Football Ramble

Vish has always said this: Australians are unpredictable. You simply do not know where you stand with ‘em. And that was the same for most of Spurs’ XI last night in yet another defeat at Stamford Bridge. Marcus, Jim, ACAB Brassell and the V2 Rocket himself discuss a huge night for both clubs that left Son Heung-Min and Pierre Emile-Hojbjerg shoving each other and Mauricio Pochettino signing an XL...

The road to Euro 2024 starts TODAY! Marcus and Luke are back with their third ever series of Lions Watch, where you’ll find everything you need to know about the England men’s national team – and plenty you don’t. Today, England are officially favourites: so, how do we feel about it? Plus, Luke argues why it’s time to fire the Eric Dier signal and Marcus shares his worries about a robot serving th...

An old money derby in the Champions League semi-final, it doesn’t get more grand than that, eh? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy are here to speculate what Jude Bellingham said to Harry Kane and analyse Kane’s new penalty technique ahead of the Euros. Elsewhere, Jim compares Howard Webb and Michael Owen to a South American dictator and Vish compares Man United to car boot sale. Plus, the Ramblers...

Boo? Yeah, boo. Luke was amongst the confused boo boys at Spurs yesterday after a first half full of promise and a second half full of Cristian Romero taking matters into his own hands left them point-less against that pesky Arsenal. He joins Marcus and Jim to react to a huge day for the Gunners and Anne Hathaway – plus, Everton get past their one big blob of problem to stay in the Premier League...

The Premier League is the biggest cash cow in football – for better and for worse. So how can a spending cap work? A listener asks Marcus, Luke and Andy about the ripple effects – plus, favourite stadium entrances (including an escalator, yes please), a debate that’s dividing the Football Ramble Discord, and a question from Kathmandu in Nepal! We’re more worldwide than Pitbull! We're back on stage...

Did anyone see Kyle Walker lay an egg last night? Well, Jim Campbell did and he tells Marcus, Luke and Andy why he thinks it’s a good omen for Arsenal. Elsewhere, we ask: was Man City’s win so comfortable that it might encourage Oasis to get back together? Plus, Marcus questions whether Anne Hathaway is a fraud and Luke gives us exclusive insider information on why Matt Ritchie has been training f...

As Liverpool found out, all the romantic farewell narrative in the world can’t stop a freshly tracksuit-bottomed Sean Dyche delivering a hammer blow to your title chances. And what a performance from that new lad, Daniel Calvert-Lewin! Marcus and Luke give their takes on a dismal night for Liverpool which needed a calm slot into the bottom corner, but instead got Darwin Núñez desperately smashing...

“We’ve just beat Chelsea 5-0. Shall we take this upstairs?” Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish react to a demolition job at the Emirates and some extremely intimate celebrations for the Arsenal fans. Elsewhere, the Ramblers show their support for Gary Neville being taken to task, even if Nottingham Forest are still embarrassing. Speaking of which, Luke also gives his thoughts on Erik ten Hag’s latest pre...

Marcus is calling for more corruption from officials after VAR correctly ruled out Coventry’s winner against Man United. At least the result means Erik ten Hag might keep his Job. So there is something for us all to enjoy. Elsewhere, Marcus, Jim and Pete investigate another huge conspiracy after hearing rumours that the VAR official in the Everton vs Forest game was a HUGE Football Ramble fan. Spe...

For the first time in five long years, the Football Ramble is back on the stage! On Friday 20th September 2024, we’re performing a very special show at the London Palladium. And we want YOU to join us! For one night only, Football Ramble: Time Tunnel will guide you through the most outrageous and hilarious moments in football across the last 17 years of the Ramble.  General sale goes LIVE on...

Pep Guardiola arrived at Manchester City almost 8 years ago. A reign that started with sacking Joe Hart has turned into one the most impactful managerial careers in Premier League history. Today, Marcus, Andy and Luke assess how Pep has revolutionised the English game. Elsewhere, Luke explains we it is a joke that the player of the season is being awarded already. Plus, the Ramblers re-call some o...

