Frank Lampard’s lineup and… quite a lot of things really.  Including: is the club in SUCH a bad way that an old Blockbuster cardboard cutout of Jean-Claude Van Damme would be pretty much as able a manager as a sentient Luis Enrique? Stay tuned. Tweet us @ FootballRamb...

What’s that? The Grim Reaper in the front row of Goodison Park? That can only mean one thing… This Saturday will mark 9 years since David Moyes was sacked – not just as Manchester United boss, but as Sir Alex Ferguson’s not-so-carefully anointed successor. Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish look back on a truly sensational 9 months in charge! Let us know what you thought of today’s Guide on Twitter @ Foot...

Peter’s here! And he’s actually meant to be! On the downside, he’s developed an addiction to shoplifting. He joins Marcus, Vish and Jim to look back on a weekend of some brilliant performances and quite delicious capitulations. Have Arsenal blown the title? Is Christian Stellini just Conte, but sh***er? And what did Todd Boehly get up to for an hour with the Chelsea players on Saturday? Tweet us @...

This season, Manchester City’s project might be about to reach its final chapter: lifting the Champions League. Andy headed up to Manchester on Tuesday night for City's clash with Bayern Munich, where he discusses a night of contradictions and Bayern fans’ remarkable protest against City’s ownership during the game with Miguel Delaney. Where should Andy head to next? Tweet us @FootballRamble and e...

Last night’s Europa League debacle leaves us asking: can Harry Maguire be to blame for the size of his head? Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim have your weekend preview covered as they also reflect on who has the most beautiful eyes in football (you’ll be surprised), one of Nottingham Forest’s worst ideas yet for a replacement for Steve Cooper, and we figure out how much money we could make through OnlyF...

It’s first blood in the Champions League quarter-finals! Nicky Bandini joins Dotun and Andy from Milan with the sound of a packed San Siro still ringing in her ears! We pull apart a fascinating all-Italian clash that left us wondering whether this all-action Napoli team are a little too dependent on one missing action man in particular. After a bruising night in Manchester (pun intended), we also...

And so did Todd Boehly, who predicted a 3-0 Chelsea win. Because of course he did. Marcus, Pete and Andy react to Chelsea’s tricky night at the Bernabéu, where even Pete’s most ardent Frank Lampard fandom cannot hide the fact that they simply can’t score for love nor money – nor even one of Ancelotti’s cigars. We also start our campaign for Dele Alli to be Real Madrid’s next manager and we check i...

As well as every cultural reference point from the year 1996, Marcus and Luke are here to react to Man City’s statement victory over Tommy Tuchel’s Bayern! We discuss Jack Grealish’s maturity on the big stage, Stuart Pearce’s suspicious comments about Swiss bank accounts, and Dean Smith’s hire as Leicester gaffer! Plus, who would you rather be stuck in a lift with: Gary Cotterill or James Corden....

For most clubs in the Premier League, eight matches remain this season. And those at the bottom - this campaign more than ever - have made their final roll of the dice. In the spring of 2009, Mike Ashley played what he thought was his trump card to keep Newcastle in the top-flight: Alan Shearer. He didn’t have any coaching badges. He had never managed any team. But he loved the club. Surely that w...

Anfield was rockin’, Granit Xhaka was kickin’, and the assistant ref was elbowin’! Marcus, Pete, Vish and an emotionally shrivelled Jim look back on one of the spiciest games of the season. But first, we’ve got to edit Roy Keane into a Justin Bieber song. Elsewhere, Ray Lewington has a concerning lack of leg on show, Roberto De Zerbi shows us why he’s our favourite manager in the league, and we le...

It’s a HUGE pod debut for… Sammy Ameobi the dog! In other news, Franky Lampard’s back! But is it all a bit… cruel? Marcus, Andy, Jim, Pete and Sammy are asking that, plus we go to South America where there’s a new Guy Goma and there’s HUGE news from Forest! They’ve not sacked Steve Cooper. I repeat, they’ve not sacked Steve Cooper. Tweet us @ FootballRamble and email us here:  show@footballra...

What Lionel Messi wants and what PSG want are no longer compatible. But where does this season’s World Cup-winning captain head to next? It really could be the beaches of Miami… Dotun, Andy and Miguel give you the inside track and ponder on whether the Messi experiment in Paris has worked at all – for either party.  Plus, we discuss José Mourinho’s realistic future and after reaching the fina...

Some said we shouldn’t bother with this episode of Reacts. But if we don’t investigate just how close Chelsea are to hiring Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson or Duncan Ferguson as their new manager, then who will?  Marcus and Vish hear your takes on one of the worst games of the season at Stamford Bridge, which left both teams with some incredibly harsh truths. Elsewhere, Marcus reveals his plans to...

Where were you on the night of April 3rd 1996? Jim doesn’t remember, which is all very suspicious. Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete look back at arguably THE most legendary Premier League clash ever, which simply had it all. A terrible 90s pitch. Brilliant attacking football. And the Premier League title on the line. We find out all about it, discover what Marcus gets up to in the pub and stumble across...

Third spot was in their grasp, but Spurs let it slip! To ten-man Everton. And then got a man sent off themselves. Oh dear. Marcus and Luke react to a shaky start to the post-Antonio Conte era and just another day at the office for Michael Roberto Carlos Keane. Elsewhere, there’s a Fabio Paratici update after he valiantly (and temporarily) falls on his sword while Leicester barely wait until Brenda...

Chelsea’s board reportedly ‘admire’ Julian Nagelsmann. We here at the Ramble admire José Mourinho for the job.  Jules, Jim and Luke react to a dramatic Sunday that saw Potter and Brother Brendy get the boot from their respective pressure cookers! We discuss where this leaves both of their reputations and why Chelsea - in Jim’s view - are giving North Korea vibes. In more important matters, a...

Marcus, Vish, Jim and Andy celebrate the glorious return of club football and a very, VERY inglorious week for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. Lol. We chat about all of that nonsense, plus Marcus rallies to Roy the Boy’s defence and tips Crystal Palace for the Europa League (“clip that”). We also discuss what Jack Grealish really needs to add to his Chinese takeaway ahead of Man City vs Liverpool...