Football Ramble

The FA Cup returns! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim bring you more heartwarming tales from the football world – from former Wolves stalwart Jonny smashing up TVs, to Antony doing circles in a Saudi Arabian palace after a £200m move. There’s also Spurs creeping into Pep’s head, David Wagner and Jürgen Klopp sing David Hasselhoff together, and we form football’s next great powerhouse: Guinea United. Foll...

Marcus has arrived, wind-swept and heartbroken, from Craven Cottage ready to record a Ramble Reacts with his old pal Andy Brassell. Despite the result, Marcus tells Andy why Issa Diop’s goal was one of his favourite Fulham goals in recent memory. Plus, Andy explains how Jürgen Klopp could be becoming more and more like José Mourinho and the lads take a moment to get excited for another Liverpool v...

Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy pick through the wreckage of Chelsea’s demolition job on a spirited Middlesbrough - a club that Pete regards with an almost insulting level of indifference. Elsewhere, we check in with the latest El Chiringuito livestream after their bizarre attempted hit job on Jose Mourinho, who’s probably too busy eyeing up the Newcastle job to notice. We also discuss Kalvin Phillips’...

Marcus and Luke wade through thin South Coast gruel after Wolves left Brighton with a decent goalless draw. Gag O’Neil was certainly happy, anyway. We also tip our hats to James Milner who continues to defy biology and check in with an outrageous shock at AFCON. Also: how did Gareth Bale ended up so ripped, despite only eating mountains of baked beans before games? Follow us on Twitter , Instagram...

Fire up the PGMOL paper shredder, it’s another action-packed weekend in the Premier League! Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim are here to pick up the pieces. We discuss Ivan Toney’s free-kick shenanigans, the return of one of Manchester United’s cult heroes (read: shocking signings) at the Africa Cup of Nations, and Ross County manager Derek Adams continues his one-man campaign to destroy his own team’s...

Social media has just become an accepted part of modern football, but is it really a good thing and does it actually make you feel closer to your club? Marcus, Jim and Vish debate that on today’s Mailbag before coming to a conclusion that would improve everything… Matt Le Tissier has to write every footballer's tweets. Elsewhere, they share their most surprising player comebacks and Vish accuses T...

A message for Forest Green Rovers: Pete Donaldson is available for the dugout. Please find our reference in the following episode… Marcus, Vish and Jim look ahead to the weekend, with some innovative ideas for managers to brand their players with club tattoos, Arsène Wenger being very voyeuristic at people’s weddings, and Marcus incurring the wrath of the Swifties. And there’s a big grudge match t...

Jordan Henderson pulling out of Saudi Arabia? After six months? Completely unpaid?! Fire up the Ramble Reacts… Pete and Andy discuss two important victories for the two Premier League clubs in the dock this week, while Roy ‘The Arrogant Owl’ Hodgson digs himself in a little deeper. Plus, an unexpected call for reform at Southend Airport and an even more unexpected cameo from Isaac Hayden in the co...

A big cupset in the FA Cup 3rd Round! Today, Marcus confirms to Luke, Vish and Jim that he is now a Moyes Out man after West Ham crashed out to Bristol City last night. He did take EastEnders off air after all… Elsewhere, the Ramblers try to assess whether the owners of Everton and Nottingham Forest have cause for complaint after the latest Premier League profit and sustainability charges. But spe...

Pete is back on the pod! And he’s back with a bang. Or a crack, actually… He joins Marcus and Vish to discuss Kevin De Bruyne’s terrifying (and luscious) return to the Premier League, unwelcome news about Salt Bae’s meat thermometer, and whether Birmingham City manager Tony Mowbray actually came up with Tony’s Chocolonely. We’ll get back to you on that one. We also have just enough time to reveal...

England fans once blamed a Steven Gerrard misplaced pass at the Euros on the fact that he didn’t have a winter break... obviously. Today, Marcus, Jim and Vish discuss whether this new-look January schedule is finally the solution to Premier League burnout. Elsewhere, what do Zinedine Zidane, Philippe Coutinho and Gareth Barry have in common? And we try to decide on one wildcard spot for the Englan...

The Prem is back with a big ol’ relegation six-pointer! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish preview that and a whole lot more. We wonder in what state Kevin De Bruyne will return to Premier League action against Newcastle, Phil Brown gets last one shot at management before he gets the Bargain Hunt gig, and there is a MAJOR headloss in the final round of Jack’s Encyclopaedia. And, of course, to one of our l...