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after last night’s European frolickings and then realise that the FA Cup has crept up on us. Alejandro Garnacho shows digital contrition ahead of Man United’s semi-final against Coventry City, Paul Scholes gets his old chap out, and players injure themselv...

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides. On a night which saw Erling Haaland subbed before extra time, Vish asks whether Man City had too many cooks and no one to eat the pudding. In Munich, Arsenal also appeared to be lacking an appetite as they failed to trouble Bayern. We wonder where Arsenal g...

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to review a night of Champos action that at times resembled a drunken brawl - and they bloody enjoyed it! You know what they also bloody enjoyed? Portsmouth returning to the Championship! And they created the perfect conditions for a pi...

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is already planing his post-title win sesh. Marcus, Jim and Pete react to a huge weekend at the top of the Premier League as both Liverpool and Arsenal promptly put their special carton of Premier League celebration milk back into the freezer (more on that at the e...

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers! We wonder if a Premier League game could - and should - be played overseas after FIFA’s change of tune this week. Also, should professional fouls be dealt with more harshly? And which animal would cause maximum chaos if released onto a football pit...

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that going out of the Europa League would at least mean he is on the beach a week earlier... Elsewhere, Pete expresses his jealousy towards John McGinn’s large bum and, in an unrelated turn of events, he and Andy explain how they are coping with their midlif...

Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark. Marcus and Jim look back on two entertaining Champions League quarter-finals! Well, spare a thought for Marcus having to watch Atlético try to sit on a 2-0 lead… Plus, a reappraisal of Rodrigo de Paul (aka Messi’s bouncer) and his hair, speculation about Ron...

How about that football, eh? Last night’s Champions League action was so good that Andy has decided he needs to get a second big telly to watch all the barns burn at once. Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy reflect on Arsenal showing glimpses of their ITV era last night and marvel at the quality of goals on display in Madrid. Plus, Andy explains why Sporting manager Rúben Amorim would be a good fit for Li...

Did you know that if you’re a Tottenham player you can punch a Nottingham Forest player on a Sunday afternoon without punishment? Today Marcus, Luke and Jim applaud James Maddison’s knowledge and application of that rule this weekend. Elsewhere, Luke compares Man United vs Liverpool to Pulp Fiction and Jim dismisses James Ward-Prowse scoring from a corner because it was “wind-assisted”. Plus, the...

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back in Correspondence Corner tackling some more of your cracking questions! We start with an interesting one: in the age of mass media coverage and scrabbling for social media clicks, is football punditry becoming more divisive and are club biases paraded around too often?  We also wonder which players or managers missed their chance at a big move, and we pitch some...

What… on EARTH was that?! Marcus, Luke and Jim recap Cole Palmer 4-3 Moments FC, where perhaps the biggest takeaway from one of the most ridiculous games you’ll ever see was: you’ve got to feel sorry for Harry Maguire. Elsewhere, Chris Wilder finds himself snookered, Vincent Kompany is forced to manage Burnley’s next crucial game from a blimp and we stumble across one of the most outrageously-name...

Marcus didn’t think he’d ever make this comparison but… Phil Foden went full-blown Wayne Rooney against Aston Villa! It was a stunning hat-trick. But what were Villa doing leaving the serving hatch of their wall wide open for his first goal? Marcus and Jim react to victories for Man City and Arsenal which keep the title race cookin’. Plus, Marcus impersonates Jim’s dad and Steve Bruce reveals he h...

Marcus, Luke and Jim dive into yet more Barclays action, as a gloriously violent cameo from Newcastle's Paul Dummett gave Everton some much-needed points. Generous, innit. Elsewhere, journalists continue to ask Mad Pep some even madder questions, Morgan Gibbs-White turns into primetime Zinedine Zidane and Liverpool prepare to use their Sheffield United at home voucher. A midweek treat! Follow us o...

Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete return after Man City 0-0 Arsenal to find the barn very much intact. Wasn’t even remotely burned. Pep Guardiola still found plenty to be angry about, of course. Luckily there were plenty of other Barclays bangers to get stuck into, as Man United somehow escaped Brentford with a point, West Ham somehow lost a crazy game at Newcastle, and Chelsea somehow remain the most m...