Football Ramble

Luke, Jim and Vish kick off proceedings with an intriguing question about this season’s incredible title race: for which manager would winning the league be the biggest achievement? Plus, we’re building some famous football statues in some offensive locations and we finalise the definitive list of collective nouns for different clubs’ supporters. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTu...

Three things we didn’t expect in the studio today: a hammer, Sean Connery, and loads of Wellman supplements after Pete played table tennis against David Gandy. It can only be Preview Show time! Pete, Luke, Jim and Vish – wielding said hammer – look forward to the return of the Premier League and the absolute egg-melter that is Man City vs Arsenal. Plus, an alarming email about mascots with human h...

Back in November Marcus and Luke picked their England starting XI for Euro 2024. Four months and a lot of football later it’s now time for the lads to re-visit their selections. Are they still starting Harry Maguire and Kalvin Phillips? Where should England play Phil Foden? Strike up the band, we’ve officially got Euros fever! Follow us on  Twitter ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and&n...

Marcus, Andy, Luke and Vish are here with some consoling words for our Welsh brethren, after their Euros journey fell at the final hurdle last night. Here’s hoping they triumph in their next Penalty Competition™. Elsewhere, England let the handbrake off and nabbed a draw against Belgium - might be worth putting the handbrake back on, as it turns out. Plus, Georgia get to showcase their incredible...

England may have lost to Brazil but you can’t create the feelgood factor without having a bad moment first, right? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete hold onto that hope and book Kobbie Mainoo a seat on the plane after seeing that one turn in the second half. Oooft. Elsewhere, the lads take heart in realising France are now sh*t after they lost to Germany and James McFadden vows never to return to...

The narrative that has been created around Southgate is one of squandered opportunities and an inability to match tactics against the elite in Europe. Is that fair? Would a penalty shootout win against Italy have changed everything? Marcus, Andy and Vish explore that on today’s show. Elsewhere, Vish makes his case for Brazil as the defining international team in football history. Plus, could Bagpi...

It’s international week! Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim leave the boffins behind for Anthony Hopkins and Robbie Savage giving Wales’ next team-talk, Matt Berry giving England’s next team-talk, and a heartbreaking defeat for San Marino… We also discuss Nike’s change to the St George’s cross on the latest England kit which has led to sleepless nights for all of us and the heel returns to Jack’s Encyclop...

As a special Thursday treat, we're bringing you this week's Patreon-exclusive edition of Ramble Uncut! Luke reveals what happened when a man donned a Santa costume to calm down a group of angry Celtic fans, Jim thinks he's found the worst taxi driver in the world, and a listener informs us of a stunning revelation pertaining to blimps... To join the conversation every single week, head over to pat...

Kobbie Mainoo is the latest addition to Gareth’s Governors so naturally, Marcus is swinging from the chandelier. Before that however, the boffins at the Premier League are forcing Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish to wade through an annoying amount of admin after Nottingham Forest’s points deduction. Maybe that’s the real deterrent? Elsewhere, the Ramblers get hyped for Wales' huge Euros play-off, Vish t...

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod!! Today, Pete celebrated the return of the man of the bat by going through his old tweets. Concerning… Elsewhere, Luke tells Marcus, Vish and Pete that he thinks Man United vs Liverpool was the barn-burner of the season. However, he also reveals that it wasn’t even the most exciting thing to happen this weekend after he had a bust up on X with Matt Le Tissier...

Are Arcade Fire bigger than Arsenal? Are Hula Hoops bigger than Man City? Should you play without a goalkeeper? How many defenders do you really need at a corner? Just a small sample of the questions Marcus, Luke and Jim get stuck into on today’s Mailbag. Follow us on  Twitter ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTube , and email us here:  show@footballramble.com . Sign up...

Marcus, Luke and Jim whizz round the best moments from last night’s European Battle of the Banter, as plenty of English sides impressed and Anthony Taylor delivered the best mugging off you’ll ever see from a ref. We then look ahead to this weekend’s FA Cup quarter-finals, as Man City face a beleaguered Newcastle and Man Utd face a lawsuit from their own staff. Away from that cup magic, we also pr...

Arsenal’s penalty shootout win over Porto was so exhilarating that even the crowd were exhausted at the end - so how do you think a 41 year-old Pepe felt? Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy breakdown the game and ask whether Martin Ødegaard could play football in a train station Pret a Manger. Plus, Pete tells us how to hack the UEFA computers ahead of next season’s Champions League draw and Jim has an id...