In a twist that left Marcus’ aunt practically choking on her Victoria sponge, Liverpool turned the first leg of their Carabao Cup semi-final on its head after going behind against Marco Silva’s men! But then Fulham do have a chance of winning the Euro Millions. So, you know, there is always that. Marcus and Jim reflect on an intriguing encounter where Liverpool once again found a way to win thanks...

Football recently lost one of its greats. Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish remember Franz Beckenbauer – a player who reinvented his position and whose name has more significance than almost anyone else in the sport, though not without controversy. Elsewhere, Marcus jinxes Middlesbrough after their historic win against Chelsea last night, before we ask the question on everyone's lips: why haven't...

That’s (almost) a wrap on the FA Cup third round! And we’re already looking forward to Liverpool playing Maidstone United on a plastic pitch at 12:30 in a few weeks’ time… Marcus, Luke and Vish look back on some of the best bits from one of the best weekends in the football calendar. Jason Tindall pulling on Sunderland fans’ heartstrings? Darwin Nunez playing a fan’s head like a drum? And a Pascal...

Should FA Cup underdogs be allowed to choose whether they play at home or away? Marcus Speller thinks so. Today he, Luke and Jim discuss the one change they would each make to improve the world’s oldest cup competition. Speaking of making improvements, Jim also makes the case for banning Sweet Caroline from football. Plus, we hear from a listener that once beat Jamie Redknapp at Table Tennis. Foll...

It’s FA Cup third round weekend! And what a curtain-raiser it was last night on ITV4… Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish discuss Sunderland gaffes ahead of the derby, Arsenal moaning ahead of their clash with Liverpool, and why Paul Cook is definitely ready to spring a cupset! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Rambl...

Wayne Rooney lasted longer than the cabbage. And at least he didn’t have one thrown at him like Steve Bruce. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss the exit of Luke Littler’s younger brother from Birmingham City and just why useful-FIFA-Committee-idiot-in-waiting Garry Cook appointed him in the first place. We also ponder West Ham fans’ split on Davide Moyes and – in totally normal news – Gianluigi B...

Festive football has almost drawn to a close and the highlight is most definitely Noni Madueke calling friend of the Ramble Jules Breach “bro”. Marcus, Andy, Jim and Vish react to that and share their displeasure that Liverpool vs Newcastle didn’t end 4-3. Just for old times’ sake. Elsewhere, Marcus makes his case for why Arsenal need a Tom Cairney in midfie...

Football’s great - but it’s not perfect. As a new year rolls around, we thought it was a perfect time to decide on some resolutions that football should definitely adopt. All of them. Even the ridiculous ones. Marcus, Jim, Luke and Vish bring some idea of their own, from shot clocks and sartorial guidance to fundamentally destroying the fabric of the game. Plus, we sift through a boatload of sugge...

Marcus, Andy and Jim are back to answer more of your questions, and we’re kicking off with one that’s dominated English football discourse for years: why doesn't England produce many elite coaches? Whether it’s a lack of intelligent football discussion (guilty), the FA resting on their laurels or dwindling opportunities in the Premier League, there’s loads to get stuck into. We then undo all our c...

If you’re going to make one New Year’s resolution, make it this: watch the Indian national team at the Asian Cup. Why, you ask? Trevor Sinclair has just been made their overhead kick coach. Marcus, Andy and Jim look back on a bitterly disappointing night for Arsenal and Konstantinos Mavropanos, who had to go through the Scott Sinclair Moral Maze™ of scoring against a club he barely playe...

We’re back with more fond reminisces! On today’s episode, we return to a difficult day for VAR and an even more difficult day for Pete Donaldson’s Twitter mentions. Plus, some of the worst stadium trivia you will ever hear in Jack’s Encyclopaedia and an update on Andy Carroll’s French renaissance! If you missed it, catch Part 1 of our 2023 throwback which came out on Boxing Day! Follow us on Twitt...

Boxing Day, you never disappoint. Marcus, Andy and Luke are here and full of the joys of Christmas! And Luke can confirm that one Gosport Borough fan definitely was too… We discuss Man United’s Christmas miracle and everything you need to know about Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s deal (translation: we talk about his haunted pub). After another defeat for Newcastle, are reports that Eddie Howe is in trouble a...

Today, we’re throwing it back to the start of 2023 and reliving some of our favourite Ramble moments! The final stretch of the 2022/23 season saw some “proper gubbings", including Liverpool's seven-goal demolition of Man United. Oh, and don't forget the poor bloke who went to fill up his car and returned to his radio to find Spurs 5-0 down to Newcastle. The first half of 2023 of course also featur...