Chelsea delivered a huge blow to Newcastle’s ambitions for the rest of the season – and a huge blow to Andy Brassell’s hopes of watching them play the runners-up from the Slovenian top-flight next season in the Europa Conference League. And that’s all coming from what could have been the real True Geordie, Pete Donaldson. Andy joins Pete to react to Chelsea’s 3-2 win over an increasingly beleaguer...

What a weekend in the Prem! And after all the controversy, Pete has a brand new innovation for refereeing. Introducing… The No Context Man, sponsored by Ronseal! Unlike Andy Townsend, Pete, Andy and Jim have their vouchers for the football buffet and tuck right in. How did Liverpool manage to somehow feel disappointed with a draw having started with that lineup against Man City? Why is Mikel Artet...

Jim, Andy and Rhythmic Pete Donaldson are back with another rummage in the postbag, addressing listener questions and problems with the poise and dignity you’ve come to expect. We start by wondering what aspects of other sports football should steal - a draft system? Pausing for afternoon tea? Mario Balotelli smashing up a car? We also place a few of our favourite pre-Premier League footballers in...

Pete, Andy and Jim run the rule over last night’s European action – and then turn to the big one, Liverpool vs Man City, Klopp vs Pep, Trent vs… Haaland. The lads discuss that particular war of words – plus, Roma welcome Brighton with an obscene banner about the Queen and Gary Neville is set to meet the Glazers. And some glazers. Join us! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and...

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success is a couple of brave English boys and King Kylian. We also check in with some potential Mauricio Pochettino alternatives at the Bridge, Richarlison auditions for Curb Your Enthusiasm and Sean Dyche parachutes in to save the UK government. Plus: which...

On a bruising night for Sheffield United, Marcus and Andy pick apart their season and whether it was always destined to end this way. They also rub their hands over what looks to be the most exciting Premier League title race in years between Arsenal, Man City and Liverpool, and decide that Kai Havertz’s random milestone is definitely worth a sparkler or two. Come join us! Follow us on Twitter , I...

Mark Clattenburg is banging on the door of the studio asking for answers, but we just about managed to keep him out and record a brand new Ramble! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete discuss controversy at the City Ground, have a stern word with Phil Foden about how to fire a crossbow, and Pete shares some of his own tales from the BRITs after Ivan Toney pops up there! Marcus also makes an extra spot in th...

What are the characteristics of a great derby? Are half and half scarves REALLY that bad? Do we criticise refs too much? Who are the most unexpected famous fans of our clubs? Marcus, Luke and Andy have the keys to answer those questions on today’s Mailbag. Follow us on  Twitter ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTube , and email us here:  show@footballramble.com . Sign u...

It’s Manchester derby weekend! And there’s one question on everyone’s lips here at the Ramble: will a pie be thrown? Marcus, Luke and Andy talk about those stunning scenes at the Edinburgh derby and ask whether Erik Ten Hag should really be asking for an apology from Fulham’s TikTok account. Luke and Andy lock horns over the Paul Pogba ban and then over Jack’s Encyclopaedia, where there is perhaps...

We have our FA Cup quarter-final lineup! And – oh no – Pete sees who Newcastle have drawn while recording the show. But which better Ramble shoulder to cry on than Luke’s? Pete and Luke reflect on a laboured victory for Manchester United that kept them in the hat and another night of Antony being the most predictable winger in the world. Luke also celebrates the return of Normal Bloke Wayne Rooney...

After last night’s FA Cup action, we’re one step closer to Pete spending a load of money so he can watch Newcastle lose to Man City at Wembley. Today, Marcus, Pete, Jim and Andy take a moment to enjoy that fact before debating whether Leicester edging out Bournemouth 1-0 really classes as a cupset. Elsewhere, the lads get excited for Wayne Rooney’s punditry debut, Pete launches a new career as a s...

Jarrod Bowen scored his first senior hat-trick and, in an amazing turn of events, it’s got Andy waving the Bowen for England flag harder than Marcus! Probably because he’s too busy waving his Neal Maupay for France flag, to be honest… Marcus and Andy react to an entertaining game at the London Stadium. The “is David Moyes the right man for West Ham?” de...